Heart Mind & Soul Counseling, LLC

12/23/2025

We tend to hang onto that one negative event of the day. Even when there were a thousand things that went right. However, what if you paid equal attention to that okay thing?

When you notice a glimmer, even for a second, your body gets the message: You’re safe right now. There’s a slight release of your muscles. Your breathing begins to steady. Your shoulders move ever so slightly away from your ears. Your capacity for connection and curiosity expands.

My latest CH2 Magazine article explores this exact concept.

Happy Holidays!

Twinkle Lights for the Soul

Article by Sheila Tucker
Photography by Maggie Washo

I’ll be the first to tell you that I approach the time change like a toddler being put down for a nap. I fight it all the way. As much as I love the idea of an extra hour of sleep, I never seem to get it.

Simply put, I’m not a fan of the shorter days and longer nights. Even a month in, I’m still not used to it.

However, there is a part of this season that I do love: It’s the twinkling of holiday lights and sitting in front of a fire. Everything is so pretty in the firelight, and any time twinkling lights are involved. For me, these lights symbolize togetherness, coziness, and connection. Just thinking about over-the-top, Clark Griswold-inspired decorations brings a smile to my face.

I also know you don’t have to limit looking for twinkling lights only in darkness. Dare I say, you can also look for light in your everyday life.

I call them “glimmers.”

One day, as I was sitting in my office with the sun shining through the windows, the sparkling remnants of a glitter-infused project caught my eye. I immediately smiled, remembering all the fun and the quick mental health lessons that happened that day. Because, yes, there can be a mental health message in glitter.

I describe glimmers as the times when something brings you peace or a smile to your face, even if it’s only slight.

Although I excitedly thought I came up with this original idea, the term was first coined by Deb Dana, a clinician and author known for her work with Polyvagal Theory. She describes glimmers as “micro-moments of safety, connection, and regulation that help a person’s nervous system feel calm and centered, even amidst suffering.” They’re the small, often fleeting moments that quietly remind you and your nervous system that safety and connection still exist.

And they’re literally everywhere, yet so easy to miss. Especially when life feels like a nonstop to-do list.

Your nervous system is constantly scanning the environment for cues of safety and danger. This process happens below your conscious awareness and influences everything from how easily you connect with others to how you process stress.

When you notice a glimmer, even for a second, your body gets the message: You’re safe right now. There’s a slight release of your muscles. Your breathing begins to steady. Your shoulders move ever so slightly away from your ears. Your capacity for connection and curiosity expands.

Glimmers help us feel grounded and more present, which is particularly powerful for those who live in a state of chronic stress, anxiety, or emotional vigilance.

To be clear, noticing glimmers doesn’t mean pretending everything’s OK when it isn’t. Unfortunately, they’re not erasers, wiping away your negative experiences or feelings. Instead, it’s about recognizing that safety and calm can coexist with uncertainty and chaos. Even during hard seasons, your body can learn to find its way back to steadiness, one small signal at a time.

It takes practice to notice the subtle.

Our brains are wired with a negativity bias. It’s a survival mechanism that prioritizes potential threats over pleasant experiences, like focusing on that one thing that went wrong today, instead of the many that turned out OK. Thousands of years ago, this helped us stay alive. Today, it can steal your time and happiness, rather than allowing you to sit in the glow of a sunset or be present with the people you love the most.

But the incredible thing about the nervous system is that it can be retrained. Each time you recognize a glimmer, you strengthen neural pathways that make calm and safety easier to access in the future.

Here’s a quick practice to get you started: As you go about your day, be on the lookout for situations that make you smile, even slightly, or make you utter “yes” under your breath.

Notice what it feels like in your body.

That’s your glimmer.

Here are a few of my personal examples:

• Hearing my dog snore (especially after a really long walk)

• Watching the birds visiting my bird feeder

• Catching a green light at an intersection known for a long red light

Yours could be:

• Feeling a gentle breeze on your face

• The sound of your children giggling

• Hearing your favorite song while driving to work

By acknowledging these moments, you’re teaching your body that peace is possible, even if it’s fleeting. Over time, your awareness expands, and instead of looking for glimmers, they begin to appear in the most unexpected places, like when you’re pumping gas or grocery shopping.

