Melland Janice RN LSCSW

01/02/2026

Excuse the f-bombs , but this article has a powerful message. https://www.blog.lifebranches.com/p/aging-out-of-f**ks-the-neuroscience?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&fbclid=IwY2xjawPEFIRleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBzcnRjBmFwcF9pZBAyMjIwMzkxNzg4MjAwODkyAAEeOhcQRHg9ZWF1tS3SGRVEkFu6d0ESKSAL1YJlIUMWOxI5IllRFsrJxZhA8Wk_aem_XIB5X6fn723QAktEgX13Xw

Your brain's middle finger to people-pleasing

12/29/2025

indeed, watch as many times as needed, doctor's orders

12/24/2025

12/23/2025

Here is my annual posting of HOW NOT TO FALL. from Amy Tan:

First, an update: In the last few months, three close friends fell and suffered significant injuries. One required stitches and had post-concussive syndrome. Two required surgery, very long hospitalizations, and ongoing therapy in a skilled nursing facility. One now has quadriplegia. They are all over 70.
Here are the reasons they fell: One tripped when not scanning ahead to see the tree roots that had broken up the path. Another had a cell phone tucked under her chin and books in her hands. She tripped on an old thin bath mat that had no anti-slip backing left. The other friend fell down steep winding stairs that were poorly lit.
There are alarming statistics concerning women over age 65 who suffer hip fractures from falls. According to one scientific study, the one year mortality rate was 27%, meaning 1 in 5 women will die in the first year, usually related to complications, such as blood clots, infection, additional falls, or pneumonia that can develop when a person is less mobile. And men don’t get a break, so to speak, with the statistics. They suffer more injuries and death from falling than women. Some of this may be due to the fact that men tend to place themselves in riskier fall situations, for example, cleaning gutters while standing on a tall ladder.
Since many of my followers are over 60, here is some advice to prevent falls. Most of them are my own “live and learn” lessons from falls I’ve had and the factors that put me at risk.
1. ALWAYS USE THE HANDRAIL WHEN TAKING THE STAIRS OR A STEEP INCLINE. Not counting spills in childhood, I estimate I’ve fallen down stairs a half-dozen times over my adult lifetime and for various reasons. I’ve tripped over things and fallen on stairs in the dark when what I thought was the last step was not the last. Most would not have happened if I had used a handrail. Consider installing handrails leading up to your front door. If you think you don’t need it, think about elderly friends or relatives who are not as fit as you.
2. CONSIDER AREAS WHERE HANDRAILS ARE NEEDED. Typically, these are places where a number of people have already fallen. Going down steps of the house. Going down pathways that are slippery in the rain or when covered with moss. Walking down uneven steps.
3. USE A FLASHLIGHT WHEN WALKING DOWN STEPS OUTDOORS. GIVE ONE TO GUESTS TO USE. If you have stairs leading to your front door and do not have a brightly lit path that illuminates steps ahead, use a flashlight. Although our stairs are lit, older guests may have impaired vision. I have about five rechargeable waterproof and extremely bright flashlights. Guests place the flashlights in our mailbox at the bottom of the stairs.
Consider adding reflective strips on stairs so that the edges of steps are apparent.
4. WHEN GETTING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, USE A PORTABLE LIGHT OR AUTO-ON NIGHTLIGHT. I’ve stumbled over dog toys, a slipper, a stool, etc. in the dark. I use one of those clip-on reading lights, which is always nearby for reading books. And before going to sleep, I check the path between the bed and the bathroom.
5. DON’T CARRY ITEMS IN BOTH HANDS WHILE DESCENDING STAIRS, INCLINES OR UNEVEN SURFACES. Those items may block you from seeing obstacles or uneven steps. A friend who used both hands to carry a car seat with her grandchild strapped into it missed the last step and managed to keep the baby from hitting the pavement but did some damage to herself. A friend insisted on carrying boxes of Christmas gifts in both hands while going down the front stairs and missed the last step and fell forward onto the gifts. If possible, use large bags with handles to hold bulky items, so you can see what is in front of you, while freeing one hand to take the rail.
6. CHECK SURFACES INSIDE AND OUT THAT MAY BE SLIPPERY. My husband recently slipped and nearly fell on a sloped walkway that had accumulated algae from the winter rains. Fortunately, he grabbed onto the rail and did not crash to the ground. I slipped turning a corner after an over-zealous new housekeeper used wax to polish our wood floors to a high sheen. For outside steps and pathways, I have used straight 2% hydrogen peroxide from a spray bottle to remove algae. H202 deteriorates to water within 24 hours and does not kill plants the way bleach does. In fact, hydrogen peroxide can be used to treat root rot and bacteria and to release more oxygen in soil.
