04/24/2023
Today is day 5 after Chemo. I'm still on steroids which is normal for the first 5 days to keep my blood levels up. It sucks because my husband says they make me moody, sassy, and sometimes hard to deal with. I agree he is right, but I don't mean to be that way at all. It always passes and then I will be drained for a couple days after because my body is still trying to unwind from the steroids. Having cancer or an illness sucks because every single day is different and we cant control how we feel or how our bodies deal with everything going on. Meds, they give us don't always work the way they should and cause crazy side effects but, then you can't not take them because they help in one way or another. So, every day and every hour is different. I have all the energy in the mornings and that's when I get stuff done, then by midday I'm worn out and wanting that nap but if I take that nap I don't sleep very good at night even with the pain pill, sleeping meds and everything else I take for cancer. So it's a complicated life. It's so hard to explain how it feels to have cancer. Not everyone feels the same things or have the side effects, not everyone can handle the emotional, physical or the mental side of cancer. It's really all in the support system you have. It's all about taking the good with the bad. For me it's making sure I remain positive to show everyone around me that I'm strong, I'm a fighter, I still got a lot of life let to live, I got kids and grandbabies to watch grow up, I have a husband to go on adventures with still and most importantly that I'm a mom and still have stuff to teach my kids. Yes, they are 22, 23, and 25 but they still need momma to help them through life. they still need advice, comfort, to be told when they are wrong and need to change the way they look at certain situations. We all need help in those areas no matter how old we are. We all need guidance because none of us are perfect. We were given life to live life to our fullest.
