Dialectical Behavior Therapies Center

03/12/2026

About Grip
You're not too much. You're just holding on too tight.
If you've ever been told you're too rigid, too serious, or too hard on yourself — welcome. You're in the right place.
Grip is a weekly newsletter for high achievers who over-control themselves. The perfectionists. The over-thinkers. The people who can manage a crisis at work but can't let a small mistake go for three days.

AND the people who so worry about their performance that they stay stuck and frozen and can't get going.

Each issue is short and leaves you with one small, practical thing to try. Not a 12-step program. Not a habit overhaul. Just one thing to help you hold life a little more lightly.

Who writes this
I'm Karyn Hall, a psychologist based in Houston, Texas (and on beaches everywhere I can manage it).
I'm one of only three certified RO DBT therapists in the United States. RO DBT, Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy, a treatment specifically developed for over-controlled people, and it's the framework that runs through everything I write here. I'm also the author of Radically Open DBT for Eating Disorders, and I'm working on other RO DBT based books, so this isn't a sideline interest. I

I also know this territory personally. I'm not writing from a place of having figured it all out. I'm still on the journey, still catching myself gripping too hard, still practicing what I write about. That's part of why I started this.

Working with high-achieving clients over the years, I kept seeing the same thing: people who were exceptionally capable and genuinely exhausted. Not because they weren't trying hard enough, but because they were trying too hard, at everything, all the time.
They didn't need more discipline. They needed permission to ease up.

Every week, Grip lands in your inbox with:

One honest observation: a moment or pattern you'll immediately recognise
The insight behind it, what the psychology actually says, without the watered-down self-help version
One small practice, something real you can try this week

That's it. Short, honest, useful.

Grip is for you if:

You hold yourself to standards you'd never apply to anyone else
You find it hard to delegate, because no one will do it quite right
You replay conversations, decisions, and mistakes long after everyone else has moved on
You're high-functioning on the outside and quietly exhausted on the inside
You've tried to "just relax" and found that advice completely unhelpful

Free to read
Grip is free. Subscribe below and you'll get every issue straight to your inbox.

If it helps, tell someone else who might need it. That's the best way to grow this. Thanks for your help.
— Karyn
Houston, TX + beaches TBD

Psychologist & 1 of 3 certified RO DBT supervisors in the US. Author of Radically Open DBT for Eating Disorders. GRIP is weekly tools for high achievers who hold on too tight, perfectionistic, like me. Houston + beaches. Click to read GRIP on Substack. Launched 4 days ago.

02/09/2026

You see injustice. You want to help. I do too. But how do you decide if speaking up in any certain situation is the right action for you to take?

Speaking up could cost dearly, such as your job, your safety, important relationships, or your mental health. This tension is real, and pretending it isn't helps no one.

The truth about advocacy: It's not all-or-nothing. You don't have to sacrifice all to make a difference. You can make a difference and use your wise mind to do so.

Inner balance means knowing when to use your voice and when protecting yourself is the right choice. Both can be acts of integrity.

Some signs you might need to prioritize safety (yours may be different):

Speaking up would put you in physical danger
You're in a financially vulnerable position and could lose your livelihood
Speaking up would cause you undue stress and significant harm to your mental wellbeing.
You lack the support system to handle the fallout
The power imbalance is too extreme to create real change right now

This doesn't make you a coward. Survival is valid. Protecting yourself is wisdom, not weakness.

Ways to advocate while protecting yourself:

Support others who are in safer positions to speak up
Donate money or resources if you can't donate time or visibility
Make changes in your personal sphere of influence
Document what you witness for when you're in a safer position
Educate yourself so you're ready when the right moment comes
Practice small acts of resistance that don't expose you
Build community with others who share your values

Questions to guide you:

What are the real risks of speaking up in this situation? (Be specific)
What support do I have if things go wrong?

Practice this:
Before acting, pause and ask: "Am I advocating from a place of genuine conviction, or from guilt?" Guilt tends to lead to reckless choices. Conviction makes strategic ones.

Journal prompts:
Where do I feel guilty for not doing more? Is that guilt fair, or am I holding myself to impossible standards?

What forms of advocacy feel sustainable for me right now, given my real circumstances?

Have I confused "being safe" with "not caring"? How can I honor both my limits and my values?

What would advocacy look like if I removed the pressure to be perfect or heroic?

Who in my life, if anyone, is actually expecting me to sacrifice my safety? Is their expectation reasonable?