7. NEVER LOOK AT YOUR CELL PHONE WHILE WALKING. That goes for inside the home and out. I know of two older friends who recently fell while looking at their cell phone. One tripped over a bag, and another did not take into account the greater height of her friend’s car as she stepped out while reading email. A firefighter in NYC told me that one of the leading causes of pedestrian deaths is inattention while looking at a cell phone, and the number of deaths is even higher for those also wearing headphones.
8. ROUTINELY SCAN AHEAD TO NOTE OBSTACLES AND CHANGING CONDITIONS. I once was engaged in talking to someone as we strolled on a level walkway. I did not notice that the flat walkway was becoming an elevated sidewalk with a 5” curb. My left foot rolled off the curb and I fractured my ankle. Fortunately, it was not my hip.
9. BE AWARE OF WHERE YOU PLACE THROW RUGS AND ESPECIALLY RUGS THAT DO NOT LIE FLAT. Falls can happen when your foot catches the edge or when rugs are slippery and lacking grippers. People walking fast or turning corners in the house can send a rug flying. This is a real danger for those with balance problems, such as those with Parkinson’s or MS.
10. CONSIDER INSTALLING GRAB BARS IN YOUR SHOWER OR TUB. Amost 80 percent of falls in the home occur in the bathroom, and according to the CDC, more than 200,000 seniors are treated in emergency rooms each year for bathroom-related injuries. I am actually surprised how many bathrooms of friends have deep tub-and-shower combos, and only a slippery tiled wall to lean against and faucet handle to grab onto. They cite that grab bars are ugly, yet their own bathroom is not on regular public display. You can slip when you step in and balance on one leg. You can slip on a bar of soap or when tub bottoms have an invisible layer or shampoo or conditioner. You can lose your balance when you close your eyes for more than a few seconds, as might happen when shampooing and rinsing hair. Your balance is simply not as good when you can’t see. Try standing on one foot with eyes open and then closed. I speak from experience. I have fallen in the shower of a former home that had very slippery tiles and nothing to grab onto. Another fall occurred when I already had a broken leg in a cast and had use of only one good leg in the shower. Another fall occurred in a hotel with a curved tub, which led to my shooting up and over the tub and landing onto a very hard floor. I have nearly fallen many times when using shower-tubs in hotels and the homes of friends. Oh, and those bath mats with grippy suction cups. Did not work for me. Soap on plastic is dangerous.
If you use a shower chair, be aware that it may not be stable to lean against if the shower floor is slippery.
11. CONSIDER INSTALLING A GRAB BAR NEAR THE TOILET. I have had more than one elderly guest rip off the towel bar or toilet paper holder when they leaned on them to stand up. Low toilet seats are a challenge for some. Mask the grab bar by hanging a small washcloth over it. There are many websites that sell attractive grab bars that don’t resemble those ugly aluminum ones you see in hospitals.
12. BE CAREFUL IN BATHROOMS WITH MARBLE, GRANITE or POLISHED TILE FLOORS and SHOWER BOTTOMS. I once fell three times during the course of my stay in a hotel that had beautiful marble floors that housekeeping polished to a shine. Actually, I am baffled why people install bathrooms with highly slippery flooring. Are the aesthetics really worth the risk? When choosing tile for a bathroom, consider small, unpolished tiles, like penny tile, connected by grout.
13. WEAR NON-SKID SHOWER SLIPPERS. Choose ones that have non-slip properties when walking on wet surfaces. Smooth-bottoms are not good. I bring shower slippers when I travel for hygienic and safety reasons. Many hotel showers are slippery.
14. BE AWARE OF DOGS AND CATS THAT TEND TO GET UNDERFOOT. Unless you have trained your pets to not rush ahead of you, you will need to check if your pet is following you. Dogs, for example, barrel head when the doorbell rings. A friend of mine tore her ACL when she tried to avoid falling on her little dog. Another friend broke her foot when her cat scooted under her as she was going down the stairs.
15. GET IN A BALANCED POSITION BEFORE STEPPING OUT OF THE CAR. I once hurriedly stepped out of the car on one foot when the door was not fully open. I was off balance sideways with one foot still in the car and when I lost my balance, I had nothing to grab onto and fell backward and hit my head on concrete. That’s one way to end your writing career. I recommend opening the door fully, and swinging your legs out together while seated so that both feet are on the ground before standing up. Be a triangle, not a T.
