Fully Alive Coaching

01/15/2026

01/11/2026

This is something we work on in the Cycle Breakers program —
learning to tell the difference between misalignment and actual harm.

Harm is absolutely real and it happens a lot.
And I find that many people interpret misalignment as harm —
they take it deeply personally when someone can't meet them where they want to be met.
And while it's true that misalignment and harm can overlap at times,
it's also true that someone not being in the same space as you isn't inherently harmful or offensive, and it doesn't necessarily make either of you "wrong."

You might be in different places with different needs, maturity levels, perspectives, or feelings about something significant.
And that's not inherently bad —
but in order to tolerate misalignment, we have to have a respectful connection with ourselves.
We have to have the self awareness to be present to our own feelings, needs, wants, and desires, and to be in touch with our own boundaries.

And when we do so, we can encounter misalignment and recognize what's happening is that we're not in the same place —
and use that information to help us move forward.
Sometimes together, respecting differences.
Sometimes separately when we realize the gap is too large.
This can be quite painful at times, but it's what differentiated, emotionally mature adults become increasingly capable of over time.

This is a complex topic, but one that can be incredibly helpful when we stop interpreting difference as harm (which often happens when we're raised in codependent systems).
If this is something you're working on, the 12 month Cycle Breakers program begins January 21.
Space is limited!
https://theeqschool.co/cycle-breakers

01/11/2026

Selflovehealer

01/11/2026

❤️ When parents commit infidelity, it doesn’t just damage their marriage, it can fracture the bond with their children permanently. Adult children often cut ties because the betrayal poisons their sense of trust and identity. Here’s how it plays out:

Psychology Breakdown of Infidelity as a Trigger

- Trust Collapse

Children grow up believing their parents are the “foundation.” Infidelity shatters that foundation. The brain interprets it as “If you can betray your partner, you can betray me too.”

- Moral Contamination

In dark psychology, betrayal spreads like a virus. The child sees the cheating parent as morally contaminated, someone who rewrites loyalty rules for selfish gain. Cutting off becomes a way to avoid being infected by that same dishonesty.

- Gaslighting & Cover-Ups

If the parent lies, denies, or manipulates the narrative, the child experiences double betrayal: first the act, then the deception. This forces the child into survival mode, choosing distance over constant reality distortion.

- Identity Damage

Infidelity often humiliates the other parent. Adult children feel that pain as their own, because family identity is shared. In layman’s terms: “You didn’t just cheat on mom/dad, you cheated on us as a family.”

- Unrepentant Behavior

If the cheating parent refuses accountability, the child’s subconscious labels them as a predator of trust. Dark psychology frames this as a permanent threat, making “no contact” the safest option.

Why Infidelity Cuts Deeper

Infidelity isn’t just about s*x, it’s about betrayal of loyalty, safety, and family identity. For adult children, that betrayal flips the same survival switch as abuse or manipulation. The cutoff becomes symbolic: “I won’t let your betrayal define my life."

01/11/2026

What happens when the very place meant to bring healing—the church—becomes the source of deeper wounds?Join world-renowned psychologist Dr. Diane Langberg in...

01/11/2026

1. When one person consistently over-functions in a relationship, the system adapts around it. Over-functioning doesn’t stay personal; it becomes structural. The relationship reorganizes itself so that one person carries the emotional, logistical, and relational weight. This isn’t usually conscious or malicious. It’s efficient. The system stabilizes around whoever manages the most.

2. Continued in comments.

01/08/2026

01/08/2026

01/07/2026

01/05/2026

Sending some your way today and every day.