Maui Transformations

02/01/2026

This is really well done

01/30/2026

I love this quote:

I think the worst relationships are the ones where you trauma bond. You’re not connecting because you’re aligned… you’re connecting because your nervous systems recognize each other’s wounds. That’s why it can feel addictive, passionate, hard to leave, and confusing as hell.

01/29/2026

The best ones take time just let them go nontheless

01/15/2026

This is about seeing potential when others see waste

He had $80 left, a truck full of horses headed for slaughter was pulling away, and one pair of eyes locked with his. What happened next rewrote history.

February 1956. A snowy auction yard in Pennsylvania. Harry deLeyer, a Dutch immigrant barely scraping by as a riding instructor, arrived too late. The auction was over. Horses labeled “worthless”—too old, too worn, too broken—had already been loaded onto a truck bound for the slaughterhouse.

As the truck prepared to leave, Harry noticed a grey gelding staring back through the wooden slats. The horse’s body told a hard story—scarred hide, worn hooves, years of brutal plow work—but his eyes were calm, intelligent, alive. Where others saw an animal at the end of its usefulness, Harry saw a soul worth saving.

He stopped the truck. He negotiated. He handed over his last $80, money his family could barely afford to lose. The horse stepped off the truck and into a new life. Harry named him Snowman, because his grey coat blended into the winter fields of their Long Island farm.

Snowman was meant to be a gentle school horse—safe, predictable, quiet.

But Snowman had other plans.

No matter how high the fences were built, Snowman jumped them. Four feet. Five feet. Six. The unwanted plow horse soared with the grace of a champion. Harry realized this wasn’t a beginner’s horse—it was something extraordinary.

Against all odds, Harry trained Snowman for professional competition. They entered shows filled with pedigreed thoroughbreds worth thousands. Judges scoffed at the rescue horse with the farmer’s build.

Then Snowman started winning.

In 1958, just two years after being saved, Snowman became National Horse Show Champion, defeating America’s finest jumpers. In 1959, he did it again. The eighty-dollar horse had become priceless.

Their story swept the nation. LIFE Magazine, The Tonight Show, and Sports Illustrated all featured them. In a post-war America searching for hope, Harry and Snowman became symbols that value isn’t defined by pedigree or price—but by heart.

Offers poured in, even $100,000. Harry refused every one. “He’s not for sale,” he said. “He’s family.”

Snowman lived to 26, retiring peacefully on the farm. Harry passed away in 2021 at 93. Their bond was forever preserved in the 2015 documentary Harry & Snowman.

This isn’t just a horse story. It’s about seeing potential where others see waste.

Sometimes, the greatest victories aren’t won.

They’re rescued.

01/14/2026

01/12/2026

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1ChiVddsP4/?mibextid=wwXIfr

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01/09/2026

This kid is loving hula!

01/05/2026

SHOULD YOU FORGIVE AND FORGET?

A Stoic View of Human Relations

The Stoic Philosophers all stress the futility of being angry with someone for their behavior. They point out that carrying the anger disturbs our peace more than their’s.

The Dichotomous Rule: Know the difference between what you can control and what you cannot control—and stop trying to control what other people think or do and instead focus only on what you can control.

Whether you forgive someone depends on you. So, theoretically it is under your control. Getting them to feel sorry is not.

What do you mean by forgive?

When I speak of forgiving someone that does not mean I will spend time with them or allow them to mistreat me again in any way.

Forgiveness is not a word I really like. I prefer to think about understanding people and their current limitations. I make my decision whether to continue our relationship based on what I now understand and my past experiences with the person.

If I continue the relationship, it is not because I have forgiven or forgotten their past behavior. I now know what the person is capable of. This means I will be unlikely to ever trust them in the same way I did before. I will be more cautious about what I share and what I expect.

Stoic View of Nature

The Stoic Philosophers I mainly read, Epictetis, Marcus Aurelius, and Seneca, suggest it is rather ridiculous to expect people to do more than be typically human. Annoying and betraying and mistreating other people, or exploiting them for personal gain, have been part of the history of human behavior for as far back as we have records.

For perspective, Epictetus was alive and lecturing 1800 years ago about the futility of fighting Nature and expecting to control other people.

Since we know this is how humans naturally are to some extent, the Stoics advise ourselves to prepare ourselves in the morning by reminding us of we can expect to face. To paraphrase Emperor Marcus Aurelius in his Meditations:

Today I am going to encounter meanness and unfairness and anger and accusations from other people. But my only job is to be Good.

And by “Good” he meant that he would not react to these bad behaviors. Instead he would keep in mind his own moral code and what he considered virtuous behavior and do that no matter how anyone else behaved.

The Stoics recommend that we flow with nature like a stream and not waste our precious life fighting against the current.

The Stoics View of Harmony

They recommend trying to minimize life’s bumps by focusing on creating harmonious relationships as much as possible. This involves not sweating the small stuff, as the modern expression goes. This translates to not correcting every small mistake and overlooking minor annoying behaviors for the sake of peace and harmony.

Unnecessary fighting over trivial matters was viewed as a pointless waste of our energy and time.

Punchline

The more you focus on how disturbing someone’s behavior is, the more time you are spending on something in the past that you cannot change. Forgiving the person is one of the ways people move on with their life. I prefer to substitute “understanding and adjusting my expectations” to forgiving or forgetting.

Elinor Greenberg, PhD

Consultant on personality disorders and relationships. Author of the book: Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations.

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01/01/2026

If you need support in making 2026 your year, I am available in the office and via telehealth. Let’s make it our best year yet.