11/11/2025
With gratitude and love to our Veterans and their families...
When The Flag Folds
Every year on Veterans Day we gather to honor bravery, to acknowledge sacrifice, and, for some of us, to feel the sharp ache of remembrance that only loss can bring.
For those who’ve lost a veteran, whether a parent, spouse, sibling, child, or friend, the American flag becomes more than fabric and color. When that flag is presented at a funeral, folded with precision and care, it signifies a nation’s gratitude, a deep and enduring honor for a life lived in service.
Yet every time we see it, carefully displayed in the corner of a living room or cradled in a shadow box, we’re reminded not only of their service, but of their absence.
The flag whispers stories only we remember. The laughter at family barbecues, the stories that rolled out in the quiet after dinner, the warm steady presence in the house.
Here’s the thing…it stands as a tribute, yes, but also as proof of what we’ve lost.
While others salute those flags in parades, we might find our eyes stinging, caught off guard by the memory of that last embrace, the sound of Taps echoing through an empty space.
I know first hand what it feels like to be handed something so beautiful, so meaningful, in the worst of moments. To know, as the military chaplain presses that folded triangle into your hands, that you now carry a piece of a nation’s gratitude and your own unending grief.
I’ll never forget the pain of that moment, the coldness of the morning air, the weight of the folded flag in my hands, and the haunting notes of Taps playing softly in the background.
It was the most profound mix of honor and heartache I’ve ever known.
Sometimes, it feels like the world expects us to feel only pride.
And yes…we’re proud.
But we’re also hurting, missing, and longing for more time.
The flag is a gift…but it’s also a daily reminder. A silent witness to our heartbreak and our love.
If this Veterans Day you’re running your hands along the edges of that folded flag, I understand how honoring can also mean hurting.
And how gratitude…can be laced with grief.
To all the veteran's living and no longer with us...thank you for your service.
Gary Sturgis - Surviving Grief
