Reagan Duenckel, PLPC

03/30/2026

Butterflies may not be able to fully see or appreciate their own wings. They may have no idea how beautiful they truly are.

And as I think about that, my mind immediately goes to how we as humans aren’t so different…

We often fail to see the beauty in ourselves and our own lives.

Instead, we’re caught up-
comparing ourselves to others,
beating ourselves up mentally for little mistakes, and feeling or believing we’re just not enough.

But it doesn’t have to stay that way. We can change the narrative.

We can all work to lift each other up and remind each other how beautifully, fearfully, and wonderfully made we are. (Psalm 139:14).

And, in trying to be more like Christ, not of the world, (1 Sam 16:7 -in part- "People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.") we can uplift each other and remind those around us just how beautiful they are- inside and out.

If you’re a Christian, you may also believe that God sees and values you far differently than the world does. He sees your beauty and celebrates every part of it, even when we struggle to see it ourselves.

There are so many wonderful things to value in ourselves and others. To just name a few:

Honesty
Reliability
Optimism
Creativity
Friendship
Kindness
Intelligence
Athleticism
Talents
Humor
Resilience
Strength

Often, in middle school, high school, and beyond, so many girls and women struggle to see their own beauty. We then compare themselves to others and have silent internal battles regarding their own appearance- leading to low self esteem, body image issues, and more.

I work with my teenage and young adult clients often to practice regular habits to improve their ability to speak kindly of themselves, celebrate strengths, and to remember that their body and appearance are truly the least interesting thing about them-- that their hearts, their minds, and their souls are what are so beautiful and to be celebrated daily.

In the same light- speaking kindly of others can then create that ripple effect or butterfly effect, and help create a whole shift into how we speak about our sisters (and brothers) in Christ-- a major shift from the cultural norms of bullying others, judging those who look different, comparing oneself to others, and more.

So, let’s put it into practice!

Comment below and tag a sister/friend/someone you look up to. Remind them of their beauty and see if it helps you to remember your own beauty along the way.

03/24/2026

I already know I'm not the only person who experiences a good ole ✨crash out✨ from time to time.

And- if you're like me, when the emotions become too much, you can't even get the words out to tell your favorite humans what you need most in the moment for support.🙃😣

So... I've made a list for your benefit. Take it as a little therapist freebie. 😆

Known as co-regulation skills, it's when we lean on our favorite trusted humans for support to help get our thinking brains back online when the nervous system decides it wants to take over and make us feel like we're losing our minds.

Check out this list and send your favorite options to your favorite human so that next time you need the support, they can be there for you in a way that actually helps you calm down. 😉😎

I'm rooting for you!

03/24/2026

If you've been looking for a sign, this is it. 💙

03/19/2026

I was running late this morning.

Typically, doing so throws off my mood. I’m flustered, anxious, and feeling behind in every way if I’m late.

But today, I decided to just embrace the fact that I was late.

I took a deep breath.
Reframed my mindset.
Didn’t rush the rest of my routine.
Reminded myself everything would still be okay if I was late.

And then… I looked up and saw this!

Do you see this GORGEOUS sunrise?!

If I had rushed myself to be on time today, I would’ve completely missed this artwork in the sky!

I smiled. I stared at it. I soaked it in.
Ugh, I just love a good Missouri sunrise!

Sometimes, slowing down and just staying present is more rewarding than rushing and having our mind already set on the next thing.

I hope you take some time today to slow down and take in the beauty of life around you.

03/17/2026

Some days just feel… blah.

You’re not falling apart, but you’re also not feeling like yourself. Something is just... off.

You’re tired, overwhelmed, or maybe a little stuck—and you’re not even sure why. The sunny days just don't give you a boost like they used to, and that blows.

Maybe it’s anxiety that’s always lurking in the background, a big life shift that hasn’t fully settled, or old stuff popping up in new ways.

Or maybe it’s hard to even put into words. Sometimes words are just hard.

If you can relate, therapy may be a good option for you. Therapy serves as a space to slow down and sort through all the blah—without pressure to have it all figured out.

I currently have a few openings for young adults working through anxiety, life transitions, trauma, and related challenges.

My sessions are all private pay, which allows for more individualized care—no required diagnoses, no session limits, and the flexibility to focus on what’s actually helpful for you.

Therapy doesn’t have to wait until things feel unmanageable. It can simply be a place to recalibrate and reset.

03/16/2026

Emotional maturity isn't about never having difficult feelings. It's about what you do with them.