What can I control in my immediate environment, even if I can't change the bigger system?

You can care deeply and still choose yourself too. You can work for justice without destroying your own foundation. You can take breaks without abandoning the cause.

Your safety matters. Your boundaries matter. And yes, your values matter too. Finding balance between them isn't selfish. It's sustainable and wise..

02/07/2026

01/27/2026

The overcontrolled temperament style means having TOO MUCH self-control, leading to rigidity that impacts relationships and well-being.

People with overcontrolled traits are highly rule-governed, perfectionistic, and inhibited. They value control, predictability, and "doing things right" above almost everything else.

The rigid rulebook:

Black-and-white thinking: "There's a right way and a wrong way"
High standards for self AND others
Difficulty being spontaneous or flexible
Strong need for fairness and justice
Emotions are controlled or suppressed

The hidden cost:
This rigidity can lead to:

Chronic loneliness and social isolation
Difficulty forming close relationships
Resentment when others "break the rules"
Anxiety and depression
All-or-nothing approaches to life

Why it happens:
OC temperament often develops as a protective strategy as a way to keep you safe. But over time, the rules that protected you become walls that isolate you.

RO-DBT (Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy) specifically targets overcontrol, helping you find flexibility, openness, and connection.

You don't have to loosen ALL the rules—just enough to let life (and people) in.

At the DBT Center of Houston, we offer RO DBT virtual therapy throughout Texas.
www.houstondbtcenter.com

01/22/2026

here's a unique tension many of us feel but rarely name: the pull between cultivating new connections and nurturing the relationships we've already built. Both feel important. Both require energy, time, and emotional investment. Yet somehow, attending to one often feels like neglecting the other.
If you've ever felt guilty about not texting back an old friend because you were busy with new ones or conversely, felt stuck in the same social circles while yearning for fresh perspectives, you're experiencing a fundamental challenge of relationships. The question isn't whether to choose new or old, but how to honor both without losing yourself in the process.

When we lean too heavily toward new connections, we risk always being in the exciting discovery phase but never building the depth that comes with time. Our old friends may feel abandoned or taken for granted, and we lose the comfort of being fully known.
But when we cling exclusively to existing relationships, it can get stale. We miss out on the growth that comes from new views, the energy of fresh ways of interacting, and the reminder that we're still capable of forming meaningful bonds. Our world can become an echo chamber, comfortable but restricted.

True inner balance means recognizing that both new and old relationships serve different but equally valuable purposes in our lives.

Before you can balance anything, you need to know what you're working with.
Your social energy is finite. This isn't a character flaw; it's a reality. Introverts and extroverts alike have limits. Some people recharge through connection; others deplete their reserves. Neither is better, but both require honest self-assessment.
Ask yourself:

How many meaningful relationships can I actively maintain right now?
What does "maintenance" actually look like for me. Is it weekly calls, monthly coffee dates, occasional check-ins?
Am I currently overextended, or do I have capacity for more?

There's no right number. Someone managing a demanding career and young children might have bandwidth for 3 close friendships and a few acquaintances.

What's right for you? Do you need more connections? Are you overextended?

More to come.

01/11/2026

We are looking for a dedicated, highly skilled clinician (LCSW, LPC, PsyD) to join our team at the DBT Center . The position is long term contract, and involves both telehealth and in-person services, but mainly in-person. The Center provides primarily Dialectical Behavior Therapy and Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy for teens and adults. Training in DBT preferred. Trauma training and training in eating disorders and somatic experiencing is a plus.

Excellent interpersonal skills, high degree of professionalism, and dedication to quality services for clients required.
No phone calls please. Hourly, rate or salary dependent on degree, experience and training.

Responsibilities
- Conduct individual and group therapy sessions using a variety of therapeutic techniques such as ACT, DBT, RODBT, somatic therapies, behavioral therapy, and cognitive behavioral therapy.
- Assess patients' mental health needs and develop personalized treatment plans in a collaborative way
- Maintain accurate and confidential patient records following HIPAA guidelines.
- Collaborate with other healthcare professionals to provide comprehensive care to patients.
- Stay current on best practices in mental health counseling and therapy techniques.
- Provide crisis intervention and coaching to patients in need

-Attend team meetings

-General responsibilities of a private practice clinician

If you think you are a good fit, our team would enjoy talking with you!