16. SLOW DOWN WHEN TURNING FAST OR CHANGING DIRECTIONS. When you turn, your required balance shifts. I fell when I stepped outside onto the patio, immediately turned, lost my balance, and fell onto a bunch of flower pots. Lots of bruises. I have slipped (without falling) a number of times turning corners in the house.
17. REMOVE OBSTACLES ON THE FLOOR, like magazines, clothes, dog toys, and charging cords. I know of one author who broke a leg when he got out of bed and immediately stepped onto a magazine. I fell when I stepped on loose clothes on the floor that I was about to pack for a trip.
18. IF YOU GO BAREFOOT OR WEAR SOCKS ONLY INDOORS, USE GRIPPY SOCKS. They are also sold as yoga socks. They often look like ballet slippers and can fit over socks easily.
19. USE A STEPSTOOL AND HAVE SOMETHING ANCHORED THAT YOU CAN GRAB ONTO WHEN TALKING DOWN ITEMS FROM A HIGH SHELF. I know of people who fell when they stood on collapsing tables, chairs, ottomans, and boxes. Keep in mind that once you take something off from a high shelf, your balance shifts. You don’t want to have to decide between a box of Christmas decorations and a concussion. Consider installing grab bars in your closet or garage that you can hold onto when taking down items on high shelves.
20. THINK TWICE BEFORE USING A LADDER, INDOORS OR OUT. My husband had a ladder slide out from under him when he was changing a light bulb on a 14’ high ceiling. He was lucky he was not killed. A high percentage of men who die of falls at home were on tall ladders or on the roof, cleaning gutters. We installed LED lights in our home so that we will not have to change lightbulbs as frequently. And when they need to be changed, we will hire a handyperson with a ladder to handle that task and other safety needs that may come up throughout the year.
21. BE AWARE OF TRIPPING IF WEARING LONG SKIRTS, PANTS, HIGH HEELS or LOOSE SLIPPERS. While going down stairs, I’ve tripped on skirt and pant hems. I also slipped wearing loose slippers and sandals. Sharply-pointed high heels can get caught on rugs.
22. GIVE UP TRYING TO LOOK THREE INCHES TALLER. Switch to stable shoes without heels or wedges. Avoid wearing shoes that are too big. And be aware that cushy tall foam slides are comfortable but not that the best for stability on stairs and such.
23. DO CORE BODY EXERCISES TO STRENGTHEN BALANCE and FLEXIBILITY. Core body exercises are not necessarily the same as muscle strengthening exercises. It is not the same as running on a treadmill. So look up the types of exercises that improve balance AND flexibility. Older people who are less flexible tend to move their upper and lower body as one unit. Practice turning your head to the side one way and the other. Turning your head to see something is better than turning your whole body. You can find exercise and stretching suggestions on YouTube, from a personal trainer, or from a physical therapist. Do the exercises at least three times a week.
24. BE PROACTIVE IF YOU LIVE WITH SOMEONE WHO IS OLDER OR WHO HAS MOBILITY IMPAIRMENTS. It could be someone who has weakness from a stroke, cancer, Parkinson’s, MS, arthritis, osteoporosis—any disease that impairs coordination or is high risk because of fragility. You may not have problems, but consider the safety needs of your family or friends who visit or stay overnight.
25. DO AN ANNUAL ASSESSMENT FOR FALLING HAZARDS IN YOUR HOME, INSIDE AND OUT. Hazards change. If you have kids or grandkids or dogs over, obstacles increase. If you have snow or ice, accumulated leaves, or a lot of rain, your walkways will be slippery. If you are moving into a new home, do a run-through on safety issues, especially in the bathroom. There are some YouTube and Tik-Tok videos that show all the “hilarious ways” that people fall. I always wonder what happened to those people after the video ends. I imagine the outcome did not remain hilarious to the person who suffered the fall.
26. LEARN HOW TO FALL SAFELY. If you are falling, be like a child—squat to get lower and roll into the fall. Watch videos on YouTube, and practice quickly lowering yourself, although not simulating a complete fall. If you have fallen, you’ll no doubt be shocked. Try to determine if you are injured and where. If you hit your head, it may not be wise to move until you assess your injury. When people help you stand, do not have them pull you up by grabbing onto one hand. That was how I sprained my wrist. Have them support you under the armpits. I prefer to have people wait and see if I can get up on my own.
Have a healthy 2026!

