Sharon Newhof Counseling LLC

06/10/2022

Turning towards is about the everyday efforts you make to connect with your partner and accept their bids for connection.

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04/29/2022

Preparing for a loved one’s death is never easy. These tips can help you become better equipped to handle grief when the time comes.

04/22/2022

Validation is powerful. Spending just five minutes a day expressing appreciation and admiration for your partner can be a gift to your relationship. Statements of appreciation might sound like:

“I’m proud of you.”
"I feel ____ when you ______."
“I'm so impressed that you _____.”
“I like how you _____.”

For more tips on how to spend six hours a week to improve your relationship, sign up for our newsletter for this month's free download: https://bit.ly/30JWG2H

04/20/2022

Next time you feel the urge to correct your partner's behavior, try connecting with them first.

This means making an effort to understand our partner’s experiences, perspective, and reasoning before jumping in to correct them or “fix” what you think they’re doing wrong.

The Candidly spoke with Gottman Institute Research Director Dr. Don Cole about the importance of curiosity over correction. Read more: https://bit.ly/3zHjsbv

04/07/2022

Sometimes a funny text message is more than just a funny text message.

04/01/2022

04/01/2022

For some, it's using a codeword like "avocado."
For others, it might be raising their hands.
It may be just saying, "I'm feeling overwhelmed and need a break."

All of these, as silly as they may sound, are a chance to stop stonewalling in its tracks. The antidote to stonewalling is to stop, drop, and soothe.

Before conflict even begins, agree on a neutral signal that will call a stop to the conversation. When that signal is invoked, drop the conversation for a few minutes to give everyone a chance to cool off. Then take that time to do something to soothe yourself before returning to the conversation.

What kind of a signal do you use with your partner when you need a break?

This post is not meant to address situations of abuse. Social media is not a substitute for individualized support.

03/19/2022

7. Acknowledge their emotions, then walk away.

03/16/2022

Why does contempt in a relationship predict divorce so strongly? It's impossible to build connection when your relationship is deprived of respect. Contempt is fueled by long-simmering negative thoughts about one’s partner, and it arises in the form of an attack on someone’s sense of self.

Please note: this post is not meant to address situations of abuse. For immediate support, please contact thehotline.org.

03/09/2022

Decades of research to nearly 93% accuracy: See Dr. John Gottman's predictors of divorce.

01/30/2022

What's behind stonewalling and gaslighting? Here's what they look like and how to cope.