12/10/2025
I had to share this because I too was a momma that had this not knowing that it was even a āthingā just thinking it was something only I felt. It was weird and yucky feeling that I didnāt know why I had it. Knowing youāre not alone and normal has so much freedom in it!!! Make sure you talk to other mommas or professional about your feelings instead of keeping them inside sometimes there is relief from the guilt and feelings if we just be honest with someone we trust š«¶š¼ If you donāt have someone you feel comfortable talking to Iāll be that one!
You Doula momma Kat loves you š
I donāt think we talk about D-MER (Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex) enough.
When I was nursing my second baby, he would latch and Iād immediately feel this awful drop in my stomach. Almost like nausea mixed with panic. Iād get this wave of doom wash over me, like I was drowning or trapped, and for a few minutes I genuinely wanted to scream.
And then⦠as soon as my letdown was over, I was totally fine again.
Smiling. Nursing. Normal.
I had no idea this was an actual medical thing. I thought something was wrong with me. I felt horrible for having those feelings during something that was āsupposedā to be beautiful.
But D-MER is REAL.
Itās not postpartum depression.
Itās not you āhating breastfeeding.ā
Itās not you being ungrateful.
Itās literally a reflex, a sudden drop in dopamine during letdown that causes a wave of sadness, nausea, anxiety, irritability, or panic for just those few minutes.
If this is you, youāre not alone and youāre not broken.
Your body is doing something hormonal, not something emotional.
And it doesnāt make you a bad mom, not even a little bit. š¤
Sometimes just knowing thereās a name for what youāre experiencing is enough to make you breathe again.