Please send resume to Administration@DBTcenterhouston.com

12/29/2025

The start of a new year often comes with a push toward resolutions or a reaction against doing so. After all how often are resolutions kept? But still there is a push to go faster, do more, and keep moving.

Momentum can feel exciting and motivating but without rest it can turn into exhaustion, burnout, or shame when we can’t keep up.

Inner balance isn’t choosing momentum or rest.It’s learning when to move and when to pause.

Momentum helps us build confidence, and follow through on intentions. Small, consistent steps can increase motivation and hope. Rest allows the nervous system to recover, emotions to settle, and insight to emerge. Without rest, momentum becomes unsustainable.

Growth requires recovery. Progress does not happen in a straight line. It happens in waves. Down time is part of the wave of growth, not a failure. I'm valuing rest this year.

Signs you may be out of balance
You feel guilty resting or slowing down
You push through exhaustion to “stay on track”
You avoid starting because you feel too tired
You confuse rest with failure or lack of discipline

Rest is not quitting.
Rest is regulation.

Finding inner balance :
Think in seasons, not sprints: Some periods are for building; others are for restoring.
Use rest strategically: Rest helps momentum last longer, it doesn’t erase it.
Let your body be data: Fatigue, irritability, and numbness are signals, not weaknesses.
Redefine productivity: Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is pause.
Listen to your internal cues, honoring limits, and choosing effectiveness over urgency.

Journal prompts for reflection
What does momentum look like when it’s healthy for me?
How do I know when my body or mind needs rest?
Where have I confused rest with falling behind?
What would sustainable progress look like this year?
A gentle reframe for the new year
You don’t need to earn rest.
You don’t need constant momentum to be moving forward.
You are allowed to pause and still be on your path.

That is inner balance. It includes both movement and rest.

12/16/2025

If you live with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), emotions may feel intense, fast, and overwhelming.

It’s not just feeling deeply—
it’s when one emotion crowds out all the others, making it hard to feel anything else in that moment.

You might feel:
• Angry and unable to access love
• Hurt and unable to remember safety
• Afraid and unable to feel hope

This isn’t a personal failure.
It’s how the nervous system responds when emotions feel threatening or out of control.
Many people can hold mixed emotions at the same time—
sad and grateful
angry and caring
For someone with BPD, emotions can feel all-or-nothing instead.
That’s where Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) can help.
DBT teaches skills to hold two things at once:
✨ “I’m hurt and I still care.”
✨ “This is painful and I can handle it.”
✨ “I need support and I’m learning independence.”
With practice, emotions don’t disappear—
they become less overpowering, making room for balance, choice, and connection.

Emotional balance is a skill.
Skills can be learned.

If intense emotions are affecting your relationships or daily life, support can help.

Reach out to learn more about DBT therapy or to schedule a consultation.
You don’t have to navigate this alone.
713-973-2800 or administration@dbtcenter.com

Center of Houston

12/16/2025

The holiday season often brings both light and heaviness. While there is celebration, connection, and joy, there is also grief, loneliness, financial stress, illness, and loss. Inner balance doesn’t require choosing one over the other. It asks us to hold both.
Compassion for the pain of others and ourselves keeps us human, connected, and empathetic. Allowing ourselves joy sustains our nervous system, replenishes emotional energy, and prevents burnout.
Both are essential—especially during the holidays.

If we over-identify with suffering, we can become emotionally depleted, overwhelmed, or numb. When we avoid pain entirely, joy can become shallow or disconnected. Research on emotional resilience shows that humans are most psychologically healthy when they can experience mixed emotions—sadness and gratitude, grief and joy—at the same time.

Signs you may be out of balance:
You feel guilty enjoying holiday moments because others are struggling
You take on others’ pain but neglect your own needs
You suppress sadness to “stay positive” or keep the mood light
You feel emotionally exhausted or disconnected from joy

To find inner balance during the holidays:
Practice “both/and” thinking: Someone can be hurting and you can experience joy.
Set emotional boundaries: Care deeply without carrying what isn’t yours to hold.
Let joy be restorative: Laughter, warmth, and celebration build resilience—not selfishness.
Offer compassion with limits: Presence matters more than over-giving.

Journal prompts for reflection:
Where do I feel pulled to carry more pain than is mine?
What small moments of joy help me feel grounded and present?
How can I honor others’ struggles while still allowing myself rest and pleasure?
What would compassionate boundaries look like this season?