12/01/2025

I’ve realized that sometimes peace is like a quiet doorway—you don’t notice it until you finally stop running long enough to see it. It’s not loud, dramatic, or wrapped in some life-changing moment; it’s in the small choices that soften your heart and steady your mind. It’s in letting go of what drains you, choosing what aligns with you, and trusting that calm doesn’t mean boring—it means you’re finally safe within yourself. Peace shows up when you decide you no longer want chaos to feel like home.

— Balt

10/19/2025

this is years of therapy, encapsulated!

Love this Queen of Swords Poetry ✍🙏

10/19/2025

The Bliss of a Quieter Ego
We live in a world of noisy narcissism, but you can escape the cacophony—and be happier.

By Arthur C. Brooks

We live in an age of loud egos. Scholars have documented a large increase since the late 1970s in the percentage of people with a narcissistic personality, a trend that is especially clear among young adults. Social media has made it possible to amplify that trait far and wide, to the extent that we now have an entire cultural class of people we call “influencers” dedicated to broadcasting themselves via new technology. And that new class constantly generates new aspirants to membership: According to one survey, more than half of young people today say they want to be an influencer.

A similar incentive structure undergirds our media-driven political system. Where once politics attracted people with a strong public-service ethic and traditional virtues of modesty and humility, now it rewards leaders and activists—on both the left and right—who are performative and self-interested.

The increase in loud egos has coincided with declines in well-being. The rate of depression in the United States has risen to its highest level on record. Behavioral science offers a compelling thesis that may explain what we’re seeing, as a result of what has been termed the “self-reflection paradox.” An intense focus on self is an evolved trait, scientists suggest, because it confers competitive advantages in mating and survival. But research has also shown that to be so focused on self can be a primary source of unhappiness and maladjustment. So what appears to be happening is that we have developed culture and technology that together supercharge this primal drive of self-reflection—to such an unhealthy and unnatural extent that it has the paradoxical effect of ruining our lives.

Where this grim trend will take our society I have no idea, but I do know that there are measures you can take to protect your well-being—short of checking out and moving to a Himalayan monastery. Unless that is actually what you want to do, then the secret to staying happy amid a culture of loud ego is to adopt for yourself the opposite strategy: cultivate a quiet ego.

Quiet ego is not a term I invented; two psychologists introduced it in 2008. In later research, they defined it as “a self-identity that is neither excessively self-focused nor excessively other-focused—‘an identity that incorporates others without losing the self.’” They measured quiet ego with a survey that asked respondents to say whether they agreed with statements such as “Before criticizing somebody, I try to imagine how I would feel if I were in their place” and “For me, life has been a continuous process of learning, changing, and growth.” (You can see the Quiet Ego Scale in the appendix here.)

The researchers found that people possessing quiet ego showed “inclusive identity” (they thought about others and not just themselves), “perspective taking” (they saw things from others’ point of view), “growth” (they believed they could improve), and “detached awareness” (they were able to observe themselves with some distance, a skill I have referred to previously as “metacognition”)—which is the opposite of an egotistical self-focus. In less technical language, quiet ego involves the virtues of charity, humility, self-awareness, and hope.
In another collaboration, the same psychologists who coined quiet ego found that, on average, quiet ego raises happiness. It is associated with better mood balance, superior life satisfaction, and a greater sense of life’s meaning. Those four virtues help people who possess them get along with others, not take themselves too seriously, understand and manage their own emotions, and see the way toward a better future.

