Arjan Makar Life and Relationship Coaching

02/20/2026

One of the great paradoxes of modern love is this:
How do we stay true to ourselves while also allowing ourselves to be deeply shaped by connection?

If we grip too tightly to our individuality, we struggle to bond.
If we lean in with all our weight, we risk self-betrayal.

Those with avoidant attachment fear losing themselves.
Those with anxious attachment fear losing the relationship.

And most of us? We oscillate somewhere in between.

But here’s the good news: we don’t have to master this perfectly. Love is not a performance. It’s a practice. A living, breathing practice of staying connected to our own heart while opening to someone else’s.

We are breaking out of old paradigms of romance — the codependency, the self-abandonment, the silent resentment that once masqueraded as devotion. And yet, without those old scripts, it can feel disorienting. How do we stay rooted in ourselves and responsive to another? How do we know when we are compromising in a healthy way — and when we are betraying ourselves?

The disconnection that happens when we override our own truth is something The Avett Brothers sing about so poignantly — and in their song, I Go To My Heart, they are repairing the relationship between an individual and their own heart after self betrayal.

“I go to my heart, my knees
And im begging darling please
I will never stray from you like that again”

It’s a love song to his own heart.

If you are navigating this edge — wanting deeper connection without losing who you are — you don’t have to figure it out alone.

This is the heart of the work I do in 1:1 coaching.

Together, we slow it down.
We untangle attachment patterns.
We strengthen your connection to your own inner knowing.
And we build the capacity to create intimacy that feels secure, alive, and self-honoring.

If you’re ready to practice a new way of loving — one where you don’t have to disappear to belong — I’d love to walk alongside you.

Reach out to schedule a 1:1 session. Let’s build love that includes all of you.

"I Go To My Heart" by The Avett Brothers off of their newest album, 'The Third Gleam.''The Third Gleam' now available everywhere: https://found.ee/thethirdgl...

02/16/2026

This Joni Mitchell song has always spoken to me. It captures one of the central paradoxes of modern love—the longing for both freedom and security. The desire for love to feel like an adventure and, at the same time, a safe haven.
For the gypsy souls, the artists, the free spirits, tethering yourself to another can feel deeply vulnerable. It can stir fears of losing yourself, of being contained or constrained. And for the more grounded among us, allowing ourselves—or our partners—the freedom to roam can feel just as scary. We worry that if someone flies too far, something might keep them from coming back.
Yet the deepest, most nourishing relationships ask us to hold both truths at once: autonomy and devotion, movement and grounding, wings and roots.
If you feel called to explore this balance—learning how to stay true to yourself while deeply bonding with another—I’d love to connect. I’ve helped many people tune into their own inner wisdom and discover a way to feel both connected and free.
Reach out to work with me 1:1, or join me in my Relationship Alchemy Women’s Group Coaching Online, where we explore these themes together in a supportive, transformative space.
"In search of love and music, my whole life has been
Illumination, corruption and diving, diving, diving, diving
Diving down to pick up on every shiny thing
Just like that black crow flying in a blue sky"

Provided to YouTube by RhinoBlack Crow · Joni MitchellHejira℗ 1976 Asylum RecordsMastering Engineer: Bernie GrundmanMixing Engineer: Henry LewyUnknown: Henry...

02/06/2026

One of the greatest gifts of being a professional coach is getting to have real conversations about what actually matters. Relationships have always been my deepest passion. In college, as an anthropology major, I remember learning how tribal societies understood something we’ve largely forgotten: relationships are what make a community strong.

Our modern culture is deeply transactional, and even then I sensed that our collective compass was pointed in the wrong direction.

I long for a culture that places greater value on relationships—especially now. Strong communities aren’t a luxury; they’re a necessity. We’re being asked to find a more nuanced balance between the individual freedom we’re taught to cherish and the willingness to yield to something larger than ourselves: a family, a partnership, a community. It’s the delicate art of caring for our own hearts while also tending to the hearts of others.

If you feel called to make the world better by creating healthier, more meaningful relationships, I’d love to connect. Schedule a call with me, and let’s explore how you can nourish yourself and the relationships that matter most.

02/04/2026

We all carry a dream about what a fulfilling romantic relationship will bring to our lives. A sense of arrival. Of being chosen. Of finally feeling whole.
Mature love asks us to grieve that dream.
Not necessarily because we chose the wrong person(though sometimes we do) but because many of our expectations were shaped by outdated ideas about love: fairy tales of fusion, rescue, and completion.
Real love doesn’t erase our wounds or deliver permanent safety and certainty. And letting go of that fantasy can feel like a real loss.
But on the other side of that grief is something truer:
love between two whole people, choosing each other—again and again—without illusion.
I think that’s why songs like In Spite of Ourselves by John Prine and Iris Dement are so universally loved. They celebrate the beauty of love not being a dreamy fairy tale and warmly embrace imperfection.
“In Spite of ourselves we’ll end up sitting on a rainbow. Against all odds, we’re the big door prize. We’re gonna spite our noses right off of our faces. There won’t be nothing but big ol’ hearts dancing in our eyes”

Provided to YouTube by BWSCD IncIn Spite of Ourselves · John Prine · Iris DeMentIn Spite Of Ourselves℗ 1999 Oh Boy RecordsReleased on: 1999-09-14Main Artist...