There isn’t a day that goes by that I’m not suggesting the concept of glimmers to a client. I do it because it’s an easy win. In real time, you can have proof that you don’t have to overhaul your life to feel a sense of ease or tap into your curiosity. You just have to notice what’s already there.

When you ignore these micro-moments, life can start to feel like an endurance test. It can be easy to spiral into a state of doom and gloom or hopelessness.

When you pause to see them, you begin to experience yourself and your situations differently. Your world starts to widen. You become a little more open and a little more curious. Relationships have the capacity to deepen because you can connect from a regulated place rather than a reactive one. (I often say, “No one wants to hug a cactus.”)

Glimmers remind us that joy and peace don’t always arrive in grand gestures. They live in ordinary, often overlooked moments, the ones that make up most of our days.

Each small noticing is an act of care. Each moment of awareness is a soft reminder to your nervous system that safety, connection, and goodness still exist.

The more you notice glimmers, the more you feel them.

The more you feel them, the more they grow.

And perhaps that’s the quiet magic of glimmers.

They will teach you how to come home to yourself, one ordinary, extraordinary moment at a time. Especially during these longer nights of winter.

10/16/2025

When you listen to music, you’re not just hearing sound. You’re participating in a connection. A favorite song can take you back to a moment in time, linking you to people you love or places you’ve been. And for some, it can give you goosebumps.

I hope you enjoy this article all about music frisson. Read more to find out what I'm talking about.

CH2 Magazine

When a Melody Feels Like Magic

Article by Sheila Tucker
Photography by Maggie Washo

It doesn’t happen every time. However, it has happened so many times that I’ve lost count. I’m listening to a song. And there’s no other way I can convey it, other than to say the music or the lyrics, or both, deeply touch my soul. It’s a visceral, full-body experience that can even leave the top of my head tingling. In an instant, chills race up my arms and the back of my neck.

Sometimes I smile, and other times I’m totally mesmerized, my gaze transfixed. Like when a chorus drops and suddenly you’re weightless, floating in a lavender haze. Goosebumps immediately take over where the chills left off, and then I’m left with this flooding sense of awe.

This spine-tingling phenomenon has a name. It’s called “frisson,” or in this case, “musical frisson.”

I naively thought everyone experienced it. A conversation with a friend proved that’s not true. When she hears music, she doesn’t have the same reaction. The music still moves her; and sometimes she’ll tear up, smile, or sing with passion when the lyrics are especially meaningful. But still, no chills or goosebumps. Turns out, only about 50% to 55% of people experience frisson – which, of course, made me immediately want to know why.

A small study in 2016, led by Matthew Sachs, then a PhD student at the University of Southern California, looked at 20 participants. He found that 10 participants consistently reported chills from music, and 10 didn’t. Brain scans revealed differences between the two groups.

Individuals in the frisson group had stronger fiber connections between the auditory cortex (which processes sound) and areas of the brain associated with emotion. They also showed higher activity in the prefrontal cortex, which helps us interpret meaning, such as the story within a song’s lyrics.

Musical frisson isn’t just in your head. It affects your entire nervous system.

According to Dr. Haley Nelson, a neuroscientist, frisson is characterized by a rush of dopamine, the neurotransmitter linked with pleasure and reward.

There’s another theory that suggests a connection to your nervous system response. Musical chills might be the result of the shifts between your parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest) and your sympathetic nervous system (fight, flight, freeze, and fawn). Those spine-tingling thrills happen when your nervous system toggles between calm and aroused states.

Sachs explained: “People who get the chills have an enhanced ability to experience intense emotions.” While his study focused on music, these findings can be easily extended to other experiences as well. In my personal experience, I agree. I’ve had the same goosebump experience while watching a sunset in the mountains, listening to an empowering speech, on a hike, at a theatre performance, and at an art exhibit.