A gentle reminder
You are allowed to feel joy even when the world is hurting.
You are allowed to rest even when others are struggling.
You are allowed to hold compassion without abandoning yourself.

That is inner balance.

11/18/2025

Are you someone who is always supporting others? Or are you usually protecting yourself and avoiding others?

Supporting others is a beautiful expression of love and kindness, yet constantly doing so can leave you tired and drained. Always protecting yourself can be lonely and tiring too.

Supporting others and protecting yourself don't need to be opposites but can be partners in compassion. The balance leads to contentment and being a contributor to our community of humans.

Both matter.

Acts of kindness and compassion, when in balance, can give you a sense of well‑being, improve your mood and self‑esteem, and even reduce stress. It may even be a calling for you. Helping others creates a sense of belonging and strengthens social connections and strengthens the community. Is your support of others meeting your values and building your connections or are you feeling imprisoned? If you are feeling imprisoned, it is out of balance for you.

Not allowing others to use you or control you with their needs is important for your well-being. Only you can know your balance between supporting others and protecting yourself. Everyone is different.

When you pay attention to how much you can support others and still protect your own needs, you build confidence, clarity and peace.
Giving beyond your means can lead to misery and exhaustion.

Ask whether you’re helping from genuine care or from guilt or obligation. Be kind in ways that feel good to you as well as benefit others. If your support of others isn't feeling consistent with your values and like a gift to you as well as the other person--reconsider your balance.
Journal prompts:
“When I support others, how does it make me feel?”
“Where do I need clearer boundaries to protect my wellbeing?”
“What is one small act of kindness I can do this week that also honours my own needs?”

Finding balance means pouring kindness into the world while refilling your own cup. Protecting yourself ensures your support for others remains healthy, joyful and sustainable.

11/18/2025

Do you ever feel like you are half living your life or living robotically from one task to another? Do. you hide who you really are?

We all carry invisible blocks that keep us from being our truest selves:

The voices telling us we're "too much" or "not enough" or that we're weird or unloveable.

Fear of judgment and what others might say that keeps us playing small. Fear of failure and fear of the unknown keep us locked in a cage too. We get stuck in old patterns learned from our childhood, from our culture and the world we know. Sometimes it fits and that's great. But sometimes it doesn't.

The exhausting masks we wear to fit in
didn't appear overnight—and they won't disappear that way either.

Therapy isn't about fixing what's broken. It's about uncovering who you've always been and who you are meant to be beneath the layers of expectations, trauma, and conditioning. It's a space where you can:
Explore the beliefs holding you back
Understand why you abandon yourself to please others
Learn to trust your own voice again Practice being authentic without apology

The world will always have opinions about who you should be. Therapy helps you remember who you truly are and gives you the tools to live from that place.
Your truest self is waiting. And you are worth the journey.

11/08/2025

Striking a balance between doing it all yourself and leaning on others is key to mental wellbeing. Independence empowers you to make decisions, pursue personal interests and take responsibility for your emotions. But trying to do life all on your own doesn't work very well.

Too much independence can lead to emotional distance, loneliness and perhaps resentment at the heavy load you carry.

However, too much dependence can erode your identity and create codependency. You may lose your sense of who you are and feel controlled. That can build resentment too.

Balance: A healthy relationship integrates individuality with collaboration—what relationship experts call interdependence. What your healthy interdependence looks like only you can know. It will be influenced by your culture and your values.

This dynamic recognizes that both partners/friends can thrive as a “we” while preserving personal identity.

How to cultivate balance:
Maintain your identity: Pursue your interests, own your opinions, and set personal goals outside of your relationships to the extent that works for you.
Ask for and offer support: If you tend to be hyper‑independent, practice asking for help or delegating tasks; trusting others broadens your perspective.

Take responsibility for yourself: If you lean on others too much, build self‑trust by making decisions, expanding your social circle and practicing self‑care

Communicate and set boundaries: Discuss your needs openly; healthy boundaries prevent suffocation and ensure both feel respected

Embrace interdependence: Celebrate mutual support, shared decisions and vulnerability while retaining your uniqueness--however that works best for you

Which way do you lean? Are you in balance for your own needs?
Journal prompts:
“When do I feel empowered by my independence? When does it feel lonely?”
“How does leaning on someone else support my growth? When might it hold me back?”
“What boundaries help me honour my needs while staying connected?”

Balance isn’t about choosing one over the other—it’s about integrating independence and interdependence so you can stand on your own and lean in when needed.