Marriage Minute

Marriage Minute Providing encouragement for couples; strengthening the core of marriages and stimulating growth. Strengthening the core of Marriages. Your pick. We are all human.
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Promoting Growth and Blossoming. Our Community Story

You are welcome to our community. We are an open, learning, and growing community with the intent of strengthening the core of marriages and stimulating their growth. We do this in an environment of respect for one another. This community is not a place to show off or gain popularity. The spirit of the house is a heart seeking to be blessed and be a blessing. None of us knows it all, or will ever know it all. We are all ever learning and growing, seeking to qualify, and standing to count. Started this page on September 14, 2014, and it has grown at an approximate rate of 30,000 likes/followers per year from inception to 2017. Not that growth is our primary focus, we are proud to be relevant and be a difference to a great many. If there is any topic on your mind, there is the likelihood we already treated it. You will find a wealth of materials here. Feel free to scroll through. Feel free to comment and join in the discussions. Some of the materials here are also being available on my blog,
https://www.uncleakin.com/search/label/Relationship
It might be easier to search for topics there than on Facebook. A blog search button is in the top right corner. Facebook also has a search button, if you know how to maneuver around it. We are here to serve in any and every way we can in achieving our above-stated objective. If it is a topic we have not treated or can find and is vital to you, let us know. And, we will work to close the gap. Even though you can always send me a personal message via my blog, the best place for individual and private counseling remains the chat room on this page. Feel free to come chat, if there is an issue you’ll instead want to address in a private, one-on-one environment. You can enter the chat room using the message icon on the page (top right-hand corner, I believe). Facebook secures the chat room. What happens in the chat room stays in the chat room except you want otherwise, or there is a criminal intent involved. The community is yours for as long as you see yourself as a member. Where is communion without the people that make it up? My place is facilitation and moderation. Having been married for more than 22 years and been counseling for close to thirty (30) years, I believe I have quite a bit to share. However, what I get to share or not is not a function of what I know or not. It is a function of what you want. You are the driving force of this community. I can only be in sync with where you are and try to take you to where we want to go. Don’t forget it is a dance. And, there is no dance without harmony; without synchronization of the different moves. Yes, some things are unchangeable. These include the sanctity of our communion, our vision, our values, and our beliefs. Every other thing is flexible. Never forget it is a dance. Let us make it a good dance. So, as members, you make this community what it is and has been. Its power and strength are in the participation and openness of everyone. What I have noticed is as we grew numerically, the open discussions and engagement have gone down, almost to no existence. A none participatory attitude does not have to be so. Or, is there something I am not doing right? Please, feel free to let me know. We can only get the best from this community by asking questions. You need to squeeze every juice out of me if only it will make your life and marriage better. There is a spiritual principle that limits me from being able to bless you otherwise. So, please help me. We don’t just want to carry a name. We want to do the work. The number is excellent and makes me proud and a thing to boast about, but that is not our reason for existence. Changed and impacted lives are our lifeblood, and bread and butter. That is the ONLY REASON WHY we are. IT IS OUR “WHY.” So, please connect and let us hand in hand, grow together. Yes, I did mention we grew at the rate of 30,000 per year from inception till 2017. So, what has happened since 2017? One, life happened to me. So, I was pretty much off the community, in a genuinely productive capacity, from 2018 till 2020. Life happens to us all. I guess with all I had written earlier, some probably think me a spirit. Yes, you are not far from the truth, either. We are all spirits having a human experience. We thereby also are fallible, at least, for the time of this experience. Life does not happen to keep us down. Life happens to re-fire us. How far back you pull the string of the bow is dependent on the arrow travel you want. Life happens to sharpen our focus. Life happens to shake away the things that can be shaken, and establish the things that cannot shake. And, if it does not kill us, it only makes us stronger. So, welcome to the second half of our journey of life. I know beyond the shadow of a doubt, it is going to be great. So, let us join hands in hands and do life together. Let us do marriage together. Let us do relationships together. Here is a toast to your better self, our better people, a better, growing, vibrant, life-giving, and changing community.

“It takes a community to sustain a marriage.” (Dr. Juli Slattery) May we be to you that community that makes a difference in your marriage. May we help define what normal is to you. May we provide accountability for you, a pricking of the conscience, and a pointer to what is true, right, and equitable. May we provide for you encouragement on your pilgrimage. So, help us, God.

No reason or need to be depressed. Everything is in a state of flux. The poor today is the rich tomorrow. The rich today...
03/17/2026

No reason or need to be depressed. Everything is in a state of flux. The poor today is the rich tomorrow. The rich today could be the poor tomorrow or richer still. Direction is more important than speed. You control your direction and your tangent. The rest is up to nature to bring it to pass in its own time and season. The beautiful ones are yet unborn.