02/01/2026

Massage opening, Coaching for men and women

I have a massage session open on Tuesday February 3rd at 4pm. Just send me a message and it's yours! As always, helping me fill a last minute appointment comes with a thank you of $10 off!!!

01/27/2026

Calling all open-hearted Queens 👑♥️
With Valentine’s Day approaching, I’m inviting you to reclaim it—not as a Hallmark holiday, but as a powerful moment to get radically clear about what love truly means to you.
Who do you want to be in romantic relationship?
What do you want from a partner?
What do you want love, romance, intimacy, and play to actually look and feel like in your life?
In a world full of uncertainty and upheaval, it can feel frivolous to focus on romance. I believe the opposite is true.
Getting clear about the most significant relationship in your life is activism. It creates a solid internal foundation from which you can show up, contribute, and care. It allows your relationship to become a place of nervous-system restoration—a well of renewal in chaotic times.
Romance, pleasure, and sexuality have always been antidotes to hate.
“Make Love, Not War” was never just a slogan—it was wisdom.
Because I feel so deeply about this, I offer group coaching where we gather in community to explore, clarify, and name what we desire in love and romance—together.
✨ Relationship Alchemy Women’s Coaching Circle ✨
• Meets 2x monthly
Next session is Thursday 2/5
• 6–7pm Eastern
• Online via Zoom

01/24/2026

I’ve always carried an inner knowing that intimate relationships are one of our greatest opportunities for learning and evolution. We see ourselves most clearly when we’re reflected in another, and our hearts expand when someone else’s needs matter as much as our own.
And yet, if you’re anything like me, modern romance can feel like a pendulum swing. On one side, we protect our hearts with strong boundaries and a commitment not to self-abandon. On the other, empathy, compassion, and a deep longing for connection can quietly pull us away from our center.
What if there were a way to honor both longings?
To be rooted in your own empowerment and experience a deeply bonded, nourishing relationship?
I’ve got a peaceful, easy feeling. I know you won’t let me down.
’Cause I’m already standing on the ground.
That lyric has always captured my deepest wish: to be steady in myself and to trust love. To stay grounded while opening my heart. To let romance be a place of expansion rather than contraction.
This is the work I do in Relationship Alchemy—supporting women to cultivate self-trust, clarity, and emotional steadiness while staying open to intimacy, devotion, and desire.
If you’re ready to stop swinging between over-protection and over-giving…
If you want to feel anchored in yourself and available for love…
✨ I’d love to support you.
You can join my Relationship Alchemy Group Coaching for Women to explore this work in community, or work with me 1:1 for deeper, personalized support.
Trust that nudge you’re feeling. You don’t have to figure this out alone. 💛

01/15/2026

"A vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare."
One of my coaches said this in a workshop and I cannot stop thinking about it. Whenever we have a goal, and we aren't inhabiting it with our actions, our values and our wisdom, we lose the momentum and power of manifesting.
Also, From the American Society of Training and Development:
Only 10% of people who set goals attain them.
That percentage rises to 25% with conscious commitment (ritual, writing it down, etc)
That number rises to 65% when one shares the goal with someone
That number rises to 95% when one has support and accountability.
Hiring a coach is worth the investment!
Let me know how I can support you in manifesting your vision!

01/15/2026

My low income coaching spot just opened up! A 3 month (6 session) commitment for half price. Sessions are virtual. I'd love to offer the Man Package to someone. Reach out if you are a male who wants to uplevel his relationships, his fulfillment and his impact!

01/08/2026

My Relationship Alchemy Women’s Group Coaching starts TONIGHT — and the first session is FREE!
The modern relationship zeitgeist is full of wisdom. We’re finally dismantling the cultural fairy tale about love. We’re learning that our relationship with ourselves is foundational. We’re seeing our codependency more clearly. We’re learning about attachment styles, trauma, boundaries, and why longevity is not the only measure of success. I celebrate all of that.
AND… I think it’s time to use all this insight to reshape romance going forward — to play with it instead of endlessly analyzing it. To remember the pleasure and magic of connection. To trust that we are wise enough to surrender a little more.
Esther Perel says modern relationships are “not a problem to be solved, but a paradox to be managed.” I believe one of those paradoxes is this: how do we surrender to the mystery and excitement of romance, while staying grounded, self-aware, and realistic?
That’s what we explore in Relationship Alchemy — whether you’re partnered, single, or hoping to be someday. We uncover each woman’s unique path to what feels authentically romantic and alive, while honoring boundaries, insight, and real-world expectations.
Join us tonight!
DM me for the link and become part of the community. 💛