Angel In Hawaii

02/07/2026

And I feel so much safer.

02/07/2026

Chanel I love you so much !!!!

01/14/2026

Enough is enough!

01/13/2026

Finally not fearful to truly connect to Jesus.

01/10/2026

Why Narcissistic Parents Turn Siblings Against Each Other — and Call It “Family Dynamics”.

You grew up feeling strangely tense around your sibling —
even when nothing was “wrong” —
that wasn’t imagination.

Being close felt risky,
Sharing too much always seemed to backfire,
Every moment of alignment was followed by guilt, distance, or fallout —
your body was picking up on something real.

What gets called sibling rivalry is often something else entirely.

Not random.
Not personality clashes.
Not “kids being kids.”

It’s deliberate separation.

Here’s the part most people never get language for:

Narcissistic parents don’t fear conflict between siblings.
They fear connection.

Because safety between siblings creates trust.
And trust creates comparison.
And comparison exposes patterns.

And patterns threaten a parent who needs to control the story.

So closeness was quietly disrupted.

Not with rules.
With atmosphere.

A look.
A comment dropped casually.
A sigh after you bonded.
A shift in mood when you agreed with each other.

Not loudly.
Not obviously.
Just enough to keep everyone uncertain.

Different standards.
Different stories.
Different versions of the same event.

One child praised for being “easy.”
Another framed as “difficult.”
One positioned as capable.
One positioned as the problem.

Not because the children were different —
but because the system needed roles, not people.

This is how separation is maintained.
Praise is selective.
Affection is conditional.
Information is filtered.

What one child hears, the other never does.

“You’re the only one I can talk to.”
“They’ve always been sensitive.”
“I don’t know what’s wrong with them.”

Over time, siblings stop relating to each other.

They relate through the parent.

That’s the mechanism.

The parent becomes the interpreter.
The narrator.
The emotional authority.

And the children become competitors for safety, approval, and belonging.

From a nervous system standpoint, this is destabilising.

Children are wired to regulate through peers — especially siblings.
But in this system, alignment is punished subtly.

Sharing creates trouble.
Empathy creates comparison.
Agreement creates withdrawal.

So each child adapts alone.

Here’s what creates the lifelong confusion:

Each sibling grows up with a different parent.

One gets warmth.
One gets control disguised as care.
One gets charm.
One gets contempt.
One gets silence.

So when adulthood arrives and the siblings finally talk —
your memories don’t match.

And the system depends on that mismatch.
Because disagreement keeps the narrative intact.

“If you can’t even agree, how bad could it really have been?”

But here’s the dividing truth that most people never here:
If your sibling doesn’t see what you see,
it doesn’t mean you imagined it.

It means they survived by holding a different position.
Awareness itself became the dividing line.

The one who noticed the pattern
became the problem.

Too sensitive.
Too negative.
Too divisive.

The one who stayed loyal
was rewarded with proximity and protection.

That wasn’t chance.
It was maintenance.
Not because of who you were —
but because of what was needed in that moment.

This is why sibling relationships often feel strained, distant, or unresolved years later.

Not because there’s no love —
but because trust was never allowed to form cleanly.

Every interaction was filtered.
Every repair interrupted.
Every conflict amplified.

And here’s the stabilising truth that restores orientation:

You were never meant to compete with your sibling.
You were meant to be kept separate from them.

That separation served someone else — not you.

Healing doesn’t always mean reconciliation.
Sometimes it means understanding why connection was made impossible without self-betrayal.

You’re allowed to grieve the bond you were denied.
You’re allowed to stop explaining yourself to someone still inside the system.
You’re allowed to step out of triangulation without dragging anyone else with you.

Because the real problem was never sibling conflict.

It was a parent who could not tolerate horizontal bonds that might expose vertical power.

Once you see that, the confusion loosens.

Shame dissolves.
Comparison loses its grip.
The story rearranges itself correctly.

You stop asking,
Why didn’t they protect me?
And start understanding,
Why they couldn’t — and why it was never your job to convince them.

You weren’t divisive.
You were destabilising
to a system that required separation to survive.

And stepping out of that system — even if it costs you people you love —
is not betrayal.

It’s the first act of loyalty to yourself.

The family didn’t fall apart because you saw the truth.
It was already fractured.

You just stopped pretending the cracks weren’t there.

01/09/2026