Life Weavings

04/03/2026

Part 3 of my online class on anger, exploring how relationships are at the heart of of everything we do. To work through your anger better, this foundational reality needs to be explored.

Ongoing weekly lessons included in all paid subscriptions.

From class:

“We are like the company we keep,” is more than just philosophical observance or parental admonishment, it is the central fact of our lives. While there is much to be said about ignoring once cherished ethical concerns or ideological positions when maintaining a relationship, we would do well to remember that who we are requires relationships to be known. There is much we are capable of doing that we are unaware of simply because a relational dynamic has yet to emerge that would allow the space for that particular behavior to manifest.

Watch now | Accepting Your Anger module 3

03/29/2026

"Unfortunately, because consciousness is so central to our lives, and frankly, the case could be made that it really is the only thing we ever actually do experience, we take it for granted even as we also give it entirely too much power. We take it for granted by not appreciating the opportunity cost that each thought has, and, especially, what the level of cost is when we preoccupy ourselves with particular thoughts. There were several ways to express that last sentence, but I like the word “preoccupy” because that is what we are often blindly doing with our attention, front-loading the occupation of our mind, pre-selecting how we are going to spend our time, and therefore cutting ourselves off from the myriad of other possibilities that exist."

Outrage only changes you and not for the good

03/21/2026

A common observation suggests that the stronger a person’s spiritual background, the greater the chance that the person will report intense religious experiences and undergo conversion (Clark, 1929; Coe, 1900). Frequency of church attendance, knowledge of one’s faith, importance of religious beliefs, and the persistence of religious ideas over many decades are correlates of early religious socialization (McGuire, 1992; Shand, 1990). In other words, the more conservatively religious or orthodox the home and family in which a person was reared, the greater the person’s likelihood of using religious attributions later in life.

Hood Jr. PhD, Ralph W.; Hill PhD, Peter C.; Spilka PhD, Bernard. The Psychology of Religion: An Empirical Approach (p. 26). (Function). Kindle Edition.

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DT: This observational information is often used as a “gotcha” by many secular non-believers critical of religious ideology. Using it this way betrays the person’s tendency to ignore science in favor of their need to chastise the “other” side. Because there is no other here. If you ever think your likelihood of thinking a thing is somehow divorced from your upbringing and historical experiences, then the level of delusion is greater than that being ascribed to the believer. Your ideas are never separate from the social milieu in which you grew up, the ongoing experiences you’ve had since, and the current incentives provided by the groups you currently reside within. Rather than a gotcha moment, it should encourage a humble recognition that there but for the grace of socio-biology go I.

02/23/2026

"Seeing ourselves through an evolutionary origin does not lead to an easy or simplistic view of human nature. We must give up a narrow single-variable causation and embrace an integral model, recognizing that as perspective shifts what was once a cause can be an effect of something else at the same time."

Celebrating Naturalism or Limiting Ourselves through Dogma

02/18/2026

"Let’s view cognition through the analogy of baking cookies, with the need for specific ingredients for a particular outcome. For our first ingredient, consider the basic essential biological need of all organisms to direct limited resources towards goals. Now, add being in social environments, whereby those limited resources are organized, provided meaning or importance, and everyone in those environments is jostling for those same limited resources. Lastly, we’re creatures that, like all organisms, take the path of least resistance."

And yes this is a rational thing to do

02/18/2026

A reminder that when people, often therapists or psych professionals who really should know better, start talking "System 1" and "System 2" in the sense of the image below as two separate things, they in fact are not actually understanding Kahneman at all, and are simply perpetuating the non-biological nonsense of emotion being distinct from reason.

It's an unfortunate use of the term "system" when really it's one system, appraisal, that has two general processes within the whole. Much of your "reason" is very much unconscious, since you don't ever choose the thoughts you have, and to call one "slow" is only in comparison to "automatic." What takes effort is not reason, but the social process of criticism and evaluation using various tools.

From Kahneman:

"System 1 and System 2 are so central to the story I tell in this book that I must make it absolutely clear that they are fictitious characters. Systems 1 and 2 are not systems in the standard sense of entities with interacting aspects or parts. And there is no one part of the brain that either of the systems would call home."

Kahneman, Daniel. Thinking, Fast and Slow (p. 29).

12/03/2025

Highly recommend this book. Stewart-Williams is a great writer and I’ve deeply appreciated following and reading his material on Substack. Want to nerd out on evolutionary role in cultural development, this will be sure to make you uncomfortable in a good way.

The Ape that Understood the Universe is the story of the strangest animal in the world: the human animal. It opens with a question: How would an alien scientist view our species? What would it make of our s*x differences, our s*xual behavior, our altruistic tendencies, and our culture? The book t...

11/28/2025

Let’s kick of my first Substack live Q/A this Sunday the 30th. I’ve always enjoyed hanging out with people after online presentations answering questions on all things related to psychology, religion, and philosophy, or if I’m looking to get into trouble, politics. So here we go. Open to all subscribers.

https://open.substack.com/live-stream/83077?r=v5x29&utm_medium=ios

11/12/2025

In this conversation, SC Nealy and I discuss the impact of beliefs and oppressive systems on the creation of trauma, emphasizing the need for healthier approaches to spirituality and community involvement. We discuss their work in the LGBTQ+ community, with their dedication to the intersection of mental health and social involvement, where the role of the therapist doesn’t just exist in the therapeutic space, but extends into advocacy for civil rights and support for minorities. Rather than promoting a binary choice of religious or secularism, we discuss the need for resources that support individuals who choose to remain within religious and/or spiritual communities while avoiding harmful ideologies.

https://open.substack.com/pub/lifeweavings/p/navigating-spirituality-without-harm?r=v5x29&utm_medium=ios

11/11/2025

"Embrace the new relationship. That starts with acknowledging that the only person you have to answer to is you. This doesn’t mean morality doesn’t exist, as the old canard concerning atheists and what’s keeping them from murdering people ridiculously attempts to show. No, what centering ethics within the human does is highlight our responsibility in service of values like integrity, self-reflection, and skepticism, among so many others."

A human beginning to ethics rather than a divine

11/10/2025

To help people in the midst of insurance price absurdities, I'm now offering my online classes for only $10. Currently there's a class for working through anger and another on humanistic principles to explore when leaving authoritarian religion. The first of a set of classes on communication principles will be coming shortly.

These are fully online, with presentations, worksheets and behavioral change principles for your personal development.

https://life-weavings.thinkific.com/

10/29/2025

We discuss the importance of allowing children to express themselves through costumes, the need for curiosity in parenting, and the value of setting boundaries in relationships. We also touch on the evolution of family traditions and the necessity of reevaluating what works for families as they grow and change. Ultimately, we encourage people to embrace change, explore new experiences, and prioritize authenticity in their lives.

https://open.substack.com/pub/lifeweavings/p/exploring-identity-in-the-spirit?r=v5x29&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

Evolving parenting traditions