02/03/2026
When a loved one is sundowning and asking to “go home,” even while sitting in their own living room, it can be heartbreaking and exhausting. Here are four gentle, practical ways to respond in a way that supports both safety and emotional comfort.
1. Start with reassurance, not correction
Instead of explaining, “You are home,” try to meet the feeling underneath the words. A calm response like, “You’re safe here, and I’m right here with you,” can soothe fear more than facts. Validating their worry (“It sounds like you’re feeling unsettled tonight”) helps them feel heard rather than argued with.
2. Create a calming evening routine
Sundowning often gets worse with fatigue, overstimulation, or hunger. Keep evenings predictable and quiet: dimmer lights, soft music, a light snack, and fewer background noises. A simple routine—same chair, same blanket, same show or activity—can gently signal to the brain that it is time to wind down, not get ready to leave.
3. Redirect with comfort and familiarity
When they say, “I need to go home,” try stepping into their reality instead of confronting it. You might say, “Tell me about your home,” or “Let’s get things ready for tomorrow, then we can rest for a bit.” Offering a familiar object (photo album, favorite sweater, prayer book) or a small task (folding towels, sorting cards) can shift their focus while still honoring the feeling of needing to “do something.”
4. Protect safety while sharing the load
If your loved one is trying to leave the house, gently guide them to safer spaces—walking with them down the hallway, sitting together by a window, or offering a warm drink. Over time, these evenings can wear families down. Bringing in in‑home support can provide another calm, familiar presence at the hardest times of day, so you are not carrying it alone, and your loved one can feel more settled and secure at home.