Quiet ego also has protective qualities, because it enables people to deal effectively with life’s inevitable problems, even big ones. Researchers find that possessing a quiet ego is associated with a capacity for growth after traumatic experiences, which means such positive psychological changes as stronger relationships, appreciation for life, and deeper spirituality. Studies have shown how this can apply, for example, to mothers raising children with disabilities or unemployed people looking for a job.

Research has demonstrated a positive correlation between quiet ego and such personality traits as extroversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, and openness to experience. No research has suggested that a given personality type is incompatible with quiet ego—with the possible exception of the Dark Triad, which is high in narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy. But quiet ego probably comes more easily to some people than to others.

In a world of loud egos and increasing unhappiness, the countercultural strategy is to cultivate your quiet ego. This starts by questioning a great deal of conventional wisdom, which tells you to prioritize yourself before others, to seek “your truth” rather than the truth, and to see the future as grim and beyond your capacity to do anything about it. Even if we set aside the research findings (which I have covered more than once in The Atlantic, as have others), a casual look at the statistics that show deteriorating mental health suggests how ill-advised the conventional wisdom is as a guide to well-being.

So create your plan for acquiring the four constituent virtues of quiet ego. One way I like to do this is through two questions and two affirmations. The first question is “What do others need that only I can provide?” This empowers me to do what is uniquely under my control for the people who depend on me. Only I can be a husband, father, and grandfather to my family—because I am by definition those things already—so I focus on doing those jobs generously and well. Likewise, only I can teach my class and write my column today, so I pay attention to performing these tasks to the best of my ability. Others can follow the news and complain about the government as well as I can, so I try to ensure that this gets a lot less of my energy and attention.

The second question is “What can be better around me, and how can I help bring it about?” This involves regularly scouring my personal and professional environment for areas of improvement. Sometimes, this means reconsidering my schedule to make sure it’s not getting in the way of my family life (which is a constant tendency for me). It might mean thinking creatively about what issue or topic I can write or speak about that could use some public attention. Or it might be some cause or activity that I should support charitably with my time or money.

Then the first affirmation I try to make daily is “I might be wrong.” In truth, I am wrong, about many things. I just don’t know what they are yet. The only way to find out, and be more correct, is to maintain the humble attitude that in any contested area—which is almost all of my professional field of behavioral science—I could be wrong; I must therefore be open to alternative viewpoints and new data. You can see how this approach to quieting ego helps: It makes me curious, rather than prickly, and attracted to opinions different from mine.

The second affirmation is “I am not my emotions.” This is a way to cultivate a detached self-awareness, putting some space between my limbic system (from which my emotions emanate) and my prefrontal cortex (where I make conscious decisions). My emotions are information about perceived threats and opportunities, not a guide to how I should evaluate my life or choose to act. When I wake up feeling blue, I am not a sad person; I am someone who probably slept poorly and needs to hit the gym to put things right. This gives me control over my feelings, rather than vice versa.

A parting idea: Maybe I dismissed the Himalayan-monastery option too quickly. One school of thought proposes the merits of having no ego at all. This idea underpins the doctrine of anātman in Buddhism: the realization that your individual self is an illusion of the moment. According to this philosophy, what you see as an essential you is really just an evanescent and changing melody in the song of life, taking its place in a chorus with all other melodies.

Quiet ego is a wonderful way to mute the cacophony of the egotistical world. You don’t need to go the whole way toward the Buddhist self-abnegation of no ego, but you can absolutely enjoy the peace, harmony, and happiness that your quiet ego will bring you.

About the Author

Arthur C. Brooks
Arthur C. Brooks is a contributing writer at The Atlantic and the author of From Strength to Strength and co-author of Build the Life You Want.

