Knot Counseling

Knot Counseling Relationships Reimagined

12/28/2025

If you’re close to someone long enough, you will hurt their feelings.

Not because you’re careless.

Not because you’re failing.

But because closeness brings contact — and contact bumps old wounds.

The goal of a healthy relationship isn’t zero hurt.
It’s learning how to notice it, name it, and repair it together.

12/28/2025

An “I feel” statement isn’t passive.
It’s a full-body action.

When you say “I feel hurt” or “I feel scared,” you’re not just sharing information —
you’re inviting someone into your inner world.

Vulnerability pulls people toward you.
It opens the door.
It creates gravity.

A “you” statement, on the other hand, is a push behavior.
“You never listen.”
“You always shut down.”

Even when it’s true…
It pushes people away, into defense, shame, or counterattack.

Same conflict.
Very different physics.

👉 I-statements = pull
👉 You-statements = push

And connection almost always happens in the pull.

(Yes, it feels riskier.
Yes, it works better.)





12/27/2025

Most couples don’t stay stuck because of the original disagreement.

They get stuck in the secondary fight.

That’s the argument about:
• tone
• timing
• delivery
• who escalated
• who shut down
• who said that one thing

Suddenly the original issue is long gone…
and now you’re debating how you fought instead of what you were fighting about.

This is where patterns take over.
Defensiveness meets criticism.
Withdrawal meets pursuit.
And repair never quite lands.

The work isn’t about avoiding conflict.
It’s about learning how to interrupt the secondary fight and come back to connection—before things spiral.

Because most couples don’t need fewer disagreements.

They need better recovery.

(And yes—this is very learnable.)

12/21/2025

Can you see through their anger?

Past the irritation.
Past the defensiveness.
Past the sharp tone, the judgment, the shutdown.

Can you see what’s actually there?

Most reactions aren’t attacks.
They’re signals.

Underneath anger is usually:
• hurt
• fear
• feeling unseen
• longing for reassurance
• not knowing how to ask differently

Healthy relationships aren’t built on perfect reactions.
They’re built on the ability to pause and wonder:

“What’s this really about?”

When you respond to the feeling underneath the behavior,
everything changes.

— Knot Counseling

You don’t have to keep replaying the same argument on repeat. Learn the Do-Over Dialogue and turn “Here we go again” int...
11/28/2025

You don’t have to keep replaying the same argument on repeat. Learn the Do-Over Dialogue and turn “Here we go again” into “Here’s how we fix it.”















Counseling Can Prevent Divorce Early support makes all the difference. Many couples wait until it feels too late. Counse...
11/26/2025

Counseling Can Prevent Divorce
Early support makes all the difference.

Many couples wait until it feels too late. Counseling helps repair trust and rebuild connection before damage becomes permanent.

💬 Start couples therapy today.
www.knotcounseling.com

Healing is possible. Connection is within reach. Take the first step toward a stronger relationship today. 💬 Schedule yo...
11/25/2025

Healing is possible.
Connection is within reach.
Take the first step toward a stronger relationship today.

💬 Schedule your consultation now.
www.knotcounseling.com

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12211 W Alameda Pkwy, Suite 104
Lakewood, CO
80228

Telephone

+17205835668

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