Compass Counseling

Compass Counseling mental health, counseling and life coaching services

Sharing from a favorite blog, “Barking Up the Wrong Tree”.
09/16/2024

Sharing from a favorite blog, “Barking Up the Wrong Tree”.

How do we reduce anxiety and get our minds to relax? Here's what the latest science says about getting you brain to chill...

Sharing from a favorite author, Tony  Fakhry.
03/22/2024

Sharing from a favorite author, Tony Fakhry.

Recognizing Hidden Obstacles “The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.” — Nathaniel Branden. Life is full of ups and downs. We all face challenges that test our strength and resolve. But sometimes, we unknowingly make things more complicated for ourselves. We c...

Christmas brings different meaning, thoughts, and emotions to each of us.  Not all “merry and bright”.I’m here to help y...
12/26/2023

Christmas brings different meaning, thoughts, and emotions to each of us. Not all “merry and bright”.
I’m here to help you where you are…
Victoria Haag, RN, LCMFT

Even small acts of kindness and understanding plants seeds that you will not see bloom, but know that you made a differe...
12/20/2023

Even small acts of kindness and understanding plants seeds that you will not see bloom, but know that you made a difference in someone's life.
This thought keeps me going each and every day...
Read on!

Unraveling The Butterfly Effect

12/02/2023

Fostering Self-Respect For A Flourishing Life “The more you value yourself, the less you let people treat you poorly.” — Florence Nightingale. In the tapestry of personal growth, woven with threads of self-discovery and resilience, a foundational element is the bedrock for a flourishing life -...

11/28/2023
11/17/2023

Undergoing A Process Of Renewal

11/02/2023

Understanding The "Not Good Enough" Mindset “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson. In a world inundated with messages of perfection and unattainable standards, it’s easy to find ourselves entangl...

09/22/2023

If you are HIGHLY SENSITIVE and want to know more about your INTUITION, click on the link below…

09/18/2023

10 CHARACTERISTICS OF AN EMOTIONALLY STABLE PERSON

As you probably know, life can be a chaotic and unpredictable rollercoaster.

What makes the difference between completely falling apart and keeping a cool head when facing adversity is emotional stability.
It may not be the sexiest trait, but it sure is useful to have when things don’t go your way.

So, what exactly sets emotionally stable people apart? What helps them remain calm and keep their sh** together when things get tough?

Read on to uncover 10 characteristics that define emotionally stable people.

1) SELF-AWARENESS
The key to emotional stability is self-awareness.
But what exactly does that mean? Aren’t we all “aware” of ourselves?
Well yes and no…
A lot of people don’t like to deal with their (negative) emotions, so they bury them deep and pretend they’re not there.
Do you know what happens then?
Something will trigger them and they’ll have a meltdown or a reaction which will leave them wondering, “What was that all about?”
Basically, self-awareness is all about making space for your thoughts and feelings. It means not only recognizing your emotions but trying to figure out why they came about and how they could affect your mood and behavior.
All in all, self-awareness is definitely something to work toward as it can help you identify and deal with emotional triggers, and help you make sound and informed decisions instead of acting in the heat of the moment.
How does that sound?

2) RESILIENCE
Emotionally stable people know that setbacks are a normal part of life.
I mean, going through life without hitting any bumps in the road is simply unheard of.
And anyway, how can you learn and grow if you don’t make any mistakes or face adversity? How can you make progress if you’re not being challenged?
Resilient people know that setbacks are only temporary and they actually see them as opportunities for growth. Actually, it’s this knowledge that makes them so resilient and helps them bounce back quickly.
Anyone who thinks they can succeed at everything in life without facing any obstacles is living in a fantasy world and will end up extremely disappointed when their luck runs out.

3) POSITIVE OUTLOOK
Here’s the thing:
Emotionally stable people like to focus on the positive things in life.
Yes, of course bad things happen. Yes, you could fail at your attempt to accomplish something.
But do you know what?
Good things happen too and you could also end up succeeding! The only way to find out is to try.
That’s why emotionally stable people like to focus on the positive aspects of any given situation and avoid letting the negative get them down.
And did you know that when you’re optimistic and have a positive outlook, you’re more likely to succeed?
It’s true!
That’s because your positivity fuels you to keep going forward and keep trying until you make it.
On the other hand, if you let negativity get the best of you, you may do things half-heartedly or give up altogether.

4) EMOTIONAL REGULATION
Ever seen a grown-up have a tantrum? Yeah, it can be pretty rough.
The thing about people who are not emotionally stable is that because they’re not in touch with their emotions, they’re unable to control them.
That reminds me of my aunt.
Now, you don’t have to be a psych major to be able to read her. A lot of the things she says and does are driven by her insecurities and past hurts and in a very obvious way… Well, obvious to everyone but her.
She has zero self-awareness and is incapable of regulating her emotions, which means she acts in an irrational and often very hurtful manner.
That’s why it’s great to be around people who are emotionally stable, you know they won’t run off the rails. They’re no strangers to their emotions which is why they can regulate them. And no, they certainly don’t have tantrums!

