The Center for Integrative Counseling and Wellness

The Center for Integrative Counseling and Wellness We are a team of clinicians dedicated to improving the psychological well-being of our

The Center for Integrative Counseling and Wellness in Hingham is the first of its kind on the South Shore. We are a team of twenty four multi-disciplinary specialists dedicated to improving the psychological health and well-being of our clients through cutting edge treatments. We provide a wide-range of psychotherapy for Divorce & Life Transition, Couples, Child and Adolescent Therapy, ADHD, Eati

ng Disorders, Substance Abuse, Trauma Counseling, Family Therapy, Women’s Issues and Executive Function Coaching . What makes our Center unique is joining psychotherapy treatments with holistic modalities such as Lifestyle Medicine Coaching, Mindfulness Meditation, Yoga and Nutrition Counseling. A treatment center designed with the whole person in mind, taking into account mental, physical and social factors within their treatment plans to create a positive framework for living.

01/20/2023

According to The Gottman Institute, turning toward your partner tells them:

👉I hear you.
👉I’m interested in you.
👉I understand you (or I want to understand you).
👉I’m on your side.
👉I’d love to help you (whether or not I can).
👉I’d love to be with you (whether or not I can).
👉I accept you (even if I don’t accept all of your behaviors).

01/13/2023

In Dr. John Gottman’s Love Lab, he discovered that happy, successful couples have a strong friendship system.

The partners know each other’s world, feel fondness and admiration for each other, and turn towards each other for connection.

They generally perceive each other in a positive light, and tend to give each other the benefit of the doubt when their partner behaves negatively.

The best of relationships have life dreams together and healthy rituals of connection.

Happy, successful partners are not the typical couples who participate in couples counseling.

Couples in couples counseling usually have patterns of criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling (the Four Horseman) that interfere with their ability to have a strong friendship.

Many counselors think the initial work is to strengthen the friendship. They may suggest spending more time together, going on a date, complimenting a partner daily or just being kind to each other.

These are fine things for couples to do; however, it is difficult for couples to be successful with these suggestions when negativity pervades their interactions.

Spending time together is likely to be filled with negative interactions or feelings of disconnection rather than being restorative.

Compliments and kindness don’t undo the power of negative statements—which are twenty times more powerful than the positive statements.

The focus of couples counseling is to minimize negative interactions, so the couple wants to revive the friendship.

Counseling sessions are a training ground for couples to communicate directly about unresolved issues without using the Four Horseman. Friends naturally spend time with each other and typically treat each other with kindness.

01/06/2023

Did you know that couples who stay married turn toward their partner 86% of the time, whereas couples who divorce only turn toward their partner 33% of the time? What is your body language telling your partner?

The Sound Relationship House is a model developed by Dr. John Gottman to help understand relationships. The three bottom...
12/09/2022

The Sound Relationship House is a model developed by Dr. John Gottman to help understand relationships. The three bottom layers of the house create a foundation of friendship. Dr. Gottman states that maintaining friendship and emotional connection fosters romance and great s*x! Learn More: https://relationshipresources.net/the-sound-relationship-house-part-1/

We all say things we don't mean, but for many couples, it is hard to apologize when harsh words or comments erupt. Howev...
10/14/2022

We all say things we don't mean, but for many couples, it is hard to apologize when harsh words or comments erupt. However, realizing and learning how impactful the language you use is, saying "I'm sorry" can go a long way towards repairing and healing a relationship.

10/07/2022

In a recent couples counseling session, Christine insisted that Danny was angry and he was emphatic that he wasn’t angry. Christine persisted that he was and he insisted he wasn’t.

This is an example of a loop in relationships. In this case, both partners are determined that their points of view are the correct one—angry or not angry. I then gave a suggestion how to circumvent this loop.

If Christine moves the accusatory “You are angry” to “You seem angry,” she shares her perception without insisting she is right. If Danny moves from the defensive “I’m not angry” to “I’m not aware of being angry,” this creates the possibility that he could be angry even though he’s not aware of it in the moment.

This is an example of the subtlety of language. If either one of them makes a change, this may be enough to avert a fight. Rather, they would be sharing their perspectives instead of insisting.

When a couple escalates, they are in conflict and unlikely to resolve issues. If a couple starts a conversation with a n...
09/30/2022

When a couple escalates, they are in conflict and unlikely to resolve issues. If a couple starts a conversation with a negative statement, the likelihood of responding negatively is 94%. Therefore it only takes two to three statements to escalate, and subsequent statements can be mean.

A way to minimize escalation is to have a system for minimizing this. Once a partner recognizes they are escalating, a code statement such as “Let’s start over” or “Let’s reset” can identify the escalation—giving the couple a chance to attempt the conversation again.

Typically the dialogue starts with a critical statement and the response is defensive and/or critical in return. “Let’s start over“ allows the couple to begin the dialogue again without the negativity. The hope is that the couple has the skills to be able to do this.

Couples can avoid conflict by either not making a negative statement or by not responding negatively. By transforming th...
09/16/2022

Couples can avoid conflict by either not making a negative statement or by not responding negatively. By transforming the language couples use with each other, couples can talk successfully about anything, leading to a more lasting and fulfilling relationship.

Love is cultivated during the grind of everyday life. Follow these 3 Steps to Reconnect when you feel disconnected from ...
09/02/2022

Love is cultivated during the grind of everyday life. Follow these 3 Steps to Reconnect when you feel disconnected from your partner.

Address

62 Derby Street, Ste 6
Hingham, MA
02043

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Monday 8am - 9pm
Tuesday 8am - 9pm
Wednesday 8am - 9pm
Thursday 8am - 9pm
Friday 8am - 9pm
Saturday 9am - 1pm

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