Stephanie A. Stevens, Inc.

02/21/2024

01/12/2023

12/12/2022

Let's change these unhealthy patterns.

11/01/2022

Let's learn about the stress cycle! 😎 (This is an updated version of a poster I shared in March 2020)



📎 Sources include Stephen Porges, Deb Dana, Pete Walker, Bessel van der Kolk, Stanley Rosenberg, Dr. Arielle Schwartz, and The Polyvagal Podcast

🤓 Learn more about the stress cycle at
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyppUSV1FN0

🤩 More infographics - linktr.ee/TraumaGeek

🧠 Printable versions of these graphics are available for professionals - TraumaGeek.com

💻 For research consultations or 1:1 education - Calendly.com/TraumaGeek

💚 This work is made possible by patron supporters - Patreon.com/TraumaGeek

08/26/2022

07/08/2022

Healing is non linear and the ways in which we understand and integrate our experiences is in a state of flux - evolving with parts of you that are growing and changing. Otherwise, we risk the chance of becoming fixed, attached and rigid which results in stagnation 🦋💕✨

11/16/2021

Here's a great list of words you can use to describe the positive characteristics you're seeing in your kids.

I don't think it needs to be thought of as praise, but rather that we're really seeing and getting who are kids are and their positive characteristics.

How would you feel if someone used words from this list to describe YOU when you were growing up?

List from "Catch the Fire: An Art-full Guide to Unleashing the Creative Power of Youth, Adults and Communities"
by Peggy Taylor & Charlie Murphy

11/16/2021

It's easy to jump in and try to reason with our kids when they don't handle something well or need to learn something. But we know some things about the brain here that can really help you to stay connected with your child AND help them learn better.

I talk about it using the Brain Stoplight metaphor.

First we need to Regulate. We need to connect and get out of the red light state (my language) or our survival brain.

Then we need to connect in the emotional space. "It makes sense why you reacted that way. I'm sorry. I didn't know you were having a hard time..." The point is to connect. This is the yellow light or the emotional brain. We need to speak to that next.

And then, and only then, are you and your child back to green light and can reason.

Regulate.
Relate.
Reason.

In that order.

This is how our brains work and how our children's brains work. Work with these ideas and see how it transforms your family's conflicts. Works for partners, too!

ETA: Image or information courtesy of Beacon House Therapeutic Services & Trauma Team | 2021 | www.beaconhouse.org.uk

11/12/2021

"John Gottman from the Gottman Institute has done extensive research regarding relationships and what makes them happy.

One of the more interesting findings is about the magic ratio. After examining couples and how they dealt with conflict, it seemed that happy couples for who love lasts show five positive interactions for each negative one.

[...]So, let’s say there is a conflict between a couple where one criticizes the other. Then, to resolve this conflict they can try positive interactions, which for example are showing empathy, apologizing, being affectionate, showing appreciation or interest."

Words and graphic by on Instagram.