04/01/2026
đ¨ BIG ANNOUNCEMENT đ¨
After a lot of thought⌠Iâve decided to pivot my business.
Starting today, I will ONLY be offering:
â 5-minute âguess where it hurtsâ massages
â No talking allowed (for you⌠not me đ)
â Extra charge if you breathe too loud
â And all sessions will now include surprise burpees
Because honestly⌠balance đ
âŚ
April Fools đ
But for real â if your body feels like itâs been through a workout AND life⌠I got you.
Letâs actually reset your body the right way đââď¸â¨