Karin Draper, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

11/06/2023

Couples therapy is not only for couples experiencing relational crisis -- it's a valuable investment for happy couples in many different seasons! In this blog I discuss some of the scenarios in which couples therapy can be very valuable to couples who are otherwise generally content. Many of my favorite couples to work with over the years have been those who have a strong foundation of love and desire to strengthen their relationships by processing through past traumas, different parenting styles, or their differing cultures.

A look into the reasons why you and your partner may need couples therapy, even when your relationship feels healthy.

07/18/2022

My first blog post in a long time! In it I speak to the core negative beliefs that influence our emotional experiences and how we view ourselves, others, and the world. I also talk about how trauma creates and/or intensifies these beliefs and how EMDR can help.

Have you ever come away from an interaction with someone and felt overwhelmed because the intensity of your response did not match the intensity of the situation? This is especially challenging to navigate when a person has a trauma history and/or deeply embedded core negative beliefs. Learn more ab

07/24/2019

Do you feel like you are always there for everyone else, but no one is there for you? Maybe you have lots of friends but don't know who you would turn to if you actually needed real help. Or maybe you intentionally keep your friends at arm's distance because the thought of telling them what's really going on with you -- your depression, your trauma, your self doubt, your sexual orientation -- is absolutely terrifying. In this article, I discuss the process in steps of how to build friendships in which you can share the hard stuff. Adult relationships can be complicated, but you definitely don't need to walk through life feeling alone in your deepest struggles.

If you are the person who is always there for everyone else but it feels like no one is there for you, the person who intentionally keeps people at arm’s distance and your friends likely don’t have a clue you’re doing it, or the person who seemingly has hundreds of friends and is always with p...

06/24/2019

I wrapped up my last weekend of EMDR training this weekend with the Institute for Creative Mindfulness in Los Angeles. I'm IN AWE of how this approach is able to access the entire brain -- including the areas where traumatic memories are stored (which typically can't be touched by talk therapy) -- and literally create new connections. I've done therapy for complex trauma for years and am so excited to continue using this new approach. I have hope for new layers of healing as well as quicker, more effective treatment for trauma and anxiety!

04/25/2019

I enjoyed contributing to this recent Bustle article on subtle personality traits that are more likely to be associated with infidelity.

I’m of the belief that every one of us is capable of cheating on our partner if we let aspects of our lives go unchecked, and the best prevention that we can do is to 1) Foster honesty in the relationship, especially about the hard stuff that’s easy to avoid, and 2) Build awareness about our own weaknesses, needs, and blind spots so we can give them the appropriate attention needed while not letting them rule our decisions.

My hope is that people reading this article who recognize some of these traits within themselves (because the traits are general enough that most everyone will recognize one/some) will have clarification and awareness of further areas of growth to seek, so they can increase the health of their relationships. Therapy is a great space to begin this growth process, as an individual or as a couple!

While there are always a lot of factors at play, when it comes to infidelity, there are quite a few personality traits that can mean a person will be more likely to cheat. After all, our "personality traits play a significant role in how we behave,…

04/08/2019

Here’s a sneak peek of my new full-time office near the Laguna Hills/Irvine border! I’ve had so much fun creating the space that my clients will continue to do courageous, healing work in. Oh, and there’s coffee — coffee is important :)

02/19/2019

Anxiety has many manifestations. Therapy can provide you with the skills and techniques for coping with and decreasing the effects of anxiety in your life, but more importantly can also support you in exploring and giving voice to the feelings and experiences underlying your anxiety. You don’t need to face it alone.

02/16/2019

This is SO challenging to implement but so very valuable. When possible, choose to put your energy and emotions toward the important stuff.

02/03/2019

If you’ve ever done something for your partner that you thought was amazing, but it seemed to fall flat or they weren’t as excited as you expected, a difference in love languages may provide a helpful explanation. We all have preferences in showing and receiving love, and it’s very important for partners to know and honor one another’s love preferences. If you aren’t sure what your partner’s love language is, look at this chart and ask them — and then share yours!

Here's how to speak your partner's love language.

(Image via The Ladies Coach)

01/30/2019

Does having a steady meditation or mindfulness practice in your life sound ideal but far-fetched given your busy schedule? If so, you are far from being alone, and I also have great news for you -- there are many ways to incorporate a rich mindfulness practice into your daily routines without adding time to your day! A little curiosity, non-judgmental observation, and self compassion goes a long ways. In this article, I give you tips for how to transform five daily activities into fulfilling mindfulness practices to center yourself throughout your busy day.

Mindfulness is the moment-to-moment awareness of your physical, mental, and emotional state, all through a lens of curiosity and non-judgment. Many people employ mindfulness techniques to evoke a sense of calm through grounding themselves in the present. Regardless of where you feel your me

01/28/2019

I work with so many kind-hearted, selfless, sensitive healer-types who tend to end up in relationships in which they give significantly more of themselves than the other person. These images and words are beautiful reminders of the importance of healthy boundaries — when we ensure our own cup is filled, we have so much more to freely pour out to others.

How you assert yourself and your boundaries? Share in the comments below!

(Image via instagram.com/crazyheadcomics)

11/13/2018

We are entering into what can either be the happiest time of the year or the most dreaded — yes, the holiday season is about to be in full swing. It is common for grief to be reactivated, feelings of sadness or isolation to intensify, and for families who lean toward mess to be even messier than usual. Here are some tips for self care practices surrounding particular struggles to help you survive the holidays.

So often the holidays are viewed as a time of family connection, warmth, and meaningful celebration. However, for many, the holidays highlight losses, a lack of belonging, sorrow, and family dysfunction. Below are specific recommendations for holiday self care for different holiday ailments.