It looks like being able to sit with discomfort without immediately numbing it away. Taking responsibility for the impact you have on someone even when your intent was different. Being willing to change your mind when the evidence calls for it. Separating how you feel from what you do, so that strong emotions don't automatically become harmful actions.

Apologizing without making yourself the victim of the situation. And being able to hold space for someone else's experience without centering your own.

These aren't personality traits. They're skills. And they can be developed.

03/16/2026

03/15/2026

Sourdough and Mental Wellness

🥖 ➕ 🧠

I know- this sounds like a stretch, but hear me out. I think there are some great analogies here.

Sourdough starter needs daily attention to stay alive. You have to fuel it each day for it to grow. If you use it when it has peak energy, it can make beautiful loaves of bread.

Your mental health and your wellbeing as a whole is similar. You need daily attention to thrive. You need food, water, warmth, and just basic things to get through each day. You work your best when you have energy. Your brain does its best work when fueled properly.

Sourdough bread doesn’t just then magically appear though. You have to check on it often. You have to stretch it, and fold it, and let it rest. After all of that energy you started with, the bread dough then needs REST. If you give it enough rest time, the result when you bake it can be (and taste) amazing.

Don’t you also need periods of rest? Aren’t there times where life (and therapy) may stretch you or make you fold to old habits? Can’t rest also be incredibly healing for you? 🤯

The good news about everything I’ve learned about sourdough is this: any efforts are good efforts. Even my worst loaves of breads were still a loaf of bread that fed my family and tasted great. Sure, the texture is sometimes off, and sometimes I don’t let it bake long enough. But usually, the errors are due to me rushing the process. And it’s humbling to remember that sometimes we rush our own healing… and then it leads to our own little mistakes.

Maybe we need to sit back, fuel, wait for peak energy, do our best to stretch when needed, then rest until it’s time to shine again. Could be worth a try?!

I don’t know- maybe this is a bit far fetched… but I’m just thinking, humans really aren’t that different from other living things. And yes- sourdough starter is a living thing- natural yeast and science are awesome. 😎

Sincerely,
A therapist who also loves her sourdough ❤️

03/13/2026

Trust me, I get it. Life is brutal sometimes. 😅😳

Most of us are just trying to get by and "survive" these days. We're trying our best to be healthy and enjoy life, but it feels like we just continue to fall short. The hard days just get harder and the easy days feel like a trap.

Sound familiar? 🤯

You're not crazy if you relate. Your nervous system is just working overtime to try to protect you. Consider this- You don't need happy thoughts to run from a bear- you just need to run.

Except, it's modern day and the bear isn't a bear at all... it's bills, a job, constant notifications, the success we're all chasing, the emotional trauma we just don't have the time or the energy to unpack, and the expectations we've been trying to live up to. We're trying to outrun our emotions and escape them, which in turn, just keeps us running... and running... and running... 🏃‍♀️ 🐻

But if we slow down, that also feels bad. Because when you slow down, that's when you notice everything and somehow that can almost feel... worse?

So, we're surviving. That's great. But we're not feeling anything joyful or happy, or if we do, it takes WORK. We're missing that old version of ourself that had fun, and found joy in the little things. That saw a minor inconvenience and shrugged it off rather than spiraling into a pit of despair.

The nervous system hasn't made time for that. Happiness and connection and warm fuzzy feelings happen when we feel safe and calm. Which means we have to slow down. We have to quit running. And we have to make peace with some of the chaos.

In therapy, I slow down with you so it doesn't feel so bad. I help you find that calm. I work with you to reframe some of the thoughts and figure out what the heck you're running from, so that we can teach your nervous system to calm down and actually give you a chance to enjoy things again. ☀️

Not all of the work has to be done in the therapy session though. We can make small shifts to help our brain begin to rewire and start thinking about the "good" instead of just all of the "danger" and the "bad".

⁉️Consider this:

What if you started celebrating the small things or counted the "neutral" events as "wins" instead.

🟢Example:

Do a tiny little happy dance after that first sip of your morning coffee. And if you already do a little dance, maybe dance a little longer tomorrow morning.

OR

Turn the fact that you got dressed today into a celebration that you got to wear a comfy shirt or your favorite color. Take a moment to appreciate that win.

Even a small dose of joy can help reframe our day. Our brains are constantly rewiring-- and it grows where we fuel it. If we teach it more joy and peace and calm, it will start to reinforce that idea more naturally.

Have a small win of the day? Something you normally wouldn't take the time to celebrate or enjoy, but maybe now you're considering it a joy or a happy moment?

Share below! I'd love to know!!⬇️⬇️

03/13/2026