11/22/2022
They say with age; you stop 🙅♀️ caring what other people think!
Hmmm, maybe for some. Some of us have had experiences that can make this seem impossible. I, for one, am unsure if I will ever not care what other people think. However, I can say that it has improved and continues to change. 😶
Why do we care what people think anyway? It's a survival skill. People pleasing is a coping skill developed in response to unhealed wounds. It's a response designed to establish a sense of safety and avoid conflict and abandonment.
Underneath it all, we want to feel loved. We want to feel like we belong—love and belonging equal safety. So we want to know that people like us; we care what people think about our decisions, and we want people to like how we choose to live. We're actually wired to care about belonging. Being part of the tribe is how our ancestors survived.
But our brain is flexible, and we can create new neuropathways if we find that our fawning response is causing us unhappiness.
When we let the opinions of others dictate how we choose to live our lives, we’ve given our power away. 🤨 Sometimes, we can take their opinions too far and change something about ourselves when, honestly, what we're doing works for us. 🤷♀️ If they criticize what we eat, how we parent, how we clean, what we watch, etc., we need to ask ourselves if the dynamics of this relationship is serving us.
Asking for advice can be helpful. But we must get back to connecting to our internal guidance system. Besides did you ask for their advice or are they giving your opinion when you didn’t ask? Unsolicited advice is about them not you.
Listen to others. Take what feels good for you and your life, and then leave behind the rest! That’s what healthy living is all about. Remember, nobody knows you better than you!
What's the worst advice you've ever received?