12/20/2022
This doesn’t mean don’t speak up – it can be powerful to use your voice, it’s more about assessing the situation to see if it’s even worth your energy: pick your battles! Some people don’t want to understand or even become curious about other ways of thinking about food, health and bodies - not because they’re not intelligent enough, but because there’s a lot of emotion and self-concept bound up in the thought of challenging their narratives.
Have compassion for the burning need to educate everyone in your life. Many of us, me included, have spent considerable amounts of time trying to get others to understand, to feel safe enough in their presence, when they’re hellbent on remaining closed. What I remind myself is that everyone is entitled to what they believe helps them, and who am I to try and take that away from them (note: this doesn't mean I won't stand up for myself/others if it gets nasty/rude). I'll use statements like these if someone who I know is thick in diet culture/healthism feels the need to make comments on my body or food/eating behaviours. It honours my need to speak and at the same time doesn't add too much fuel to the fire: ‘there are plenty of ways to approach health, you’ve got yours, I’ve got mine, we don't have to agree’, ‘bodies change for lots of different reasons, I trust my body if it needs to change’, 'whoa that's quite an assumption, I think topics like these are complex and we'd be here all day if we were to unpack that'.
If you sense someone is genuinely interested in learning more, make a couple of statements and let them ask questions, but make it clear that you’re not willing to debate it, especially if you get the sense their ego is mostly looking for an argument to win.
