03/18/2026
We like to keep birth real and honor all circumstances that can happen in labor and delivery. In line with this we are so grateful to share the following birth story in the words of a mamma 💜. Permission to share.
"I am a big planner and I love being prepared. When I found out I was pregnant with my first baby, it was fun and easy for me to start planning what I wanted delivery to look like. As I prepared, my social media algorithm was inundated with home birth stories and the beautiful, raw photos that often come with them. I have some medical background and in school I had to watch multiple c-sections and vaginal deliveries in the hospital for clinicals. I witnessed what I still consider to be a very emotionally manipulative and traumatic c-section. I craved the quiet, peaceful, more controlled ambiance of a home birth or birth center. The hospital to me was impersonal and working within a medical system that did not ultimately serve women and babies. So I landed on wanting a home birth.
I woke up at 39+2 weeks having light contractions that quickly intensified. After about 8 hours of labor, I was dilated to a 7. The pain was intense and I was having a hard time staying mentally in it, but I was almost there. The pool provided so much relief. I pushed, fully dilated for 2 hours at home that evening. Jodie had ruled out any cervix left and tried many ways to facilitate delivery because my baby was not descending. The midwives had also started monitoring his heart rate more closely and they were recommending hospital transfer if it didn't improve. Thirteen hours of labor had me exhausted. With the heart rate issue and fluid color, I decided to go with the recommendation and transfer to a hospital.
My husband drove like a champ to OPR. I decided not to push at all during the car ride because it was clear that when I pushed his heart rate was not good. I got to the hospital and went straight to L&D. I got an epidural, pushed more, but ultimately got a c-section because he just was not descending and his heart rate was not sustainable. We made the right call because when they got him out he was not breathing or responsive and was completely blue. He had a heart beat but that was it. They got him breathing and all healthy in a few minutes. I met my baby in the bright, sterile operating room, fentanyl and morphine pulsing through my body. My husband met him dressed in a medical suit and hair net. The first touch my baby felt outside my womb was the glove of the doctors. His airway was invasively suctioned within a minute of entering this world.
As I reflected in the weeks to follow, I felt immense guilt and felt like I had failed. I cognitively knew that wasn't true, but all my feelings screamed that maybe I could've tried harder. If women do this all the time, why couldn't I? But the truth is I prepared as much as I could, and women died in childbirth for reasons that we now have interventions for. I did all that I was able to during pregnancy to facilitate the type of birth I was seeing so much about and wanted.
For me, here is so much of the beauty in my birth story. I had so many preconceived notions about the hospital and the way they would treat me. The horror stories are the loudest and certainly women are mistreated and pressured and interventions are sometimes due to poor care, but each birth story is unique. Hospitals are systems, health care is a disaster, but the people who cared for me were not impersonal, impatient, or uncaring. I didn't get the quiet, private delivery in dim lighting, but the hospital let me keep a lot of control. They were nothing but respectful and empathetic. Every nurse was so encouraging and kind. They let me push more than I know they wanted me to. They didn't roll their eyes that I had been trying to do this unmedicated and at home. They were calm, clear, and let me make every decision. In the brightness and the constant noise of a hospital, there was peace and goodness too once I had my baby in my arms. In the interventions I feared and had done my best to avoid was my son's life. With the epidural, I was able to smile and breathe for a moment, rather than just feeling constant pain and dread about the next contraction. That invasive suctioning of my baby's airway got him clear of meconium and breathing safely. It wasn't at all how I wanted it to go, but I am grateful for everyone who was with me along the way. For my amazing husband, for Jodie and Lilly, and for every hospital employee who proved that they also just wanted the best for me and my baby. I truly hope everyone gets the birth they desire, and I grieve that I didn't, but I got the birth I needed, and it gave me my healthy baby boy."
