01/25/2026
I did a very brave thing. I traveled to a land that I had only visited in my dreams. I learned a little bit about a new culture. I engaged in a world that was completely and utterly foreign and half way around the world in an attempt to prove to myself that I could do it. And that its o.k to dream. Its o.k. to desire. Its o.k. to love fiercely from a distance without ever having experienced the real thing.
I also put myself in "danger". I was traveling alone as a woman in a world that is dominated by money grabbing, p***y grabbing and a general lack of respect for all things sacred, like a woman's right to live boldy. I am lucky. I came back home safe, unharmed, except for a burning desire to have been able to stay longer and feel "safe".
No, it wasn't a dramatic event. It was a small, insignificant encounter on a beach in Goa. I was relaxing at the shoreline, moving my body in yoga postures to help stretch and bring myself back into alignment. I picked an area of the beach without too much traffic. But all along I was aware of young men making "content" in videos on their phones. Not my concern. In fact, I was feeling free and didn't even bring my phone to the beach!! They weren't bothering me and I made sure I wasn't in the picture frames.
As I lay down in the sand a small pack of boys came up to me. One in particular. I didn't speak his language and he didn't speak mine but I knew he wanted one thing: a picture of my lily white skin against the backdrop of his buttery brown skin. He saw my brightness and he wanted to steal a reflection of his own. The only word I understood, because he said it repeatedly, was "SELFIE?"
NO I declared and stared into the distance. Again and again he persisted. As if he had the right to infringe upon my free will after the answer was entirely clear. He crossed my boundary!! My stomach started quivering. Again I said boldy NO. But we live in a world where women can be ignored and dismissed and misjudged until the rage, the fire that grows inside of us boils over and erupts. I ended up screaming profanity at him from a deep place, deep inside my wild heart. "I don't want a fu***ng selfie!" I screamed. "F**K OFF!"
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