Never fear. For those of you who don’t experience frisson, there are still so many mental health benefits to engaging in music (and the arts).

According to Johns Hopkins Medicine, listening to music can:

• Reduce anxiety, blood pressure, and pain

• Improve sleep quality

• Boost mood, alertness, and memory

For those wondering, the amount of time required varies depending on your desired outcome. Combined, it’s about five minutes to one hour a day, consistently, to reap those health benefits. And here’s more good news: It doesn’t matter what you listen to.

Consider this your unofficial permission slip. Listen to your favorite local artist, go to that concert or musical, and buy that vinyl. Or, better yet, pick up that guitar you’ve been saying you’re going to start playing. I mean, it’s for your health.

Even though you reap all the health benefits from listening to the music you love, I also suggest exposing yourself to music outside your comfort zone. Try different decades, cultures, or styles. Why? Additional research suggests that listening to unfamiliar genres may have a similar effect on the brain as weightlifting, helping to build new neural pathways. And who doesn’t want those?

So, in addition to pressing repeat on your go-to playlist, try a little musical cross-training. Explore jazz if you usually love pop. Give classical, hip-hop, folk, or indie a chance. Notice how your body reacts. Do you lean in? Do you resist? Do you get goosebumps while listening to some genres but not others? Stay curious and keep experimenting.

Frisson aside, there’s one thing I know for sure. Music is all about relationships. There’s a relationship between the notes, between the musicians creating the music, the producers, mixers, and the listeners. You don’t have to experience frisson to enjoy connection and mental well-being.

When you listen to music, you’re not just hearing sound. You’re participating in a connection. A favorite song can take you back to a moment in time, linking you to people you love or places you’ve been. Music’s rhythms, lyrics, or chords can tether us to each other in ways words alone sometimes can’t. You know, those nights when the music insists that we are family, even if you’ve never met.

And, yes, there’s research to back this up. The research consistently shows that strong social bonds or connections reduce anxiety, buffer stress, and even lower risks of depression and chronic illness.

Music amplifies this effect by giving you shared experiences – like when the lights brighten, and the entire crowd belts out “Don’t Stop Believin’” in unison, or swaying shoulder to shoulder at a concert, or experiencing a connection with the artist when you feel understood through a song’s story. That sense of being seen, heard, and joined by others reminds our nervous system that we’re safe, supported, and not alone.

Go ahead! Sing along to your favorite band, explore something new, and see what kind of goosebumps (or connections) follow.

08/09/2025

08/01/2025

EEEKKK!!! The Lowcountry Mental Health Conference started the day strong with one of my favorite teachers and mentors, Dr. Ramani! I could seriously learn from her all day.

08/01/2025

You’re not lazy.
You’re not behind.
You don’t need to prove your exhaustion.
You’re allowed to pause.
And you’re still lovable when you do. 💚

07/25/2025

🎙 In the sound booth today, recording a few meditations that I'm adding to my (still being created) resource and free stuff page. 💚

Side note: I never thought being in a dimly lit, padded room would be so...comforting. 🤣 But here I am, a non-napper, contemplating a nap. 💤

07/19/2025

My husband gifted me this quote, courtesy of his former therapist, Tom. It's too great not to share. Right?

Annnndddd yes, generalizations are seldom true… including this one. But seriously, try telling that to your overthinking brain at 3 a.m. (or any time, really). 🙃

***Credit where credit is due: A version of this quote has been uttered or written by too many humorists to name. 💚

07/15/2025

✨HEY!✨

Yes, you!

🛑 Stop being so hard on yourself.

You’re allowed to be a beautiful, messy, honest work in progress.

Work in progress ≠ failure. It means you’re in motion.

So maybe, just maybe… ease up on yourself a little today. 💚💚💚

07/13/2025

Feeling scattered?

This is your invitation to slow down.

🍃 Breathe in for 5.

🍃 Breathe out for 5.

🌸Let your nervous system settle.

🌸Let your mind soften.

🌸Let your body come home. 💚