Cooperative Coparenting

Cooperative Coparenting I’m a therapist, an author, a mom, a co-parent and a co-parenting coach living and working in LA. 💕

03/17/2026

When families change shape, children still need the same thing: security, love, and stability.

In Cooperative Co-Parenting for Secure Kids: The Attachment Theory Guide to Raising Kids in Two Homes, Aurisha shares a compassionate, practical roadmap for parents navigating separation or divorce while keeping their child’s emotional well-being at the center.

If you’re navigating co-parenting or supporting someone who is, this is a resource you’ll want on your shelf. Get your copy today!

https://www.aurishasmolarski.com/book/

03/12/2026

The outside world often only sees the surface stuff — the schedules, the school pickups, the photos, the routines. What they don’t see is the emotional work happening behind the scenes.

That work matters.

Even when it feels invisible.
Even when no one says “good job.”
Even when progress feels slow.

Every time you choose patience, boundaries, and emotional safety for your child, you are doing something incredibly brave. If you're parenting through a difficult season right now, take a moment to acknowledge the work you're doing.
I SEE YOU!!

It counts. And your child will feel the difference. 💙

03/10/2026

Are you feeling tired and overwelmed by the constant back and forths with your co-parent?
Your nervous system might be staying stuck in self protection mode. It's time for you to reclaim your energy and your freedom.

Here are 5 things you can do starting now:
1. Write everything down. If it's not in writing, it didn't happen. Use email or a co-parenting app and treat every message like a judge might read it someday.

2. Keep it narrow. Health, safety, school, schedule. That's it. Everything else gets minimal energy.

3. Stop chasing agreement. Court orders and written terms are what matter — not verbal understandings that can be rewritten later.

4. Slow your responses. Most messages are not emergencies, even when they feel like one. Waiting before you reply is a skill worth building.

5. Expect the chaos. When you stop hoping that this time will be different, the flare-ups stop feeling personal. They become predictable. And predictable is manageable.

👉 The most regulated parent wins — not in arguments, but in credibility. Over time, consistency is the strategy.

02/26/2026

Why This Works (and Gets You Back Into Your Wise Mind)

When you’re stressed or triggered, your nervous system shifts into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode, preparing you to defend yourself. Your thinking brain (the prefrontal cortex) goes offline — and your survival brain takes over, making it hard for you to think or behave from a place of clarity.

🟥 It's like allowing your 5 year old self to drive your car... NOT SAFE!

Slow breathing changes that.

Long exhales activate the body’s calming system, slowing heart rate, lowering stress hormones, and signaling to your brain:
😌 There is no immediate danger.

As your body settles, your prefrontal cortex — the part responsible for judgment, empathy, and problem-solving — comes back online.

🟩 Now your adult self is back in the drivers seat... SAFE!

This is what therapists call "returning to your wise mind": where you have the capacity to think, speak, and behave from a more grounded and calm place. You will be able to gain perspective, and make better decisions.

You calm the body first — and the mind follows.

💙 So next time you are about to send a text… do this 4,7,8 exercise and gain the true empowerment that you are wanting.

What's the difference between walls and boundaries?Walls build distance and burden the kids.Boundaries build stability. ...
02/24/2026

What's the difference between walls and boundaries?

Walls build distance and burden the kids.
Boundaries build stability.

Walls may make you feel like you are protecting yourself. They can feel like power. Like control. Like “I’m done getting hurt.”

❌ But walls are rigid.
❌ Walls are unproductive
❌ They are temporary.
❌ They shut down communication.
❌ They block collaboration.
❌ Kids often absorb the stress and tension.

Boundaries are different.

✅ Boundaries are clear and respectful.
✅ They reduce conflict without disconnecting from parenting responsibilities.
✅ They protect your child from being put in the middle.
✅ They allow you to disengage from drama — without disengaging from your role as a parent.

Boundaries create predictability.
Predictability creates safety.
Safety frees kids to just be kids.

Healthy Boundaries are good for you, your coparent, and your kid.

01/29/2026

When a text from your co-parent triggers you, these steps can help you regulate your emotions so you can protect both your nervous system and your kids.

Here’s the short version ⬇️

When the text comes in:

1️⃣ Say hello to the trigger sensation in your body.
“Hi tightness.” “Hello heat rising in my chest.” “Hi heart beating.” “I hear you. I feel you.”

2️⃣ Interrupt the old pattern.
If it feels urgent, it’s probably fear. Remind yourself that you are not in danger and you do not need to respond immediatey.

3️⃣ Pause and regulate before responding.
Take a breath. Look around the room. Ground your body. Look at something beautiful.

4️⃣ Feel and bring compassion to the emotion — don’t ignore it. Name the emotion or the belief.
“I feel angry.” “I feel unsafe.” “I feel powerless.” Sit with the uncomfortable emotions and send them compassion. “This is hard. This makes sense.”
Now notice how your body feels more regulated and the trigger sensations have subsided.

Do you want me to send you a free demo of how to regulate and heal? Type “Breathe” in the comments and I’ll send it to you.

