12/18/2025
First. Then. And suddenly the day feels doable. đź’›
If your child struggles with doing unfavorable tasks, you may have heard of the First–Then method or you might already be using it without realizing it.
👉 First we do something that needs to happen
👉 Then we get something motivating or preferred
Example:
First shoes on
Then playground time
First homework page
Then screen time
First teeth brushed
Then favorite bedtime story
Why it works:
• It helps kids see an endpoint, which is enormous for regulatory
• It reduces anxiety by making expectations clear
• It replaces “no” and power struggles with predictability
Use visuals and simple language, and keep the “then” realistic and immediate at first. Over time, you can stretch it out.
• It builds independence over time
This isn’t bribery. It’s structure.
And structure helps many autistic kids feel safe enough to cooperate, try, and grow 🌱
Pro tip:
Use visuals, simple words, and keep the “then” realistic and immediate at first. Over time, you can stretch it out.
Small words. Big calm.
If this resonates, you’re not alone.