10/09/2025

I found this guide very helpful and I hope some of you will also. After well-publicized restrictions and institutional foot-dragging and show-boating, it turns out that there are very few restrictions. I got my Covid shot yesterday and as always, I have to schedule the next day off as I have a huge negative reaction. I'm fine the day of and then the following day wake up with shaking fever ad chills and huge body aches in every part of my body. (I may have to resort to one of the narcotic pain meds today as NSAID and tylenol are doing nothing). look forward to being back to normal tomorrow as I have a busy day planned.
A couple things to point out: the staff who gave me my vaccine she had no patients so far with reimbursement issues. I tried to get more info about the N-nex-s[pike covid vaccine, but nobody including my well informed doc) knew anything about it. It is supposed to cause fewer side effects, while still delivering the same protection so you may want to check it out. maybe I'll try it out next year.
On another topic, I just completed a home sleep study . so easy peasy. you put a magic ring on your finger when you go to bed which is connected via your smart phone to the company which administers your test measuring various parameters all nite. sure beats going to some strange place where you probably aren't going to get much sleep. of course you need your doc to approve it and set it up.
I am working my was thru a variety of delayed preventive health care: hearing test, mammogram, etc. of course you always run the risk that the test may be normal for its advertised purpose, BUT will turn up something else. what happened a couple years ago when I had some abdominal imaging which was negative but showed my appendix was large and inflamed and required surgery!

I consider myself very fortunate to have access to superior health care when so many do not. I have spent hours this week helping people to access life altering procedures that on first blush are unavailable. you just have to be incredibly persistent and find that person who can help you. (when you already are symptomatic and overwhelmed. ) for example, there is apparently a good alternative to Eloquis ( which is insanely expensive). The cardiology dept at LMH apparently has its own pharmacist who made arrangements for the drug to be shipped from out of state at no cost to the client

Link: ourlocalepidemiologist@substack.com

09/23/2025

How To Disrupt the Doomscroll and Let Life Speak
May I show you some good evidence?
Rachel Macy Stafford
Sep 23. 2025



(The following is a substack post by Rachel Macy Stafford
about a trip she headed of women in Zion Canyon. there were wonderful photos in her post which I couldn't transfer.)


"I knew I needed to put my phone away as I zipped the last items into my suitcase, but I couldn’t stop refreshing my feed. More tragedy. More commentary on the tragedy. More finger-pointing.

By the time I boarded the plane to lead a group of ten women through Utah’s breathtaking national parks on the morning of September 16th, I had consumed hours of doom and fear. I felt as hopeless as I ever have in my life.

My instinct was to shut down. To close up. To give up.

Instead, I gave myself a compassionate but firm talking-to and reached for the binder I’d created for our six-day journey — pages of Trailhead Talks I’d written to connect the landscapes we’d walk through with the landscapes within us. I reread my notes, remembering the heart behind each day’s lesson.

A few hours later, the twelve-passenger van was full of laughter and introductions as we headed toward our first stop: Zion National Park. I’d already taught the first session and posed our opening question:

What do you think will be your biggest obstacle to getting the most out of this experience?
For me, the answer was obvious. If I kept chasing the constant stream of breaking news, I’d block myself from experiencing life as it was unfolding right in front of me. I’d fail to fulfill my purpose—cultivating community and ensuring each traveler felt seen, heard, and valued.

And as the red rock walls of Zion Canyon rose up around us and the Wi-Fi dropped away, something shifted. With every mile, I felt less drawn to the chaos I’d left behind and more connected to my actual life, right there in the van, right there in the canyon.

What I was experiencing has a name. Psychologists call it “doomscrolling”—that compulsive urge to keep swiping through bad news and divisive commentary, even though it heightens stress and erodes hope. Our phones, so often a lifeline, become misery machines, and by design, they’re hard to power down.

As communication scholar Jennifer Mercieca explains, these devices and apps are created to hijack our attention. They keep us hooked by exploiting something deeply human: our instinct to scan for threats. Outrage, negativity, and tragedy rise to the top of our feeds because those are the things most likely to keep us engaged and the algorithms know it.

One way to fight back, she says, is by practicing hopescrolling—seeking out stories that point toward solutions.

In that spirit, I want to offer you hope and a sense of agency today. Because I was fully present on my recent trip, I came home with something worth sharing.