Every regulated response is one step closer to your freedom and empowerment. This is how co-parenting becomes less reactive and more secure for your kids — one pause at a time. You got this! 🫶🏻

01/27/2026

Navigating separation and co-parenting can be tough, but I’m here to support you. The Big Chat offers you a template that will help you let your kid know about your divorce in a way that will support their well-being, not traumatize them.

This template enables you to:

👉 Approach conversations with clarity and compassion
👉 Avoid pitfalls that cause confusion
👉 Foster a supportive environment

By using this script, you’re putting your child first and your co-parenting journey on the right track.

Grab your free Big Chat script today, write “big chat” in the comments and I’ll send the link directly to your dms. 💙

Cooperative Co-Parenting for Secure Kids is a 12-week program for divorced or separating parents who want to raise a res...
01/22/2026

Cooperative Co-Parenting for Secure Kids is a 12-week program for divorced or separating parents who want to raise a resilient, emotionally secure child.

You’ll walk away with:

➡️ Effective communication strategies
➡️ Strategies for getting onto Team Kiddo and into coparenting mindset
➡️ Tools to reduce emotional drama
➡️ A child-focused framework for making decisions
➡️ Routines that work in and between both homes
➡️ Practical parenting tools that help your child feel seen, supported, and understood

You’ll be a part of a supportive cohort for three monthly live virtual workshops and bi-monthly live group sessions with me, where you’ll receive personalized guidance, real-time answers, and the chance to connect with others who are navigating the same journey.

It’s not the divorce that hurts, it’s how you do divorce. This workshop will give you the tools you need to help your kid thrive through your divorce.

🌺 February cohort now open for enrollment. Special early enrollment fee!

👉🏼 Write SECURE in comments and I’ll send you more info and the link to SIGN UP today! or DM with questions.

Let’s make this the moment things begin to shift — for you, and for your kids. 🫶

01/20/2026

The start of a new year is a transition which can bring hope — and a lot of uncertainty.

New roles, shifting relationships, grief, growth, or a deeper understanding of who you’re becoming. Change doesn’t always come with clarity right away, and that’s okay.

That’s why and I co-authored Embracing Change: A Guided Journal for Life’s Transitions — a free downloadable journal designed to support you through life’s in-between moments. If you’re crossing a bridge between what was and what’s next, this journal is here to walk with you.

Download your FREE copy today, DM me or write “journal” in the comments and I’ll send it right to your inbox. 💙

For many families, co-parenting apps create a neutral, structured space that reduces emotional reactivity and keeps kids...
01/15/2026

For many families, co-parenting apps create a neutral, structured space that reduces emotional reactivity and keeps kids out of the middle. By centralizing schedules, expenses, and messages in one shared place, these tools help co-parents move from impulsive exchanges to more thoughtful, child-focused communication.

Swipe through for the best co-parenting apps that help with scheduling, expense tracking, documentation, messaging, and much more!

01/13/2026

Divorce is a big change — and for kids, it can feel especially unsettling if its loaded with uncertainly, conflict and stress.

One of the most common fears I hear from parents going through separation is:

“I don’t want my child to be harmed by our divorce.”

Of course you want your child to feel safe, stable, and deeply loved… but when everything is shifting, it’s hard to know what healthy co-parenting actually looks like or how to truly support your kids.

That’s exactly why I created Cooperative Co-Parenting for Secure Kids — a 3-month live, online program grounded in decades of Attachment Theory and clinical experience. Through monthly workshops and biweekly group coaching, you’ll learn how to create a calmer, more cooperative co-parenting dynamic where your child can truly thrive.

Inside the program, you’ll learn how to:
✨ Get on Team Kiddo and release old roles and patterns
✨ Communicate with clarity instead of conflict
✨ Create consistency and emotional safety across both homes

And here’s the most important part: you don’t need your co-parent to join. One parent choosing a new way forward can shift the entire family system.

The January cohort is open for enrollment NOW at a special reduced rate!

Cooperative Coparenting is the gift of security and confidence that your kids will thank you for today, tomorrow and into their futures.

👉 Learn more here, https://mailchi.mp/aurishasmolarski/cooperative-co-parenting-for-secure-kids?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQMMjU2MjgxMDQwNTU4AAGn30QJEIj_kxuO3kHjcOsAy8uw9ojMGmgKQsV8E2QsOOFvq_1-ySh-QfCWz3w_aem_jspnn2EUbumOXKSX7xUCkA

01/09/2026

Sick days are hard!! And for coparents conlfict can spike. Why is that?

When our child gets sick it taps right into our own vulnerabilities and early childhood experiences often triggering anxiety, fear, distrust, protection, or shame.

And navigating logistics while triggered makes it even harder for us to focus on what truly matters - our kids needs, and instead we enter into battle about our own needs and emotions.

Here’s how you can get back to clarity:
Take a breath and choose to collaborate, to be flexible, and to prioritize your kid’s health.

Listen to the reel to get some script ideas. 💙

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