10/28/2025
Pity party for one please ☝️
PAIN 😖 When my doctor found something to make the 24/7 nausea go away I was SO grateful. I could finally focus again and enjoy parts of my day.
There was just pain left. No big deal right? I kept telling myself ‘I can handle pain, I will just stay busy and push through it’. But the pain never goes away, it comes and goes in waves most of the time. Work makes it worse but I deal with it for my clients. Then there’s days it constant stabbing burning pain. Days like that my only choice is go to bed with a heating pad and try to sleep through it. Another problem is I can’t predict when a flare is going to happen. I could be good patient eating my bland mushy food diet and still be in total pain. Doctors have no answers they just keep saying to have a food diary, stick to plain soft foods and rest when needed.
Then add ANXIETY 😥 ‘Will it get better in time for my first client?!” I had a client walk in when I was doubled over in pain’ she had to leave. Then ‘when is it going to hit? In the middle of a massage client?!’ It’s so embarrassing 😳 telling a client I can’t finish because I’ll have to spend the next hour in the bathroom” 🤦♀️ I’ve had to tell them to pay later and cancel the rest of my day -giving no notice.
Anxiety about finances 😢 I don’t get paid sick days. This puts extra burden on my husband. Insurance for my office and home is already almost $800 because it’s considered a commercial building. Even if i closed my business it would still be high. Plus the holidays coming up … but thats not a true worry. Many people have a lot less.
I’m exhausted, in pain, mentally and physically raw. Hopelessness is sitting in and all I want to do is sleep. I’m grateful for my husband and son stepping up helping with chores. Grateful for my clients who are understanding and don’t give up on me. Grateful that I have an online support group full of people that are going through the same thing.
I’m not looking for sympathy I just need everyone to know why I’m so unreliable and always canceling last minute. I’m begging for more patience while I try to figure this out. I’m happy to give you name of other therapists in the area. I just need a little more time. Thank you for taking tge time to read this. Im grateful for each and every one of you 💞 - Nyla
