Heath Counseling Center

07/16/2024

07/16/2024

So what is with this 5:1 ratio?
Here’s what the 5 to 1 ratio entails:
Positive to Negative Interactions: John Gottman’s research suggests that for a relationship to thrive and remain stable, there should be at least five times as many positive interactions as negative ones. Positive interactions include expressions of affection, appreciation, humor, support, and empathy, among others. Negative interactions typically involve criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling.
Impact on Relationship Quality: When the ratio of positive to negative interactions falls below this threshold (5:1), relationships are more likely to experience distress and instability. Conversely, maintaining a higher ratio of positive interactions fosters emotional connection, resilience during conflicts, and overall relationship satisfaction.
Effective Conflict Management: During conflicts or disagreements, couples who maintain a healthy balance of positive interactions are better equipped to manage disagreements constructively. This means that even during arguments or challenging discussions, they can draw on a reservoir of positive feelings and experiences.
In essence, the 5 to 1 ratio underscores the importance of positivity in relationships as a buffer against the inevitable conflicts and challenges that arise. It highlights the need for frequent expressions of appreciation, kindness, and understanding to create a foundation strong enough to weather disagreements and sustain long-term relationship satisfaction.
If you are interested in learning more and improving the dynamics in your relationship. Check out my event page for my couples workshop coming Sept 21st and 22nd. Or you can find out more details by visiting Remedy Events tab at www.remedypsych.com
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07/12/2024

What are Perpetual Issues....
The Gottman Institute refers to "perpetual issues" in the context of relationships as conflicts or disagreements between partners that tend to persist over time. These issues are typically rooted in fundamental differences in personality, values, or lifestyle preferences that may not have clear-cut solutions. Unlike solvable problems, which can be resolved through compromise or negotiation, perpetual issues often require ongoing dialogue, understanding, and acceptance from both partners.

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned psychologist and researcher in the field of relationships, suggests that around 69% of conflicts in relationships are perpetual and cannot be completely solved. According to Gottman, these perpetual issues can be managed and navigated in healthy relationships through effective communication, empathy, and respect for each other's perspectives. Couples can learn to live with and accommodate these differences rather than trying to eliminate them entirely.

What are some "perpetual issues" in your relationship?

If you want to find out more check out my event page or remedypsych.com for details about my Couples Workshop coming on Sept 21st and Sept 22nd

01/30/2023

To access the survey:

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScQsQHudnA5I21Xd9XtWKC2-SUG7HVDSx78rc-zwKdo9RiAsw/viewform?usp=pp_url

01/30/2023

Take some time and make YOUR voice be heard!

To access the survey:

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScQsQHudnA5I21Xd9XtWKC2-SUG7HVDSx78rc-zwKdo9RiAsw/viewform?usp=pp_url

05/18/2022

The fact is, as we can see in this story, p**n can take a heavy toll on real-life relationships. P**n hurts partners.

02/23/2022

"Gentle startups help couples to have conflict conversations.⁠
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Using a gentle start up improves the likelihood that the conversation will go in the right direction. It reduces both criticism and defensiveness. "

Words and graphic by Certified Gottman Therapist Elizabeth Earnshaw, LMFT. Read more about improving your conflict conversations on the Gottman Relationship Blog: https://fal.cn/3mnOa

12/10/2021

Research on the effects of p**n consumption, especially when one person frequently views p**n, shows it can hurt a couple's relationship.

11/18/2021

An affair can shake the hurt partner to their core and cause them to doubt everything they believe.

Although not all partners hurt by an affair will develop PTSD-type reactions, many will experience grief and depression. Hurt partners may become obsessed with the affair’s details, feel powerless with their emotions, and need therapeutic assistance to process their difficult emotions. According to Drs. John and Julie Gottman, if the symptoms persist, then the hurt partner may be experiencing PTSD.

After an affair, a couple may experience many confusing and conflicting emotions. It’s hard to know what to do. If you're experiencing grief or PTSD-type feelings related to an affair, a therapist trained in the Gottman Method can help.

Find a therapist in your area on the Gottman Referral Network: https://bit.ly/2YwlpsA

Please note: The National Su***de Prevention Lifeline provides 24/7, free, and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals. If you or a loved one are at risk, dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Our social media posts are not meant to address situations of abuse. For immediate support, please contact thehotline.org.

11/17/2021

Dr. John Gottman offers practical ways to turn toward each other and create shared meaning in your relationship.

09/17/2021

It's often helpful to take a break during conflict with your partner. But what should this break look like? What's the most effective way to pause the conversation?

When in conflict, human beings enter a heightened state of arousal. This built-in alarm system has a name: Diffuse Physiological Arousal (DPA). When your body is in DPA, your heart speeds up, blood flow to your gut and kidneys slows down, adrenaline starts to pump, and ultimately you head into the infamous “fight or flight” response. Communication and problem-solving become more challenging when we're in this state.

This is why it's important that you and your partner practice noticing the ways your physiology shapes the way you communicate. Learning to self-soothe opens the door to empathy, positivity, and creativity.

Discover strategies for taking productive breaks and problem-solving during conflict with help from Gottman Relationship Coach today: https://bit.ly/3njDcvD

Please note: This post is not intended to address situations of abuse in relationships. For immediate support, please contact thehotline.org.

08/10/2021

And they're backed by research.