"When you stop reacting and start observing, you instantly regain authorship over your life. You become the calm, intent...
03/15/2026

"When you stop reacting and start observing, you instantly regain authorship over your life. You become the calm, intentional center around which everything else finally organizes. And in a world that's constantly shouting for your attention, the quiet mind is the one that sees and wins clearly." ― Damian Madden.

One way to be responsive instead of reactive is first to feel what is going on, and then to label it—the latter being ev...
03/15/2026

One way to be responsive instead of reactive is first to feel what is going on, and then to label it—the latter being every bit as important as the former. It is the act of labeling that creates the space between stimulus and response. This is mindfulness. I do a sort of an "out of body disposition," where I see myself in the situation, without being influenced by the immediate emotions thereof.

"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given ...
03/15/2026

"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." ― Viktor Frankl. This con-people seek to take away from you. They creates a picture around you shouting you have no other choice, but the one they are proposing to you. The manipulate your circumstances and pose themselves as saviors. Unfortunately, they are found in the strangest places - in religion, business, families, etc. Like their father and mentor, the devil, they seek who they can devour. Life is shining your eyes and thinking through. Nothing is as it seems. 'Tis still legal to think. Think therefore, taking responsibility for your life, your present, and your future.

"The individual is the only one to decide about the meaning of their life and that the individual has to take responsibi...
03/15/2026

"The individual is the only one to decide about the meaning of their life and that the individual has to take responsibility for creating and deciding its unique meaning." ― Viktor Frankl. No one else or thing can determine for you what your life is about. Only you can. It dwells in the deep recess of who you are. What gives you meaning is not necessarily the same as what gives you comfort. This is where a lot fo people miss it. Our brain was designed to keep us safe and comfortable. Hence, it gravitates towards safety and comfort, but what gives us meaning might be risk and uncomfortable. It is what makes us come alive, stay up late at night, and wake up in the morning without necessarily tangible rewards, but always intangible satisfaction and benefits.

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies...
03/15/2026

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” ― Viktor Frankl. It is okay to delay a response. 'Tis no pride rnot ushing into any decision or response only to regret it there after. I have found wisdom in thinking through and only responding with and where my peace is. Once a response is given, it can never truly be taken back. It defines you, how others perceive you, and how they might choose to relate with you in the future. Take your time to think through, and after you are done, stick with your decision.

Responses build bridges; reactions often burn them. Responses step out of the frame to see the whole picture, and thus w...
03/15/2026

Responses build bridges; reactions often burn them. Responses step out of the frame to see the whole picture, and thus win the war, while reactions are lost in the frame trying to defend territories and win battles. Responses are about the end game, while reactions are about the immediate solution, which might be at the expense of the global solution.

“There are two primary Choices in Life: to accept conditions as they exist or accept the responsibility for changing the...
03/14/2026

“There are two primary Choices in Life: to accept conditions as they exist or accept the responsibility for changing them.” ― Denis Waitley. One will stagnate you. The other will elevate you. Irrespective, you remain the responsible party. That you cannot give to anyone else, circumstances, or thing.

“You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.” ― Abraham Lincoln. Tomorrow will come, irrespect...
03/14/2026

“You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.” ― Abraham Lincoln. Tomorrow will come, irrespective of what you do today. The questions include if you'll be a part of it or not, and who will you be in it, if you are a part of it. Tomorrow is a harvest fo the seeds we sow today. We choose our today, but cannot avoid the consequences of our choices. We are most powerful in our today, not our tomorrow, for our today determines our tomorrow.

The little things got me here. The little things will take me home. I will not take the little things for granted. They ...
03/13/2026

The little things got me here. The little things will take me home. I will not take the little things for granted. They are in fact the big things I am grateful for the little things.

“Man is nothing else but what he makes of himself.” ― Jean-Paul Sartre. We become who we are through our choices, values...
03/12/2026

“Man is nothing else but what he makes of himself.” ― Jean-Paul Sartre. We become who we are through our choices, values, and actions. Freedom is not just the absence of chains; it is the ongoing work of self-creation.

Individuals define their character through their actions, not predetermined traits. There is no inherent "coward" or "he...
03/12/2026

Individuals define their character through their actions, not predetermined traits. There is no inherent "coward" or "hero"; rather, people become one or the other based on the choices they make and the actions they take. The seeds are your thoughts, words, choices, and actions. These are the basic elements of every personality. To change, you'll have to change these. You are built from inside out, not from outside in. You become the person YOU want to be.

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