Amanda Slinkman - Freedom Counseling

11/24/2025

11/18/2025

We are all still collectively learning how to better understand the impact of our choices throughout our general environment, as humanity continues to advance and integrate the social-emotional IQ throughout the various layers of community around us (locally, statewide, nationally, globally). It’s easy to go with our instinctive raw thoughts and emotions that most quickly seeks to identify if there’s a villain and a victim in any given scenario. That’s our survival brain doing its job. However, there comes a point where we each have had enough experiences to know that most of our problems come from jumping to conclusions and becoming defensive surrounding this raw narrative, alone. This is still okay, though, as it takes these raw narratives to practice getting to the more evolved and collaborative/integrative narratives that recognize more and more easily that we are better served thinking and retrying as a team and contributing to rather than challenging our social atmosphere so that we can become more and more efficient and better stewards of our limited resources. This skit paints clear example of the mutual benefits of growth and improved awareness/skills with collaboration with both the individual and group values in-mind!

10/23/2025

Reading this, it made a connection to the link some common aggressive parenting beliefs and practices can model for children who grow up to struggle with unhealthy personality/behavior traits in their relationships (not just narcissists)….such as when acting on beliefs that ‘adults are to be respected’ combined with ‘disrespect is okay for adults to use in response to disrespect, to teach that lesson’, or “disrespect fixes the problem by shutting a child down (expectation).” These combos can instill unhealthy messages about how a child can navigate the world to “command respect.” This may have been a cycle modeled in families for a long time and believed to be connected to “good results” like a “hardened/strong demeanor”which actually creates barriers to secure attachments with others and reinforces the perceived need to stay “hardened”.

These messages can get internalized by children as they grow into adults that THAT is what being an adult should look like and therefore gets externally applied on their own partners and children in harmful ways.

As a child therapist, I’m a strong advocate of believing to achieve, which includes believing children are technically a younger and yet-to-become-experienced version of the individual adult they will spend most of their lives being, with their childhood memories in-mind. To achieve a healthy, balanced adult can only result from using healthy, balanced beliefs and strategies.

Parents are often concerned that teaching a child their boundaries can make the inherent battle for ‘control’ in the household more challenging, but truthfully the concept of ‘trust’ allows people to see someone as helpful and feel more free to share control helpfully, which can’t be achieved in an environment where the adults support double-standards (which children eventually develop the ability to sense the unfairness as early as when they start saying it about their siblings/peers).

Teaching children that they DO have boundaries (including the right to be respected, even if that includes being told that disrespectful behavior causes someone to feel less motivated to be minimally respectful or able to think of them at the same level of respect as before)…to be taught their boundaries are just as valid as an adult helps them achieve living by those boundaries both for themselves and for others more and more, without memories that paint a conflicting picture of what that looks like or that provides “exceptional circumstances” to explore for themselves at someone’s expense.oran

10/06/2025

Happy Monday! Looking for a change of pace? Just being mindful of the impact of your everyday choices and how it aligns with your goals and values can make a bigger difference than one might expect:

10/02/2025

09/10/2025

09/05/2025

08/08/2025

Heart-centered empowerment for compassionate people, this mini-course will help you come back home to yourself, one beautiful boundary at a time. Only $19 for lifetime access! Taught by therapist and popular boundaries expert, Molly Davis.

07/31/2025

https://youtu.be/zifhh65yR_g?si=XBlzoMUfLlwEWKww

, , , you constantly trying to be kind to a narcissist, hoping they will change? The truth i...

07/03/2025

**A person who claims they don't have to treat you with common decency or respect is trying to make you think you don't have the right to have boundaries.** This is a major red flag and a key characteristic of emotionally toxic and manipulative individuals. It’s not just a bad attitude—it’s a calculated attempt to condition you into silence, submission, and self-doubt.

People like this often carry an inflated sense of entitlement. They believe their anger, stress, jealousy, or dissatisfaction gives them a license to treat others poorly—especially those closest to them. They will justify their cruelty with excuses like, “You’re too sensitive,” “I was just being honest,” or “You provoked me.” They want you to internalize their emotional volatility as your fault.

But make no mistake: **You are never the reason someone chooses to be cruel.** Disrespect is a choice—so is kindness. And when someone refuses to treat you with even basic decency, they are showing you who they are—not who you are.

Boundaries are not selfish, dramatic, or rude. They are necessary for self-respect and emotional safety. People who challenge or mock your boundaries are not harmless—they are testing how much they can get away with. The more you tolerate, the more they will push.

If someone is upset, it's their responsibility to manage those feelings. You are not an emotional punching bag, a scapegoat, or a target for displaced rage. **No one has the right to make you feel small just because they’re uncomfortable in their own skin.**