Bruce Fredenburg, M.S., LMFT

09/21/2022

source:

10/12/2021

If you know anyone who is experiencing or contemplaing a divorce it doesn't have to be a war destroying their family and finances. This is is worth checking out

Divorce can be one of the most devastating and disrespectful events that someone will experience in their life. Collaborative Practice California (CPCAL) and International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP) believes there is a better way that allows the couple to go through the divorce in...

09/14/2021

Free Webinar. Learn this useful skill.

Join us this coming Thursday September 16 12:00 noon - 1:30 pm Pacific Time

06/29/2021

We are very excited that Psychology Today has invited us to be guest article contributors! Here is our first article that posted today. Please share to help us get the word out about adult children of gray divorce.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/home-will-never-be-the-same-again/202106/how-avoid-taking-sides-in-your-parents-gray-divorce?fbclid=IwAR04XRI97oEHTt9Dx6LDoqy4DsFGdRqkuYawnfEAqFQcqjOgMJDM5yd0Zvk

Six tips to help you during this stressful time.

06/19/2021

In 1990 Family law attorney Stu Webb conceived Collaborative Practice as a better way for families to resolve disputes. 31 years later 35,00 professionals in 128 countries have abandoned Combat as a way to resolve family problems and instead use family focused processes to resolve divorce and other painful problems in a more peaceful and respectable ways that spares families from the worst aspects of divorce. I am happy to say I am one.

09/09/2020

This is our middle segment on 2nd Act TV. Please share if you find it valuable.

How do you break the news to your adult children that you are headed for divorce? A question gray divorce couples don’t think about nearly enough, say Marria...

08/04/2020

My co-author Carol Hughes, Ph.D., LMFT and I were interviewed on 2nd Act TV by Silke Schwarzkopf about families who's parents divorce when their children are adults. The effects are deeper and stronger than most
people suspect.

Gray Divorce, the term coined for couples divorcing after 50, has doubled over the past two decades. For those 60 and older, the divorce rate has tripled. Wh...

07/02/2020

I am happy to announce that my book is now available on Amazon. If you would like to take a look there is a link at the bottom of this post.

This is an exciting time for me. In February 2016 my good friend and colleague Dr. Carol Hughes was interviewed by the New York Times about an exploding world wide trend. An agent from one of the world’s leading literary agencies read the interview and asked her if she would write a book about the subject. Carol asked me to co-author the book with her. We had no idea that from the day we agreed and formulated the initial concept it would take almost four years of extensive research, writing editing and re-writing, followed by more editing and re-writing and would consume so much energy and time to see the finished product.
HERE ARE SOME ADVANCE REVIEWS

I am not a person who enjoys reading. It is rare that I will pick up a book that captures and holds my attention. When this happens, I don’t want to put it down until I get to the end. Home Will Never Be the Same Again is one of those rare books. It not only walks the Adult Child through the divorce process and helps them to realize they are not alone, but it is also a guide for the divorcing parents. The silver thread throughout each chapter is educating the Adult Child that there is hope & help. When reading this book, I found myself thinking, I could benefit from that tool or I know someone who really could benefit. This book may have been intended to be a guide for Adult Children of Divorcing Parents – it is truly way more than that. It is a guide for every person, for everyday living.
- Cathleen Collinsworth, CDFA, MAFF, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, Master Analyst in Financial Forensics

This book is not just a Guide for those often-ignored Adult Children of Gray Divorces, but also a guide and support for therapists and even for those Gray parents contemplating a divorce. The authors' experience and commitment to this group is thoroughly and helpfully presented.
- Stu Webb, Founder of Collaborative Law concept
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Finally, an in-depth description of the effects of divorce on adult children. For too many years, I’ve listened to parents negate the effects of their divorce on their grown children. In Home Will Never Be the Same Again, the authors bring to life the depths of isolation and loneliness these children experience with no one to talk to and no way to understand their own emotions. Hughes and Fredenburg, through this ground-breaking book have given all of us in the field a new tool to help both divorcing parents and their children face this life transition in a way that leads to healing instead of family destruction.
- -- Nancy Ross, LCSW, BCD, Divorce Coach, Mediator, Trainer, Psychotherapist, Communication Specialist for Trusts and Estates

Home Will Never Be the Same Again is written from the minds and souls of two seasoned therapists who have spent decades working with these Adult Children, supporting them, and helping them to manage their pain, to move forward in a bewildering and disorienting world, and, indeed, to create new family traditions. Carol Hughes and Bruce Fredenburg seamlessly blend their practical experiences with the real-life experiences of their clients to create a highly readable book. This book is about learning to heal. But it’s also insightful for anyone else who cares for the people described in it, including (and especially) the Adult Child’s parents.
- Joryn Jenkins, Collaborative Lawyer, Changing the Way the World Gets Divorced™

Two experienced therapists share illustrative stories that shed light on the impact on grown children and families when their parents' long-term marriage comes apart. Not only is it a helpful resource for adult children but it will help parents understand how to minimize the harmful effects of their divorce.
- - Constance Ahrons, PhD, Author of The Good Divorce and We're Still Family

It has been my honor and privilege to work with both Carol and Bruce on numerous collaborative and mediation cases over the last 15 years. Having worked with both of these professionals it is not surprising the depth of understanding and insight they bring to this book. Home Will Never Be the Same Again provides invaluable information, encouragement, and recovery options for anyone having experienced the trauma a divorce, especially to adult children of divorce. To my knowledge this is the only book to directly address the issues of adult children of divorce, their struggles, expectations, failures, and triumphs. I strongly urge anyone who has gone through a divorce, or whose parents have gone through a divorce, to read this extraordinarily well researched and well written book by two extremely experienced practitioners of the peace-making out-of-court process.
- - Marvin L. Chapman, PsyD, LMFT, CFC, Collaborative and Mediation Divorce Coach and Trainer

This book belongs in the hands of every adult child and parent of “gray divorce,” and every therapist, mediator, and family lawyer involved with later-life divorcing families. Despite a 40-year low in US divorce, the divorce rate has doubled for couples over 50 and tripled for those over-65. Home Will Never Be the Same Again evocatively captures the often-devastating, and too often totally unexpected, impact of this rising rate of “gray divorce” on young adult and adult children. Carol Hughes and Bruce Fredenburg have given us a thorough, compassionate, and accessible book that weaves together a wide range of relevant research with their work as clinicians and mediators. Each chapter offers both deep understanding and extremely practical guidance for adult children and their parents, as well as for helping professionals involved with them.
- - Patricia L. Papernow, author of Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships: What Works and What Doesn’t, and (with Karen Bonnell) The Stepfamily Handbook: From Dating to Getting Serious to Forming a “Blended Family.”
Here is the link - https://www.amazon.com/Home-Will-Never-Same-Again/dp/1538135302

03/25/2020

None of us can see our own backside. We
really do need one another.

Virginia Satir