Firm Foundations Marriage & Family Therapy PLLC

Firm Foundations Marriage & Family Therapy PLLC I help individuals, couples, and families to build the firm foundations of healthy relationships tha ABOUT ME:
My name is Dr. Sharon Deacon. Why Purdue?

I am a NY State Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and have been practicing in my field since 1995. Similar to a family physician with an M.D. that treats the whole family, I have a Ph.D. to provide psychotherapy to individuals of all ages and in all stages. While I am open to treating adults, adolescents, and children with various problems and concerns, I specialize in treating marital/couple issues, sexual problems, relationship problems, and family conflicts. I also have a niche in providing therapy to other therapists and “helping professionals” (counselors, healthcare providers, physicians, etc), because we are not immune to the problems we treat! I believe my job is to encourage you with hope for change, suggest new approaches and resolutions to your problems, serve as another set of eyes and ears to help you understand the issue more deeply, and teach you skills to move you closer to your goals. I strongly believe that healthy couples create healthy families, made up of well-adjusted individuals that form a healthy community and make the world a better place! Lofty and idealistic, I know, but I really believe that a better world and more fulfilled lives start with strong marriages and healthy families. That’s why I created Firm Foundations for Families- 10 Building Blocks for a Healthy Family! I use that model to guide all the counseling and teaching I provide. I sincerely value healthy, loving relationships and I want to help everyone else create the kind of relationships that enrich our days and add meaning to our lives! I hope you can see the passion I have for the work I do! But even better, I actually have some really great education and training to back it up and make me better qualified to do it! I have a Bachelor's Degree in Psychology, with a minor in Education from SUNY Fredonia. From Purdue University, I received my Masters degree in Behavioral Sciences/Marriage and Family Therapy (MFT) and my Doctorate in Child Development & Family Studies, with a specialization in Marriage and Family Therapy (MFT). Because at the time of my schooling it was the top-rated program in the country for MFT. That means, I trained under the best researchers, practitioners, and educators in my field to learn evidenced-based models for doing therapy. I have won numerous research and writing awards, published articles on practicing MFT, wrote for some national magazines on marriage and family topics, and wrote a few books in my field. I have also been a professor of mental health, psychology, and/or family therapy at various institutions including Purdue University, Houghton College, and Medaille College. So you can see that I really have invested in my field and work because I love what I do! Besides being passionate and qualified, I practice what I preach! I won’t suggest that you do anything that I, myself, have not or would not be willing to do! I have been married for 25+ years and have four children. Life at my house can be crazy at times. . .we laugh a lot, we cry sometimes, we argue, we struggle with screen time, we compete ferociously at family games, we struggle with our own mental and emotional issues, and sometimes we end up in a crisis and need a break from it all (not a Ross and Rachel kind of break. . .just a cooling off period)! But, we keep on learning, and saying “I’m sorry,” and trying to do it better the next time. I grew up Catholic, and have practiced my faith as a born again Christian for 20+ years. I strive to keep my faith at the center of all I do. I enjoy photography, graphic design, scrapbooking, painting, arts and crafts, hiking to waterfalls, reading, cooking, and exploring new places. If I could serve you warm chocolate chip cookies in my therapy room, I would, because I do believe they make everything better!

https://www.firmfoundationsmft.com/blog/why-trust-matters
01/25/2023

https://www.firmfoundationsmft.com/blog/why-trust-matters

One of the deepest and most profound emotional wounds a person can suffer is broken trust.  Whether it is abuse by a loved one, infidelity, unkept promises, lack of transparency, hidden addictions, blatant lies, or downright deceit, broken trust shakes the core of our security and safety

November ushers in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season for most folks.  Between holiday gatherings and holiday p...
11/01/2022

November ushers in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season for most folks. Between holiday gatherings and holiday prep, finding time for a date might seem a bit daunting.

With darkness creeping in so early in our neck of the woods, our evenings seem to get longer and longer. We therefore have a bit more time to sit around after dinner. I love to play games and this extra downtime works out perfectly for such an activity! While my husband is not as much of a gamer-lover, add some fun wagers and competitive stakes and his motivation amps up! We grab some drinks and snacks, set-up at the kitchen table, and engage in some sarcastic, good-natured competition. We always have a lot of laughs and neither of us ultimately loses in the end because the prize always turns out to be a win-win for us as a couple!

