Your Ever After: Death Doula

01/06/2025

08/23/2024

Talking about death and dying does not invite it closer to you. Death is not a secret.

02/13/2024

This is my greatest skill ... pivoting whether in a kitchen, a room of party guests, a nursing home or an elementary school.

01/28/2024

The Box

I have a small box tucked away in the back of my closet. In it are all the things I've saved over the years that were special to me. My grandmother's watch, my grandfather's driver's license, my father's high school ring, and love letters.

Its been over 8 years since I've opened the box. (And, I'm ashamed to say, cleaned out my closet!) I decided to stop procrastinating and get rid of some of the clothes and shoes I haven't worn in years.

And then I saw it...the box.

I wasn’t expecting the wind to be knocked out of me, or for the tears to fall. I wasn’t expecting to be affected much at all. I wasn’t expecting to spend an hour reading every saved letter. I wasn’t expecting to be transported back to that time in my life when everything made sense to me, and my heart wasn't broken yet.

I don’t know how many deep breaths I took as I opened each letter, or how many times I checked the dates on each one. How I stopped breathing completely when I found the invitation to our wedding.

It all came flooding back to me, but the thing that hit me the most reading the wedding invitation, was that we were both here. Alive, happy, and together.

It was then that I realized a piece of me got stored in this box with the other things. I put a part of myself away with all these memories because it was safer to hide there in the moments when we were together, than to live outside the box alone.

Here's the thing...I’m always asked when is a good time to go through these mementos we hold onto in life, and my answer is always the same, "only do it when you're ready, and maybe you'll never be ready."

The box reminded me how personal grief is, and how selfish. In my opinion it should be, because nobody can tell me they know how I feel. I know a lot of people can identify with it, but nobody really knows how it feels inside, just like I can’t really know how you feel deep in your heart.

I can tell you it’s okay to not be ready to go through their things, and it's okay to still think about them. It’s okay to still want them to be alive.

The box is just like my grief, I've held it close to me for a very long time, and sometimes I move it to create space around it for other things. I might not think about it for a while, but it's still always there.

On the days when I start to forget...I'll open the box, and I know the memories will come rushing back.

Gary Sturgis - "Surviving Grief"

01/22/2024

quietly until your heart speaks when the real emerges and you begin to speak I will wait on the shape that you choose and when your eyebrows elevate and your pupils dilate oh… I will wait for…

01/21/2024

Imagine if you authored your own life Exerting, initiating and moving on your own behalf who refuses to surrender except to your truest self and wisest voice there is a quiet power in that… M…

12/31/2023

Facts…✨

12/10/2023

🌟⭐️🌟 Of course nothing can take the place of having loved ones with you but it's important to know that, "𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘰𝘬𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘉𝘖𝘛𝘏 𝘨𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦 & 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺 & 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴, 𝘵𝘰𝘰." (-𝒥𝑜𝒽𝓃 𝒫𝑒𝓉𝑒) Those things can happen simultaneously & you can find ways to INCLUDE lost loved ones during holidays, which can work better than only grieving their absence.

💚❤️💚❤️💚

12/01/2023

Compassion

One place for sure that you will find the people who will be that understanding, supportive, and comforting friend are those who have also lost their child or children, sibling(s), or grandchild(ren. You can meet and connect with them through The Compassionate Friends. Whether they are face-to-face at a TCF Chapter Meeting or National Conference at a sharing session, virtually through TCF Facebook groups, Online Chats, or TCF Zoom Meetings, and other places. Your TCF friends are always there...we are here to help you cope, listen to, and care about your journey. You need not walk alone...we are The Compassionate Friends.

11/23/2023

𝑰𝒏 𝑯𝒐𝒏𝒐𝒓 & 𝑴𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒚 𝒐𝒇 𝑳𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝑶𝒏𝒆𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒔𝒈𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