Jake Thiessen, PhD

12/05/2025

What should you know before reading Tiny Shifts?

This isn’t a “fix it fast” relationship guide. It’s a thoughtful invitation to real, lasting change, one subtle shift at a time.

This isn’t a manual.
It’s a mindset.

12/03/2025

What makes a relationship work?
Here are 3 simple but powerful rules to consider:

1️⃣ Reciprocity — It doesn’t have to be 50/50 every day, but the give and take has to feel mutual.
2️⃣ Congruence of Perception — You both need to agree on what’s actually happening in the relationship.
3️⃣ Equivalence — You see each other as equals — different, but not above or below.

These foundational principles are part of what make tiny shifts possible.

12/01/2025

🚫 There Are No Drama-Free Relationships. But there are patterns you can recognize and change.

The Drama Triangle, developed by psychiatrist Stephen Karpman, shows how we often fall into one of three roles:
🔻 Victim- “This is happening to me.”
🔻 Rescuer- “Let me fix this for you.”
🔻 Persecutor- “This is your fault.”

We’ve all played each role at some point. But the real shift happens when you recognize the pattern before you get swept into it.

11/28/2025

Ever feel like your partner never changes, even when they’re trying?

🧠 Confirmation bias is our brain’s way of filtering the world to match what we already believe.
If you’ve decided your partner is always grumpy, you’ll keep noticing the grumpiness, and overlook the smile, the softened tone, and the effort.

Want more connection?
Start by catching your partner doing something different.
Then say something about it.

11/26/2025

Want more connection in your relationship? Start by recognizing the paradoxes beneath the surface.

We often miss or misinterpret them because they don’t show up as problems. They show up as confusion, withdrawal, or stuckness.

But paradox is natural. And when we hold both truths equally, something opens up.

Recognizing this tension is the first step toward growing through it.

11/24/2025

I’m thrilled to announce that Tiny Shifts has been honored with an Indie Book Award for November 2025!

A big thank you to every reader, supporter, and partner in this journey. If you’ve found value in the book, this is as much your win as mine.

📘 Pick up your copy today and keep making those meaningful changes. https://amzn.to/46T8Fgi

It goes without saying: intimate relationships are complex. Two unique individuals come together in an interactive dance of emotions and behaviors that becomes their signature way of relating. When a relationship challenge arises, improving communication skills and scheduling more date nights...

11/21/2025

An intimate relationship is a living, breathing process that evolves, deepens, and sometimes gets messy.

When it’s flowing, it can feel like the most life-giving connection in the world. When it’s stuck… it can feel lonely, frustrating, even hopeless.

But stuck doesn’t mean broken. It just means there’s more to understand, more to explore, and more opportunities to grow together.

💬 How do you nurture the creative process of your relationship?

11/19/2025

If you’re in a long-term relationship, you’ve probably had some version of the same “stupid” argument on repeat.

I used to think I could fix things by solving each individual argument. Now I know better:
There are no stupid arguments.

Next time you’re caught in a familiar loop, pause. Don’t just fight about the thing.
Get curious about what’s underneath it.

Discover more tiny shifts here: https://amzn.to/46T8Fgi

11/17/2025

Conventional wisdom says couples just need to communicate better and learn to problem-solve.

But here’s the truth:
It’s not just about the words you use — it’s about the emotional current underneath.

One tiny shift in tone, posture, or timing can change the entire trajectory of a conversation (or an argument).

11/14/2025

What makes a relationship grow?

It’s not luck.
It’s not even just love.

It’s a combination of four essential ingredients:
✨ Patience
✨ Support
✨ Balance
✨ Knowledge

They don’t show up all at once. But when you nurture them over time, they create the conditions for deep connection.

Start with one.
Then keep going.

11/12/2025

In the chaos of everyday life, simple gestures like a good kiss carry more weight than we realize.

A little intention can go a long way.

It goes without saying: intimate relationships are complex. Two unique individuals come together in an interactive dance of emotions and behaviors that becomes their signature way of relating. When a relationship challenge arises, improving communication skills and scheduling more date nights...

11/10/2025

“You’re crazy if you thought that was okay.”
“You never help me around the house.”
“You always do this.”

Sound familiar?

These are more than just sharp words — they’re signs of certainty.
And certainty is a conversation killer.

When you’re absolutely sure you’re right, there’s no room left for curiosity, repair, or connection.

But when you replace certainty with wonder, you create space to actually hear each other.

📘 From Tiny Shifts — a book about the small things that make a big difference. https://amzn.to/46T8Fgi