This is the kind of month when simple and informal is probably the better route to take! Rely on an old standby that you have both enjoyed in the past, that does not require much thought or creativity. Maybe you both enjoy going to the movies, or binge watching a tv series, or playing games. Whatever it is, just set aside some uninterrupted time to make it happen!

firmfoundationsmft.com

Fall is such a delightful season full of it’s own character and blessings.  In the Northeast, Fall promises a palette of...
10/02/2022

Fall is such a delightful season full of it’s own character and blessings. In the Northeast, Fall promises a palette of colors and scents that tops all of the other seasons. It seems everyone can find something to love about Fall. . .the crisp air, the beautiful changing leaves, the taste of pumpkin-flavored anything, the bountiful harvest, the coming of the holiday season. . . My Fall bucket list is pretty standard and pretty full, so there is never much brainstorming needed when we have time for a Fall date! We just wait for a nice day, play hookie from work, and go!

If you have been following my blog, you know my husband and I love taking drives. In the Fall, we wait for the leaves to reach their peak, and then coast along some country roads to enjoy the scenery. It’s the perfect time to stop at country stores for nostalgic candy and homemade treats. We visit gift shops for seasonal home decor, antique marts for unique treasures, and farm stands for concord grapes and fresh-picked apples. Then we come home and make soup together and throw an apple crisp in the oven for dessert. It’s a full day of Fall fun!

The landscape of the Fall season is the perfect backdrop for romance. Don’t let it go to waste!

firmfoundationsmft.com/blog

When summer winds down and routines settle back in, it is easy to lose that sense of discovery, spontaneity, and freedom...
09/03/2022

When summer winds down and routines settle back in, it is easy to lose that sense of discovery, spontaneity, and freedom as a couple. Days get shorter, family life gets busier, and work beckons more energy and focus. But your marriage still requires your attention and effort to remain a buffer against all of the other stressors that start piling up. So, be sure to keep on dating!

One of the activities I look forward to every fall is attending high school football games with my husband. Friday nights are not a usual date night for us because we are usually exhausted and don’t have much energy after a full week’s worth of work. But Fridays in September, we rearrange our schedules to accommodate the football season. Initially, we went to games as a family because our son played football. However, now my husband and I go regardless of whether our kids are involved or are even attending the games. We love the feeling of being joined with our community, catching up with friends and neighbors, cheering on the home team of a school district we have been part of for 20 years, and snuggling up on the bleachers like we are in high school again.

Dates don’t require privacy and seclusion. They can simply be showing up at a public event as a couple in a way that broadcasts to the world, “We go together!”

When I was a teenager (in the greatest decade of all- the 1980s), one of my favorite things to do was drive around with ...
08/30/2022

When I was a teenager (in the greatest decade of all- the 1980s), one of my favorite things to do was drive around with all the windows down, blaring music, and singing along with the intensity of all the emotion I had inside. It gave me a sense of ultimate freedom, rebellion, and release. I think I got the idea from spending many spring breaks in Florida with my family. Returning home from dinner, we would drive down the beach strip, in bumper to bumper traffic, passing carloads of college kids with the music turned up and the wind blowing through their hair. They didn’t seem to have a care in the world, other than having a good time with their friends. I wanted that too!

Hot August nights are perfect for re-creating that sense of carefree freedom. Whether it is after a dinner out or after doing dishes at home, my husband and I love to just get in the car and drive. I still turn down the windows and turn up the music on long stretches of highway. (Yep, we are now that old couple that acts like teenagers!) My heart melts as my husband sings to me or we belt out 80s love songs together as we recapture the freedom of our youth.

On more refined nights, we drive through historic or affluent neighborhoods and peek through the windows of houses all lit up after dark. We think about who might live there and the stories of their lives. We look for landscaping ideas, interior design, and architectural creativity. We always stop and sigh when we spot a big front porch made for sipping lemonade or sweet tea on wooden rocking chairs. It’s vicarious living at it’s best!

Dating doesn’t have to be a well-orchestrated, detailed event. It just needs to be spending time alone, with the one you love most, while the world goes on!

https://www.firmfoundationsmft.com/blog/august-12-dates-for-couples-in-2022

There is nothing more romantic to me than the beach at sunset.  The sound of the waves, the colors of the sky, the setti...
07/01/2022

There is nothing more romantic to me than the beach at sunset. The sound of the waves, the colors of the sky, the setting sun. . .it just seems to take my stress away. I forget about the woes of the world and the worries of my world and just live in that present moment. Sharing that moment with my husband always leads me to reflect on our relationship and the special bond that we have.

So, any time my husband and I plan a summer date, I almost always seek out a water destination at sunset time. Sometimes we get dressed up and enjoy some fine dining on the waterfront. But most times, we prefer to go comfy and relaxed, with little prep time needed. We throw a blanket and some beach chairs in the trunk and pick up take out food on the way there. We usually opt for pizza, specialty sandwiches, or chinese! I like to prepare some strawberries and fresh whipped cream or melted chocolate for dipping to bring along for dessert.

