Intimate Partner Betrayal Alliance

11/07/2025

A manipulator is a master at his craft. He is sneaky, yet charming; petty, yet flattering. To his victim, she is in a constant state of feeling confused, crazy, and in the wrong. To outsiders, he is a good man who is kind to others.

Manipulators are masters at keeping their victims silent and outsiders unaware. As people helpers, we cannot base our evaluations of situations of domestic abuse on the abuser’s public actions. We must seek further understanding based on the victim’s experiences.

*Disclaimer: We understand that manipulation is not gender specific. At Give Her Wings, we specifically serve female survivors of domestic violence.. As a result, our posts are centered around male abusers and female survivors of domestic abuse.

ABOUT US:
We help the church help domestic abuse victims. Learn more here: www.giveherwings.com

11/07/2025

For the one seeking a sense that things can still move, even here…

May you know that even here in November,
you are free to begin again.

As the days grow longer
and you begin to wonder
how to live inside what has already changed,
may you know that each sunrise is still a sunrise.

The small rhythms you create here still matter.

Even when there are slow starts to the mornings
and days that feel left unfinished,
may you know that inhale after exhale,
you are still part of the day turning.

You are learning to stay near what continues,
however subtle.

You are learning to notice
what shifts with what stays steady.

And as blades of grass still lift under the sun in winter
and rivers still move when the days shorten,
you too are free to move
in ways that reflect the shape of the day.

You are slowly but surely discovering,
perhaps, after everything,
this is what it can mean to begin again:
continuing to breathe deep amid the change,
and remain present, anyway.

MHN

11/06/2025

Many couples don’t recognize the cracks that are in the foundation of their relationship from the start.
Childhood trauma, ruptures in attachment, distorted thinking, etc get in and pollute the marriage like a broken sewage pipe.
I think doing family of origin work should be a part of a couples work long before premarital counseling. Stronger, healthier individuals make stronger, healthier marriages.

11/05/2025

When you start healing, you stop needing the same things you once did.

You begin to see the patterns, the roles, and the dynamics you kept repeating to feel safe.

And once you see them clearly, you can’t unsee them.

You start craving honesty, peace, and mutual effort instead of intensity, confusion, or chaos.

But not everyone around you will grow with you.
Some people will still need the version of you who made things easy for them.

The one who over-gave, who avoided conflict, who stayed quiet to keep the peace.

When you stop playing that role, it unsettles the balance that once held those relationships together.

The connection starts to fade, and it feels like loss even though it’s growth.

You grieve the comfort, the shared memories, and the hope that they’d change with you.

It’s a silent kind of heartbreak because no one did anything wrong — the fit just shifted.

Healing changes your capacity for what love, friendship, and safety mean.

And as you rise into that new version of yourself, not everyone can meet you there.

That grief is real, and it’s the price of becoming who you were always meant to be.

11/05/2025

I have great compassion for every woman who has to pay a great price for her freedom. The journey of leaving a destructive or abusive marriage is not for the faint at heart. I do believe that a woman reclaiming her sense of self is worth the price, but I don’t get to decide. I can hold space, wait, and show them the way when they are ready.

11/04/2025

There’s something about women and winter that leads to delusion. I’m not sure if it’s the Hallmark movies or the loneliness, but keep your guard up! Hallmark moves aren’t real but heartbreak and trauma are. It’s only a few months of boundaries to save you a lifetime of heartache.

11/03/2025

The discovery of betrayal woke me up to the reality that you can give your all to someone and they can and will still cheat. It taught me that I’m no responsible for others, only myself. Betrayal freed me from a prison I didn’t even know I was in! I have made a promise to myself to never go back!

11/03/2025

Many women settle for less in relationships because we see empathy and compassion as “feminine” qualities. Empathy and compassion are human qualities. If your relationship requires you to always be the giver of empathy, but never the receiver, it’s not healthy. Mutuality is an essential ingredient to healthy relationships.

11/03/2025

Being betrayed taught me so much about life that I didn’t know, but needed to. I learned that boundaries are invaluable and living without them is dangerous. I let go of people pleasing and perfectionism. Most importantly, I learned to fall in love with myself. That is something that can never be taken away. So no regrets, a lot of hard learned lessons that I can share with others.

If you need help letting go of regret, I would love to help you.

11/02/2025

Take a moment to pause and reflect on what you’re proud of. We live in a world that constantly encourages us to chase goals, but we can forget to slow down and reflect. Depression, despair, and discouragement are real emotions people feel around this time of year. Be intentional about taking care of yourself, taking one day at a time, and doing what you can. Life will keep going, even if you don’t, so slow down. We need you here, keep showing up.

11/01/2025