While I was gathering my thoughts from the trip, a profound essay by Hannah Brencher, founder of The World Needs More Love Letters, landed in my inbox. Building on the Quaker saying, “Let your life speak,” Hannah wrote about leaving good evidence at the end of each day, proof that we lived with presence, peace, curiosity, and love. Too often, she noted, our evidence ends up online in likes, shares, reposts, while the tangible markers of our offline lives go neglected.

Her words, and the poetic way she shared her own good evidence, inspired me. I don’t want a digital footprint; I want my life itself to reveal I showed up fully, believed in things bigger than myself, and lived as a conscious creator of my days.

And that is what happened last week, in the company of ten brave women and one incredible guide in one of the most beautiful places on earth:

My life spoke.
Using Hannah’s poetic structure as my template, may this hopescroll inspire you to look for the tangible ways life is speaking to you today… and what it might be saying.

My life spoke with morning light gracing the canyon walls. With aching calves. With side-splitting laughter.

My life spoke with switchbacks that never seemed to end. With views that rewarded the climb. With bronchial spasms reminding me that healing has its own timeline. With new friends who said, “I’ll wait for you.”

My life spoke with homemade pies eaten shoulder to shoulder at picnic tables in the heart of red rock country. With journals filled with hard-earned truths. With birds quietly witnessing our growth.

My life spoke with a mule named Lisa — sometimes lagging behind, sometimes galloping so fast my life flashed before me. My life spoke with quiet assurance that she and I loved each other even in our worst moments, that even the most unpredictable rides can carry us closer to trust.

My life spoke with the smooth zipper of my sleeping bag. With the M&M blanket once belonging to Avery—her hand-me-downs, now my comforts. With the morning sun whispering, “You are here.”

My life spoke with plastic dishes passed hand to hand beneath headlamps, ordinary chores turned into communion. With the soothing vibrations of a van in motion. With towering cliffs and ancient stone, inviting me to stand small in childlike awe and wonder.

My life spoke with birthday candles bought at a camp store. With heartfelt wishes for a woman turning 65 we’d only known three days. With the words, “This was the best birthday I’ve ever had.”

My life spoke with a slick rock climb and a pounding heart. With fear faced and hands clasped in triumph. With the sudden unveiling of Delicate Arch—freestanding, magnificently alone, waiting at the trail’s end.

My life spoke with walking sticks tapping against slick stone. With red dirt sneaking into places no packing list ever mentioned. With questions from curious onlookers, “What is this group?” and “How do I sign up?”

One of my favorite inquiries came in Bryce Canyon, where an older couple sat outside their camper one evening, watching us cook dinner and fix fallen tents. After a warm hello, the woman smiled and asked, “Are you in some kind of club?” She said they could tell we were something special.

I explained that I’m an author with a background in special education, and that my work — centered on connection, inclusion, compassion, and self-awareness — had brought these women together.

“It’s amazing,” I told them, “This group of strangers, each with a unique story and background, has come together to listen, learn, and support one another through emotional and physical challenges, and in doing so, we will all leave transformed and more connected than when we arrived.”

I was surprised to see the man wiping his eyes.

“Thank you for talking to us,” he said quietly. The woman got up from her chair and asked if she could give me a hug.

As she embraced me, I recalled one of my earliest lines from my Hands Free manifesto: To hug and not be the first to let go.

And so that is what I did. I held on… until the woman’s arms slowly released.

My life spoke with a full-circle moment, returning me to why I began writing Hands Free Mama: letting go of distraction to grasp what really matters years ago.

· Face-to-face conversations matter.

· Looking into people’s eyes matters.

· Hearing stories we have not lived — and responding with curiosity — matters.

· Investing our energy in solutions that bring us closer matters.

The connections this group made with each other and those we encountered from around the globe were as stunning as the landscapes themselves. I believe it was because we showed up fully – ready to be seen, to be heard, to be held. And in that openness, people felt welcomed in.

We began as strangers, but by the end, we were evidence:
Evidence… that presence fills in the blanks.
Evidence… that hope finds its footing.
Evidence… that life, when spoken, speaks love.

I am committed to answering the call.

Will you join me?

My hand in yours,
Rachel"