5) CONFIDENDE
The great thing about emotionally stable people is that they’re self-assured and confident and they don’t need anyone else to tell them how much they’re worth.
The truth is that they’re very much aware of their faults and weaknesses, but they also know what their merits and strengths are.
And the result?
They don’t fall apart when someone shoots some criticism their way. They can take it, in fact, they welcome it!
In short: Emotionally stable people are confident and they neither need external validation nor do they let other people’s negative opinions get to them.
I know my confidence could use a boost every now and then.
6) Emotional intelligence
So, emotional intelligence is all about understanding and managing emotions. Your own sure, but also the emotions of other people.
You see, an emotionally intelligent person is able to pick up on other people’s moods and they always know just how to respond. They know when to be quiet and listen and when to speak up.

But that’s not all, they always seem to know the right thing to say.
Now, people who lack emotional intelligence are the types who always come off as insensitive and self-centered. That’s because they’re simply incapable of reading the room.
So as you can see, when it comes to intelligence, it’s not all about being able to do complicated equations in your head or to quote Nobel prize winners, emotional intelligence can be equally useful.

7) SELF DISCIPLINE
Emotionally stable people have the self-discipline I wish I had:

They don’t just start crying for no reason. They don’t get defensive or get into arguments easily. They think before they speak – which means they’re able to avoid impulsive reactions and that’s extremely important when it comes to relationships

They’re consistent when it comes to their values, principles, and goals. And when they make a promise, you can bet anything that they’ll keep it.

They’re able to delay immediate gratification for the sake of long-term goals. For example, say they find out that they have insulin resistance and they decide to change their eating habits. That means no sweets and minimum carbs. Now, when they have a bad day, they’ll be able to resist all sorts of temptations. Not me! I’d eat half a tub of ice cream to make myself feel better!

😎 HEALTHY COPING MECHANISMS
We all stand to benefit from developing some healthy strategies to manage stress and cope with the various challenges life throws at us.
Here are a few examples of the healthy coping mechanisms you can try:

Mindfulness meditation is a great way to reduce stress and manage anxiety because its goal is to focus on the present moment. If you’re full of regret about the past or obsessively worrying about the future, try mindfulness. It uses an anchor – such as the breath – to bring you to the present moment and give you a sense of peace.

I know from first-hand experience just how powerful exercise can be when it comes to reducing my stress levels and improving my mood. I guess it must be something to do with all those endorphins we release. And the best part is that anyone can do it!

Listen up: There’s no shame in asking for help from friends and family members, or even support groups and therapists. If you need help dealing with certain emotions, reach out to someone.

Did you know that journaling can be therapeutic? A lot of emotionally stable people like to write down their thoughts and experiences as a way to process their emotions, gain clarity, and let go of any negative feelings. Why not give it a try?

Another way emotionally stable people manage stress and deal with adversity is by engaging in various activities that relax them and bring them joy – this could be anything from painting to cooking to gardening to playing a musical instrument. Personally, I like to go for long walks with my dogs or tend to my plants.

Be kind to yourself, practice self-compassion, and avoid self-judgment. None of us is perfect.

9) ABILITY & WILLINGNESS TO FORGIVE
Do you know who resentment, anger, and negative emotions hurt the most? The person who is hanging onto those feelings – not the person they’re intended for!

Holding onto these negative feelings can be emotionally draining and quite harmful to one’s well-being.
That’s why we should all take a page out of an emotionally stable person’s book and learn to forgive and let go.
Trust me, forgiveness is the way to achieve greater emotional stability and inner peace.

10) EMPATHY
Emotionally stable people are known for having a strong sense of empathy, probably as a result of their self-awareness and emotional intelligence.
This is a great trait to have because it allows them to build strong and meaningful connections with other people.
And guess what.
They’re usually the ones people turn to when they need someone to listen, a shoulder to cry on, or simply someone to comfort them.
Basically, they make others feel safe, understood, and validated.

09/18/2023

What is anxiety, anyway???

Anxiety disorder is the most common mental health condition in the United States, affecting nearly 30% of adults at some point in their lives, according to the American Psychiatric Association. Under this general umbrella, there are a variety of conditions that can create serious obstructions in daily life. Anxiety disorders include:
• Phobias (including agoraphobia)
• Social anxiety
• Panic attacks
• Generalized anxiety disorder

Left untreated, anxiety disorders can lead to a host of other issues, including:
• difficulty concentrating
• sleep disturbances
• depression
• substance abuse
• suicidal thoughts
They can also increase the risk of physical ailments like common colds.
We all have worries from time to time—they’re a normal part of life. Anxiousness is common, especially when we’re faced with stressful situations like a first date or a job interview. Anxiety disorders, though, can be more debilitating with physical symptoms such as dizziness, headaches, nausea, fatigue, trembling, or a racing heartbeat. These can interfere with everyday tasks and make typical environments—work, school, or family life—feel difficult to cope with.

