Kate Mosier, Marriage and Family Therapist

04/29/2022

Great article to check out!

Helping our kids increase their well-being and enable them to meet the stresses of the world with presence, self-compassion, and openness.

04/26/2022

Sharing this great new group, starting next week for my local parents!

02/04/2022

I love the ideas and tips given in this article for transitioning from work to home life!

Don't push them away when you need them the most.

01/28/2022

01/25/2022

This looks pretty great so I wanted to share with any parents of high school boys in the South Bay!

01/07/2022

This!!!!

Last night my daughter sat at the kitchen counter to study. She wouldn't admit it, but when she does this I know it's because she doesn't want to be alone in her room, so I stayed in the kitchen puttering around.

In between annotating a passage and answering review questions for history and figuring out math problems, she peppered me with questions.

What if I get COVID and can't take my final exams?

What if I miss all the review sessions?

What if all my teachers get sick?

What if they shut the school down again?

What if this never ends?

And I did my best to answer these questions and qualm her fears, the same ones I've been having a little bit for her, too.

As we went on, I could hear the tension in her voice, see it in her body every time I glanced over at her. Like everyone else in the world, we've struggled over the last two years. We've faced challenges. We've fought with our mental health.

It finally dawned on me what my daughter needed to hear.

"You know what? We're just going to do our best. But our best looks different right now."

She stopped a second to look up.

"I know usually doing your best means how much effort you put into something, but your best might mean just taking your finals and failing them all. And if that happens, it will be okay. We can still figure it out.

Your best might be if you get sick, only focusing on getting well.

Your best might be getting more sleep instead of studying.

Your best might be just getting up each morning to face the day right now."

Then I took a deep breath and said, "Listen, I want you to know that whatever your best is right now, I am totally okay with it. I don't care about your grades right now. I just care about you. Hard stop."

And I think I saw her exhale for the first time this week.

Until two weeks ago, I felt like our family and many others were starting to get back on track. Kids were in school, activities were occurring, routines were established. We were adjusting to some new ways to do things, bringing back some of the traditions.

But right now, we all are having a PTSD response to the beginning of the pandemic and it's causing so much anxiety as we try to balance what we're feeling right now with the expectations we want for our future.

And while I have thoughts on how things should be handled, I know everything is out of my control right now, so I can only focus on what I can control in my own house.

So I gave my daughter permission to do her best, whatever that is for her right now. No questions asked.

And I meant it.

Because her grades or what college she gets into doesn't matter a lick if her mental health has so deteriorated that she can't function in this world.

Everything is out of our teens' control right now. For kids who already put a lot of pressure on themselves, give them permission to just get through this time.

And mean it when you say it.

Because right now, our best is what's best for us and can't be affiliated with a grade or number or achievement.

Our kids' lives are depending on us.

Hard stop.

*Shared with permission from Whitney Fleming Writes

10/26/2021

Love these suggestions!

10/09/2021

Great visual to use with your child. What is the feeling(s) causing the secondary emotion of anger?

09/24/2021

When a child's emotions get hot, it's hard for anyone to remain calm. That's where practicing calming strategies before the emotions boil over can help, according to Katie Hurley.

09/15/2021

For you and your child! 🥰

09/14/2021

This!!