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HOPE Coaching

HOPE Coaching
Healing ~ Overcoming ~ Persevering ~ Enduring We are not meant to journey through difficult seasons alone. Contact H.O.P.E. Coaching today!

Coaching for help with healing from or overcoming difficult circumstances. Or, if your journey requires you to persevere and push through to the other side of your circumstances, let someone come alongside you to help you endure the journey.

07/07/2024

Yep.
I don't "keep up" with others, or compare myself to others.
I celebrate individuality and cheer others on to live their best life.
I try not to judge but will definitely discern.
I watch behavior far more than I weigh words.

You do you, Boo. You have my support. 💜

09/28/2023

Capture a little beauty every day. It's a great way to lift your mood and relax the body. 💜

07/22/2023

Just finished watching "Take Care of Maya" on Netflix. Based on my viewing experience, and through my clinically trained mental health advocate lens:

It's a documentary about medical gaslighting (which leads to misdiagnosis and harmful medical care), severe levels of overreaching by those in a position of power as well as those in assumed positions of power (but go radically unchecked and therefore not held accountable), and it's about the very broken systems in this country, specifically the medical, child protective services, and justice systems.

It includes a few, quite clear examples of the ethnic biases that are STILL very prevalent in our medical and justice systems. (Heaven forbid a European-American woman communicate in an assertive and direct manner when speaking to medical personnel.)

It is yet another story of "I'm a doctor, I am smarter than you, and you can't possibly know anything about your own body (or, in this case, your child's body)." [Been there, experienced that.] And even though the person advocating for their child in this specific story was also an educated and trained Registered Nurse, the doctors STILL took this stance.

It's yet another example of how a disease, disorder, or illness simply "can't" exist if the treating clinicians haven't heard of it or don't have any training or education specific to it. AND, in this case, even though there are two specialists that could have easily been contacted and consulted with, the treating clinicians had already decided to go a legal route and closed the doors to actually learning about a disease they were unaware of, which resulted in mistreatment and lack of appropriate, effective medical care for a child who could not adequately advocate for herself.

I'm disgusted, heartbroken, and very angry on behalf of the Kowalski family and plenty others who've been subjected to this type of harm by the medical community, followed by harm from a child protective services agency, and/or the justice system.

Yes, I am aware there are excellent doctors and hospitals in our country. Yes, I am fully aware there are hundreds of thousands of valid cases in this country where DFS/CPS is truly protecting and advocating for the child. Yes, I am aware there are attorneys and judges in this country who constantly strive for excellence in carrying out their duties to authentically uphold justice. This post, and this documentary on Netflix, are not about any of them.

I encourage you to watch the documentary. If you feel moved to discuss it, I encourage you to do so - and to join the communities of people who are hoping to help Maya's voice be heard in court.Please keep it respectful and focused on urging change and improvement.

07/19/2023

Perfectionism...
People pleasing...
Passiveness...

You might think these are about helping others, supporting others, and caring about others.

If we're striving for a perfect relationship, it must be because we want our friend/partner/spouse to feel safe and validated, right?

If we're always trying to keep others happy, it must mean we care about them, right?

If we keep cool and don't say anything that might rock the boat, it must mean we're just trying to keep the peace, right?

Wrong.

All of these are about insecurity leading to codependent behaviors. One's own insecurity prompts one or more of these strategies - perfectionism, people pleasing, passiveness. This form of codependency is all about trying to get others to accept and validate the one who participates in it.

Could that be you? Are you using one or more of these strategies?
I see you. I see your sweet, caring heart, Friend.

And I know none of these strategies have gotten you exactly what you'd been hoping for.
You are worthy of safe, healthy relationships. That all starts with you - a healthy you. It takes a healthy self esteem, healthy communication skills, healthy boundaries, and a very clear understanding of how incredibly valuable you are. 💜

08/05/2022

The Phoenix
Written by Krista Lacroix

She was used.
She was abused.
She was taken advantage of.
She was manipulated and coerced.
She was diminished, dismissed, and discarded.

The flames of mistreatment and intentional harm constantly encircled her.
She fought them with all her might.
Her strength and quiet resolve were her main weapons.
Her faith and determination were her most effective battle plans.

She sought knowledge.
She sought growth.
She sought change.
She sought to love her enemy.

The flames kept coming.
The enemy was assisted by the flames.
The enemy turned away from her genuine love and burned all bridges to connect him to that love.

The flames kept growing despite her authenticity.

She became engulfed by the flames.

The flames sought to tear away all of what made her great…
…her knowledge
…her strength
…her quiet humility
…her virtuous love
…her warmth
…her compassion
…her passion
…her humor
…her empathy
…her love
…her dreams
…her accomplishments

She involuntarily succumbed to the flames.
The fight was too much.
She needed rest.
The flames brought a strange comfort.
The flames also brought great discomfort.

So she mustered her strength from the ashes.
She called forth her power from beneath the ashes.
She reformed her knowledge with the ashes.
She developed wings laden with the jewels of her inner strength, set in the ashes meant to diminish her.

She rose, using everything her wings would give.
She formed a new body, using the ashes as a concrete foundation.
She beautifully clothed herself in faith, grace, mercy, elegance, power, and love.
She recalled the flames and forged a crown of grace which is worn with humility.

