12/07/2025
“If I accepted myself just as I am, I’d lose all motivation to strive towards my goals. I need my inner critic to become my best self and develop my full potential.”
Many people reject the idea of accepting and loving themselves as they are right now because they’re afraid of losing their inner drive and motivation to change.
However, as Carl Rogers poignantly writes in his book ‘On Becoming a Person’: "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I change."
But why is that so?
One of the main reasons is that (contrary to popular belief) our inner critic is a pretty bad motivator.
In fact, research has shown that constant self-criticism is linked to anxiety, depression, fear of failure, and a low sense of self-efficacy (i.e. the belief that your actions have an impact and that you're capable of reaching a specific goal).
That’s also why chronic self-critics often engage in so-called “self-handicapping behaviors”, are master procrastinators, and often try to cover up their mistakes.
In contrast, when we're self-accepting, we're better able to embrace all facets of ourselves and can recognize both our strengths and weaknesses without judgment. This enables us to acknowledge our limitations and take responsibility for our mistakes.
Moreover, since they don’t threaten our inherent self-worth, we’re less afraid of failures and frame them as opportunities to learn and grow. Finally, instead of wallowing in self-pity, shame, and frustration when things go wrong, we bounce back from setbacks more quickly and focus on new opportunities in the future.
What are your experiences with self-acceptance vs. self-judgment? How do they impact your motivation, performance, and wellbeing? Let me know in the comments below 🥰⬇️💌
Thanks so much for joining me until here, I really appreciate your time.
If you have any feedback, questions, or comments, I’d love to hear from you and have a chat 🥰💌
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Have a lovely day 🌻 Sonja xx
