12/01/2025
Dear Brokenhearted,
I want to start by saying…I see you. I see the way you’re carrying your grief through days that feel heavier than words can describe. I know how it feels to have tears surface when you least expect them, and to apologize as if they’re something to be ashamed of.
I know what it’s like to tiptoe around the subject of your loss because you're afraid your feelings might make someone else uncomfortable.
It’s already exhausting to get through each day without the person you love, but then you’re told, silently or outright, to keep your grief hidden, as if showing your heartache somehow makes you less strong.
Here’s the thing…you shouldn’t have to defend your right to grieve.
Even those we love and trust can speak words that land wrong. They want to help, but sometimes their comfort feels shallow compared to the depth of your pain. Our society doesn’t always understand that grief isn’t a weakness to be corrected, it’s a testament to love.
Some people who haven’t suffered a significant loss think there’s a timeline for feeling pain. They believe you should ‘move on’ after a certain point. But there’s no deadline for missing someone who was a part of your soul.
If you’re feeling alone in this, I want to remind you that the person you’re grieving mattered.
They still matter…and so do you.
Your pain matters because it’s born out of love, and no one else has the right to tell you how long that love should hurt.
You’re healing, even when it doesn’t look or feel that way. You don’t need to race or meet some invisible deadline. You’re walking through each day without a piece of your heart, and that’s something only you can understand.
So, my friend, be gentle with yourself. Cry when you need to. Speak their name often. Hold their memory close. Because in that space, between the missing and the remembering, love still lives.
With understanding,
Someone who knows this road…
Gary Sturgis – Surviving Grief