Spence Counseling Alliance, PLLC

Spence Counseling Alliance, PLLC Contact information, map and directions, contact form, opening hours, services, ratings, photos, videos and announcements from Spence Counseling Alliance, PLLC, Mental Health Service, 640 NW Gilmand Boulevard, #101, Issaquah, WA.

Therapist for Gen X Women, Men, Teens
Done carrying the mental load & being the default person
Helping you drop guilt, resentment, and over-functioning

IG & TikTok:
⬇️ Free audio + resources
linktr.ee/loisspence

04/09/2026

I am officially retiring from the “What’s for dinner?” committee.

How many times have you looked at the clock, realized it’s 6:00 PM and felt that immediate spike of panic because no one else in the house seems to notice that humans need to eat?

For years, I lived by the unspoken rule: If I don’t figure it out, no one will.

But here is the truth: Their hunger js not your emergency.

When we constantly step in to save the evening, we aren’t just being helpful, we are reinforcing the idea that we are the only ones responsible for everyone’s basic survival. You are a person with your own needs and your own exhaustion, not a restaurant that never closes.

It’s time to trust that the other capable humans in your house can figure out a sandwich.

04/07/2026

Your anger isn't "bad", it’s a signal.

We’ve been conditioned to believe that being "difficult" is the worst thing a woman can be. So, when we feel rage, we try to breathe it away, calm it down, or hide it so we don't make anyone else uncomfortable.

But your anger isn't the problem. The problem is the boundaries that are being crossed every single day while you stay silent to keep the peace.

Your rage is actually the part of you that still loves you. It’s the part that is tired of being ignored and knows, deep down, that you deserve more than the crumbs of appreciation you’ve been living on.

Stop trying to silence the only part of you that is standing up for yourself. Instead of trying to "calm" the anger, try listening to it. What is it telling you to change?

Start with the free audio in my bio.
The Agreement I Didn’t Know I Signed 💙

04/03/2026

Being "low maintenance" isn't a virtue, it's a disappearing act.

We’ve been taught that having no needs makes us lovable. We learned early on that if we didn't take up too much space, we wouldn't be a burden.

But there is a massive cost: You cannot have a deep relationship with someone who only values you for your convenience. When you stop having needs, you stop being a partner and start being a service provider.

You spend your life auditioning for a spot in your own home, hoping that if you're helpful enough, you'll finally be seen.

It’s time to stop being the "easiest" person in the room. You are allowed to have needs. You are allowed to be "difficult" if it means being honest.

Do you pride yourself on being low maintenance? How has that actually cost you lately?

Ready to stop the audition and start taking up space? Grab the free reset audio: The Agreement I Didn’t Know I Signed. Link in bio 💙

03/30/2026

Over-functioning is a quiet thief.

From the outside, you look like the "responsible one" who has it all together. But inside, you are running on fumes.

You aren’t failing, you’re just exhausted from being the only structural support holding the ceiling up for everyone else. When you play the role of the constant safety net, you don’t just get tired, you become invisible.

It’s time to stop being the only one catching the balls before they drop. You are allowed to take up space without having to manage it.

What is one "responsibility" you are ready to put down today? 👇

Grab the free reset audio if you're ready to stop holding up the ceiling and start finding your own ground. 💙

03/28/2026

Competence is a double-edged sword.

We’re taught that being the "reliable one" is a badge of honor. You know where every lost shoe is, you manage the moods, and you catch every ball before it drops.

But here’s the trap: When you are flawless at handling it all, the people around you stop trying. Why would they? You’ve already done it.

Eventually, you aren't a partner anymore, you’re a safety net. And the more you handle, the more invisible you become. They stop seeing the effort because they’ve started to view your exhaustion as the baseline.

If you feel like you’re disappearing into the roles you play, it’s time to let a few balls drop. It’s time to be a person again, not a machine.

Where have you become "too competent" for your own good? Let’s name it below. 👇

Grab the free reset audio in my bio if you’re ready to stop being the human safety net. 💙

03/25/2026

You were never meant to be this pliable.

For years, you’ve molded yourself to fit everyone else’s needs. You reshaped your schedule, your opinions, and your energy until you fit perfectly into the spaces left for you.

Midlife is where the wheel stops spinning for everyone else.

Today, you are the potter.

You decide the shape of your days. You decide the pace. And you decide exactly who gets a seat at your table. This isn't about being "difficult", it’s about finally being defined.

