11/09/2025
Let’s be real: people-pleasing is not just “being nice.”
It’s self-abandonment with a smile on top.
You were trained to keep the peace.
To be the easy one.
To never make anything heavier for anyone else.
So now your default is:
“Yes, I can.”
“It’s fine.”
“No worries.”
Even when it’s not fine and you’re drowning.
Here’s the shift:
If saying “no” feels scary, that means your nervous system got wired to believe your needs are a threat to your relationships.
But listen.
Your needs are not a problem.
Your voice is not a problem.
Your boundaries are not a problem.
The pattern is the problem.
And patterns can be re-trained.
Start here:
Say “Let me get back to you” instead of yes on autopilot.
One small pause is the beginning of a bigger life.
Save this for when you’re about to say yes… again.