Getting there a bit after dinner time, the beach has usually cleared out of kids and young families and there is plenty of space to allow us a private picnic. We eat and dunk our toes in the water as we wait for the sun to go down. A nice walk on the sand, holding hands, settles the food and our minds.

If the beach has lifeguard stands, we love to climb up and feed each other dessert there. From that point, we can usually see twinkling city lights in the distance. We often stay much past sunset, listening to our favorite playlist as we watch the lights of boats as they pass by. We talk about whatever is on our hearts and dream up plans for the future while we stargaze.

It is refreshment that breathes contentment into our relationship and renews our souls! Head toward the water and find some renewal with your favorite person!

In 2022, I challenge you to go on at least one date per month with your partner. I’ll even provide you with the ideas. All you have to do is to commit the time!

Post pictures of your dates and tag them:

So my husband is more of a sports fan and I enjoy the arts.  As the years have passed, we have both learned to find plea...
06/03/2022

So my husband is more of a sports fan and I enjoy the arts. As the years have passed, we have both learned to find pleasure in watching each other indulge in our own interests.

I used to be jealous of how excited my husband got on Sunday afternoons during football season. I wondered why he never showed that same enthusiasm for spending time with me. Instead of making an issue of it, I decided to join him and see what his excitement was all about. I began to take the seat next to him on the couch on Sundays, often doing my own activity. I watched him work out all kinds of emotions as he cheered or scolded his team. I began to ask questions and he taught me about the game. Soon, I found myself glancing up from my book or laptop more and more, to see what was happening on the tv. By the end of the season, I looked forward to rooting for our team together every Sunday afternoon. It became a Fall tradition for us that I actually looked forward to!

And then when summer came around, it didn’t take much to convince my husband to join me at an art show or craft festival. He also quickly learned to vicariously enjoy things through my eyes. I discovered that as long as I kept a snack in his hand, he was happy to browse with me and find new decor for our home. He even started to know my style and surprised me with gifts from my favorite artists.

When you love someone, you can find joy simply by witnessing them enjoy the activities that they love! And sometimes, the joy even becomes contagious!

In 2022, I challenge you to go on at least one date per month with your partner. I’ll even provide you with the ideas. All you have to do is to commit the time!

Post pictures of your dates and tag them:



https://www.firmfoundationsmft.com/blog

My husband and I love to explore new places.  So one year, I made a list of every town, state, and county park within a ...
05/01/2022

My husband and I love to explore new places. So one year, I made a list of every town, state, and county park within a two-hour radius. Our goal was to visit each park by the end of the year. Sometimes we explored alone, and other times, we brought the kids with us.

That year, we found so many great treasures right in our own neck of the woods. We hiked along some amazing waterfalls, enjoyed the view of many canyons and landscapes, discovered really cool playgrounds and swimming holes, and got some great exercise. My husband even started collecting heart shaped rocks that we would stumble on our meanderings. We enjoyed some deep conversations on the car rides to and from the parks and philosophized about life as we traveled on foot together. It is wondrous what fresh air can do for your perspective! We didn’t make it to all the parks that year, but it didn’t matter. . .the joy was in the journey!

In 2022, I challenge you to go on at least one date per month with your partner. I’ll even provide you with the ideas. All you have to do is to commit the time!

https://www.firmfoundationsmft.com/blog

Post pictures of your dates and tag them:

Happy Resurrection Sunday!
04/17/2022

Happy Resurrection Sunday!

ASK:  Do I have to see a Couples Therapist near me?If you are open to virtual sessions, the answer to this one is “no.” ...
04/02/2022

ASK: Do I have to see a Couples Therapist near me?

If you are open to virtual sessions, the answer to this one is “no.” You can see any therapist who is licensed in your state of residence. Therefore, you have a wide range of choices and opportunities to find someone who fits your needs and meets your qualifications. In New York State, while the therapist does not need to be physically present in the state to provide therapy, you do. Therefore, if you plan to travel or reside in two different states, be aware that you need to physically be in the state your therapist is licensed in when you participate in your sessions. Alternatively, you may be able to find a therapist who is licensed in multiple states.

https://www.firmfoundationsmft.com/blog/google-search-marriage-therapist-near-me-what-you-need-to-know-about-finding-a-couples-therapist

.sharondeacon

Address

Broadway
Lancaster, NY
14086

Opening Hours

Monday 8am - 7pm
Tuesday 8am - 4pm
Wednesday 9am - 7pm
Thursday 8am - 4pm

Telephone

+17162162165

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