03/23/2026

We’ve been taught that a "good woman" never gets angry.

We’re told to be the helpers, the nurturers, and the ones who "just handle it" with a smile. But there is a silent cost to being the person who always smooths things over.

When you override your own needs, your own time, and your own capacity to make life easier for everyone else, you are borrowing from your future self. Eventually, that bill comes due and it usually looks like a quiet, simmering rage that you don't know what to do with.

If you feel resentful today, I want you to hear this: That anger isn't a personality flaw. It’s a signal.

It’s your system telling you that an unspoken agreement needs to be broken. It’s the part of you that still remembers you matter, screaming for a boundary. You don't have to live in this cycle of "handling it" until you explode or shut down.

Does your "rage" feel like a sudden explosion, or a quiet, heavy resentment that sits in your chest?

Grab my free reset audio if you are ready to stop the cycle of over-functioning and start listening to what your system is trying to tell you. 💙

03/21/2026

Being "The Responsible One" is a full-time job you didn’t apply for.

If I had to guess, you’ve spent most of your life being the one who "just handles it."

The one who remembers the birthdays, anticipates the schedule shifts, and catches all the balls before they hit the floor. You aren't just tired; you are carrying the weight of roles that don't actually belong to you.

We often think that being responsible is our greatest strength, but when it’s used to avoid tension or manage other people's lives, it becomes our greatest burden.

Here is your permission slip for today:
You are allowed to stop carrying what isn’t yours. You are allowed to let a ball drop. You are allowed to be a person instead of a safety net.

When we stop over-functioning, we finally give the people around us the space to step up and we finally give ourselves the space to breathe.

03/18/2026

The "Perfect Woman" is a role we were cast in without our consent.

There is a huge difference between being a partner and auditioning for your own life.

For a long time, I thought that if I could just stay one step ahead of everyone’s needs, if I could manage the calendar, the moods, and the house flawlessly, I would finally earn the right to feel secure. I believed that if I performed well enough, I’d finally be "enough."

But that kind of perfectionism is just a survival strategy.

When you are auditioning, you are constantly "on." You are monitoring the room, scanning for approval, and smoothing over every rough edge before anyone else notices. The problem with a performance that never ends is that it eventually breaks the performer.

You aren't "just tired." You are exhausted from playing a role instead of being a person with your own needs and messy edges.

It’s time to stop the act. It’s time to step off the stage and see who you actually are when you aren't trying to earn your keep.

💬 Where in your life do you feel like you are "performing" the most right now? Is it at home, with friends, or with your extended family?

💙 If you are ready to stop the audition and start the awakening, I recorded a free reset audio to help you regulate your nervous system and step off the stage. Grab it in my bio.

03/16/2026

Burnout rarely happens because of one massive argument. It happens through slow, quiet erosion.

From the outside, your life probably looks like a highly capable, well-oiled machine. But on the inside, you are the one grinding your own gears to dust to keep it running.

If you feel like you are slowly disappearing into the background of your own life, you aren't crazy. That is exactly how these unspoken agreements are designed to work.

What is one small thing you "just handled" recently to keep the peace, but secretly wish you had addressed? Let’s talk about it below. 👇

P.S. If you are ready to stop being 'the one who carries' and start getting yourself back, I recorded a free restlet audio to help you take that first step.!l

🔗 Link in bio.

03/13/2026

This is one of the most uncomfortable, but necessary, truths we need to unpack.

We often resent being the "default" person in our homes. We are exhausted by being the only one who knows the schedule, finds the lost shoes, and manages the emotional weather of the house.

But the hard truth? We didn't get here by accident. We taught them we would handle it.

Every time we stepped in early to avoid a conflict, or said "I'll just do it myself" because it was faster, we were writing an invisible job description for ourselves. We thought we were being helpful and responsible. We didn't realize we were signing an agreement that would eventually disappear us.

If you are tired of carrying it all, the first step isn't getting them to change. It's changing what you are willing to carry.

What is one thing you are currently managing that you are officially resigning from this week? Let’s hear it below. 👇

🔗 Click the link in my bio to listen to my free reset audio: The Agreement I Didn’t Know I Signed

Address

640 NW Gilmand Boulevard, #101
Issaquah, WA
98027

Opening Hours

Monday 1pm - 6pm
Tuesday 9am - 6pm
Wednesday 1pm - 6pm
Thursday 9am - 6pm
Friday 9am - 12pm

Website

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