Mark Beck, LMHC, LPC

09/29/2025

I’ve been counseling couples and leading couples workshops for quite a few years now. Without a doubt, from my experience, Hold Me Tight®️ couples workshops are more powerful and bring faster real, lasting change than any other experience couples can share. My colleague, Vicki Kennedy and I lead them at least four times a year because we believe in Hold Me Tight®️ and we know what it can do. We’ve seen couples transform in just two short days.
Something is especially powerful about being in a group with other couples on the same journey, sometimes feeling equally stuck or overwhelmed, struggling with the same frustrating patterns, emotions, wishes and mistakes. Couples can empathize, encourage and understand one another at Hold Me Tight®️. Realizing that we’re not alone (and not as messed up as we think) is uniquely comforting.
But, the hardest part for most couples is probably just signing up, trying a new experience. And many things might get in the way: hectic schedules, tight budgets, uncertainty. Indeed, for couples who aren’t ready, any excuse will do. But, more than anything else, the most daunting thing for couples who want to come, who NEED to come to Hold Me Tight®️—is shame.
That might sound strange, but shame is behind the self-talk that says, “Nothing is wrong with our relationship. We’ve made it this far; we don’t need a couples workshop. We’re no worse than other couples. We can fix it on our own. My marriage is my business.” Our culture tells us that getting help (from whatever source) is admitting some kind of failure. It’s weakness.
It’s also hogwash.
When you update your phone, are you embarrassed that it needed it?
Do you feel ashamed to get your annual physical?
If your car starts running rough and you take it to the shop, do you feel like a failure?
I’m guessing not.
But, if your relationship—the most important relationship in the world to you—hasn’t been “tuned up” in years or is almost flatlining, something tells you to stick your head in the sand for fear of what others might think of you for seeking help.
That’s shame. It might look like denial or fear or just plain foolishness, but shame is underneath it all. And shame is poisonous. Shame paralyzes us. Shame tells us to hide…and shame is a lie.
If your relationship is in trouble. Or, if it simply is not what you want it to be or not what it used to be, it doesn’t have to stay that way…there is no shame in saying so. The only shame is in doing nothing to change it.
Theodore Roosevelt said, “In any situation, the best thing you can do is the right thing; the next best thing you can do is the wrong thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing.” And when it comes to your most precious relationship, the best you can do is Hold Me Tight®️. I believe that one hundred percent.
At Hold Me Tight®️ you will find a low key, safe place to learn about your relationship from the solid science of attachment. You’ll learn to understand what often makes no sense in your relationship…why you and your partner often repeat patterns (we call them cycles) of conflict and disconnection. You’ll learn to connect in ways you never knew you could. You’ll go at your own pace. No one is put on the spot. We never push you; but we do point you to a new, deeper, closer connection that can last a lifetime. It truly is a “no shame” zone.
Give Hold Me Tight®️ a chance. You’ll be glad you did. Our next workshop is in less than a month. And it’s in the magnificent Blue Ridge mountains of North Carolina at the even more magnificent Art of Living Retreat Center (www.aolrc.org) at the height of fall colors. It’s a venue not to be missed.
So…don’t miss it!
All the details (and other dates for future Hold Me Tight®️ workshops) are at www.hmtcouplesworkshops.com. Sign up today!

01/29/2025

🏈 Love Is a Team Game! 🌟 It's playoff season, and love is just as much a team effort as football! Discover how to tackle challenges together both on and off the field here: https://wix.to/Inoz8g9

If you’re a sports fan (specifically, football) this is your favorite time of year. The NFL playoffs showcase the best of the best and even for the non-fanatics out there, some important truths are evident. Football, like many other sports, is a team game. For sure, individual superstars shine, bu...

01/10/2025

Relationships can be tough, and sometimes comfort can feel uncomfortable. How do we navigate the complexities of intimacy? Discover insights in our latest blog post. Read more: https://wix.to/eZcFxPi

Intimate relationships are never easy and too many don’t survive. Courtrooms and counselors’ offices are full of couples who didn’t set out to destroy their love; it just looks as if they did. Maybe you’re one of those couples…trying to figure out how you went from newlywed to nearly dead....

11/13/2024

Check out my blog post https://wix.to/q4fjn48

07/23/2024

In a previous career, I was an over the road truck driver. I covered a lot of miles, coast to coast and one of my biggest fears was breaking down somewhere far from home and far from help (and this was before the days of cell phones and GPS). Even now, in the family car, that’s the last thing I’d want to happen on the highway. But, I’ve learned that cars (and other machines) very seldom just fail catastrophically without warning. Far more often, a car will tell you something is wrong, usually long before it leaves you stranded. A noise, a vibration, a smell or even a warning light are usually precursors to a breakdown. Alert drivers can usually catch the problem early on. And, with proper maintenance (oil changes, tune ups, etc.) they can even avoid many problems altogether.

Relationships are much the same. Relationships like marriage are built for the long run, built to last a lifetime. But, they require upkeep, regular attention and loving care. If you ignore “marriage maintenance,” eventually, signs of trouble will pop up…usually long before a catastrophic failure. As a marriage therapist, too often, by the time I see a couple, they’ve long ignored (or never even noticed) telltale warning signs.

So, what are some of those relationship warning signs?

Here are just a few. This list is not exhaustive, but be advised: don’t ignore them.

When friendship and playfulness in your relationship wear thin, pay attention. No relationship is fun all the time, but healthy couples are best friends. Laughter, fun and friendship should outweigh negativity—John Gottman says, by at least a 5:1 ratio—five times more positive than negative.

Criticism and blame are warning signs. Fault finding conversations quickly become confrontations that produce resentment and hurt. Couples that snipe, pick and “see the glass half empty” are in for long term trouble.

On the other hand, isolating, shutting down, disengaging and “stonewalling” are also danger signs. Couples who do that aren’t keeping the peace; they are pulling apart and they will eventually realize they don’t even know one another.
When your relationship becomes “transactional,” if you tend to keep score, trouble is brewing. Likewise, if you view even the neutral things your partner says or does negatively, that too is a problem.

Maybe you see one of more of those warning signs in your relationship. If so, don’t despair. Don’t throw in the towel. Your love isn’t doomed. You just need to change some things—and sooner is better than later.

That’s where Hold Me Tight®️ comes in. Hold Me Tight®️ is a great step in the right direction, whether you’re just beginning to see warning signs or your relationship is in real trouble. At Hold Me Tight®️ you’ll meet other couples facing the same hurdles and struggling with many of the same issues. You’ll find that you aren’t alone and you’ll learn to make sense of what so often doesn’t in love.

Hold Me Tight®️ is not therapy. It’s learning and practicing new ways of connecting with your partner. It’s about changing the old patterns that lead to trouble over the long run. After just two days together with your partner, you will leave with new skills and a new direction to help you last for the long run in love.

Our next Hold Me Tight®️ couples retreat in Orlando is next month. Check out www.couplesworkshopsofflorida.com for all the details.

So, watch for warning signs. And, if you’re wondering, what about the signs of a healthy relationship? What is proof of life in love? I’m glad you asked…that’ll be our next blog!

Looking for an affordable transformative couples retreat? Join us for a life-changing "Hold Me Tight"® weekend workshop. A Hold Me Tight® weekend workshop can make all the difference, regardless of where you are as a couple. Strengthen and renew your relationship through the groundbreaki...