Like with many mental health conditions, anxiety symptoms may occur as a byproduct of nature or nurture or both. More than 30% of anxiety disorder patients show a genetic link. Upbringing can also factor in—as a result of childhood trauma, for example, or growing up with overly controlling parents. And there are many other risk factors that can arise throughout life, such as a traumatic brain injury, substance abuse, or a hormonal imbalance, to name a few.

When it comes to excessive anxiety, it’s a good idea to seek treatment. Natural solutions like meditation, mindfulness, a healthy diet, exercise, and supplements can be especially helpful. But for those of us who experience manageable levels of anxiety, here’s a radical thought: Be thankful for it—it’s actually helping to keep you alive!

EMBRACING HEALTHY ANXIETY
Recently, Neels Visser, a young entrepreneur, appeared in an episode of Scan My Brain with Dr. Emina. Visser was seeking a brain SPECT scan specifically to understand his own symptoms of anxiety and stress. “It kind of circulates in my brain daily, and I wanted to find better ways to manage it and understand it,” he told Dr. Emina. “Over the past 6 years, I’ve had a very unique lifestyle, where I’ve pretty much lived on airplanes every 4 to 5 days, and that has created a disbalance.”
While most of us aren’t stressed out about jet-setting around the world, many Americans can relate to Visser’s feelings of anxiety, which he described as “a negative feedback loop” playing in his brain. But when Dr. Emina asked if there are any benefits to the loop, Visser admitted that it can aid him in preparing for life, such as by helping him avoid mistakes he’s made in the past.

Dr. Emina briefly described how neurophysiology works in that way. “We have a thought pattern that eventually leads to an emotion, eventually leads to behaviors and repetition…and just like any other habit that we form, good or bad, you can strengthen them,” he said. “There may be good things about being able to overthink about a situation—that allows you to prepare for something. The challenge is usually when you get to a situation where you feel like you can’t improve, or you can’t fix.”
Looking at Visser’s brain scan, Dr. Emina noted a lot of activity in the emotional brain, or the basal ganglia, which acts as the pleasure reward center and assists with fine motor movement. In addition, high activity in the caudate, which helps set anxiety levels, validated Visser’s reports of increased anxiety.
According to Dr. Emina, however, the extra brain activity here can turn into a positive when channeled into a productive activity. He suggests playing a musical instrument, doing calligraphy, or other hobbies that involve fine motor skills.

“We actually need anxiety,” Dr. Emina concluded. “Everybody thinks that anxiety is a bad thing, but you’re not supposed to try to completely avoid all anxiety. You’re supposed to see it as your brain is trying to tell you something.”
He says he gets concerned when people’s anxiety levels dip too low. Whether it’s due to taking anti-anxiety medications or from things like smoking w**d or drinking alcohol, it can be a problem. When anxiety drops too low, it will eventually impact motivation.

THE BENEFITS OF HEALTH ANXIETY
As Dr. Emina noted, anxiety is not always an evil to be erased at all costs. Instead, we should be aware of the many ways it helps us in life. We’ve all heard phrases like “Don’t worry, be happy.” People who adopt this attitude, however, are more likely to die early from things like accidents or preventable illnesses.

Many people who come to Amen Clinics are surprised that it isn’t beneficial to eliminate all traces of anxiety. Without some level of worry, what would stop us all from making careless and downright dangerous choices, like driving too fast, eating junk food, or indulging in harmful drugs? In essence, a healthy dose of anxiety keeps us alive. We become more responsible citizens who exercise a fair amount of caution and conscientiousness.

Ultimately, the people who have some anxiety are living more consistent, longer, healthier lives. They avoid making potentially tragic mistakes. And like Visser, they’re better prepared for life’s demands. They’re showing up ready for a job interview, a test in school, or a challenging work assignment.
That enhanced mental preparation then works to lower anxiety levels because we’re better equipped to meet the situation and perform accordingly.
On the other hand, the various opposites of anxiety can easily lead to more serious issues:
• Mass denial exists among people who don’t want to face our skyrocketing obesity and diabetes rates. A healthy dose of anxiety would drive more people to action in preventing these issues.

• Too-low anxiety levels can cause people to underestimate the risks of their behavior, leading to bad decisions.

• Positive thinking can allow people to indulge in bad habits, ignore major red flags in key relationships, or fail to prepare for the future. When we insist, “Everything will be OK,” we can actually overlook important warning signs instead of addressing them head-on. Or we may bury emotions rather than process them in a healthy way.
Many people who visit Amen Clinics are surprised to hear that anxiety can help us, but they’re also relieved to know that their worries aren’t always working against them. Instead, try a dose of realism (versus blind optimism), and find healthy outlets for relieving stress. Rather than fearing anxiety’s effects, you can learn to embrace the many ways it can improve and lengthen your life.

From a favorite post..."Barking Up The Wrong Tree" by Eric Barker...
09/05/2023

From a favorite post..."Barking Up The Wrong Tree" by Eric Barker...

Want to get the best sleep of your life? Science has answers for how we can get more and better shut eye. Here's what you need to know...

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State Of Kansas/Teletherapy
Holton, KS
66436

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Wednesday 10am - 7pm
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+17858514343

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