She addressed the elements.
She instructed the wind to serve as energy for her wings.
She instructed the earth to serve as a steady foundation.
She instructed the seas to carry her passion and her dreams to new destinations.
She instructed the flames to be mindful of their reach and to obey her boundaries of safety and warmth.

She used her inner phoenix to rise from the ashes.
She tends to her inner phoenix to honor its service.
She tends to her new body by strengthening it.
She tends to her renewed mind by obeying her God.

She welcomes those who do the same.
She welcomes those who want to do the same but don’t yet know how.
She welcomes those who learn and make the effort to grow.
She welcomes genuine love and authenticity.

May she be rewarded with daily renewal of her mind.
May she be loved safely and beautifully for the rest of her days.
May she always remember that the fire cannot consume or destroy her, but it can be used to forge her, if she so chooses.

The Phoenix has risen and is thriving.

08/01/2021

"If you can't anything nice, don't say anything at all."

Did anyone else grow up hearing that?

As a kid, I often felt I was being shamed in the moment, when that statement was being directed at me. As an adult, I fully understand the powerful and appropriate lesson in that statement, and I'm grateful to my mom for her frequent use of it. (Yes, I am the reason she had to use it frequently.) 🥴😉

Sadly, it's obvious to me that there are a LOT of people who either never heard that statement while growing up, OR they've ignored the lesson. Unkindness is at an epidemic level - especially on social media, but also quite present in mainstream media. It's everywhere... The grocery store, in traffic, in workplaces, in social gathering places, and even in places of worship.

There's an easy remedy. Simple kindness. A kind word or action. And if each of us would just take a moment - even a very small moment - to practice kindness, we can quickly create a ripple effect that will eventually rival the epidemic.

Smile as you pass by a neighbor....
Hold the door open for the person behind you...
Help pick up something someone dropped...
Let that other driver change lanes in front of you - whether they used a turn signal or not...
Simply scroll past that post instead of lashing out against what was stated...
Say thank you...

And if you're grumpy, for goodness sakes, don't answer the phone, don't hang out on social media, and don't watch the news! Instead, recognize you're the one in need of kindness at the moment - treat yourself to a little self care and tend to your own heart and mind.

Be kind. Spread kindness. Receive kindness.

💜

07/03/2021

Boundaries (my favorite B-word) and
Forgiveness (my favorite F-word) 😉

It's definitely a good thing to forgive - because it releases you from the burden of holding onto things like hurt feelings, offense, resentment, anger, and sadness. It also takes the burden of justice off your shoulders. (After all, you can't actually achieve righteous or satisfactory justice when you're covered in the yuck of negative emotion and operating from a hardened, judgmental heart.)

It's also a good thing to put limitations on how much - if any - access a toxic person, or a "frenemy", has to you. This is where healthy boundaries can protect you from a repeat of the toxicity you have already endured.

It's not always necessary to completely cut someone out of your life. If they've not shown you much love, but they've also not been hurtful, then your boundary with them can be less rigid than with someone who has intentionally harmed you. So, when you think of boundaries, be sure you're not automatically thinking "high, thick, barbed-wire-topped walls". That's just a prison - and you'd be putting yourself in it.

But, it may be necessary to limit or minimize the access or the connection. If someone has made it clear they are not safe to fully open up to, then make sure you're paying attention and are able to identify the limits they've set forth. Don't try to push past those limits, because by doing so, you become the toxic person.

Love may make the world go 'round, but boundaries makes it do so safely. 💜

06/30/2021

Take time to smell the roses.....or the daisies.....or the pizza.....or the cookies baking in the oven.....or the rain...

Whatever scent automatically transforms your mood and relaxes your mind - take time to intentionally fill up on that. 💜

06/24/2021

Let your yes be yes; let your no be no.
Only say "yes" when you want to, otherwise, say "no" because you're capable of respecting others while honoring yourself.
💜

06/17/2021

It seems kindness has gone out of style, leaving us with an abundance of grumpiness, mean-spirited words and behaviors, and a culture of offense-driven rage.

Enough.

Let's get back to the basics of loving one another while respecting each other. Showing kindness is a form of love. Kindly listening, met with kind speech, can result in a loving conversation - which can prompt healthy problem solving efforts.

Healthy boundaries is a form of love.
Supporting individuality without harsh judgement is a form of love.
Encouraging one another is a form of love.
Self care is a form of love.

What are you doing to show kindness and love today?

💜

06/11/2021

You, my friend, have fantastic qualities! Be sure to recognize them, be proud of them, and enjoy the benefits of sharing them with others.
💜

06/02/2021

I've seen a lot of social media posts that say, essentially, "How others treat me is a reflection of their character; how I respond is a reflection of my character."

But, I think that's missing a huge, important couple of pieces:
"How others treat me is a reflection of their character and is based on how I am perceived by them; how I respond is a reflection of my character and is based on how I perceive myself."

And, in a lot of cases (not all), how I perceive myself precedes how someone else sees me. In other words, if I have low self esteem and I don't care well for myself, I am likely sending the message that others don't need to care about - or respect - me, either.

Or, if I am insecure and therefore openly judgmental of others, then I'm teaching others to be judgmental of me.

Or, if I value myself and I value others, then I am not only creating a safe space for connection and vulnerability, but I am teaching others about my boundaries while allowing them to teach me their boundaries. A mutual respect and appreciation becomes the foundation of a healthy relationship.

What messages are you sending about you? Do they need to be improved or strengthened?

💜

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