Feel Understood

12/06/2025

”Therapy” platforms are not therapy. Stay vigilant against tech companies scamming you. has been fined 7.8 million for selling data and wants transcriptions of your conversations.

Therapists are not gig-workers, therapists are not subscription products.

12/06/2025

The NUMBER ONE use for ChatGPT is THERAPY (we’re cooked)

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTrm9S3H4/

313.2K likes, 3598 comments. “"These companies are caught in a race to create engagement, which means a race to create intimacy." Tristan Harris, co-founder of the Center for Humane Technology, on the dangers of AI companions”

12/04/2025

I’ve helped repair relationships with couples for years. Free phone consultation.

I'm a California Board of Behavioral Sciences Licensed and Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy-Trained Couples Therapist.

Check my availability at FeelUnderstood.com. Offer only in California.

12/02/2025

IS IT WORTH IT TO GO TO COUPLES THERAPY?

Couples therapy with an Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist is helpful for couples at any stage of their relationship because we’re always experiencing a dichotomy of emotion that fuels our behavior everyday.

Having a better understanding of our own emotion/behavior dichotomy and our partner’s inner world can give partners a more consistent opportunity at supporting one another.

This kind of understanding will transform a relationship for years to come, no matter what major transitions your relationship might go through.

Learn how couples therapy with Feel Understood helps build secure relationships: https://calendly.com/alejandro-feelunderstood/consultation

12/02/2025

WHICH KIND OF THERAPY WORKS BEST FOR IN*******AL, MULTICULTURAL, BIPOC PARTNERS AND COUPLES?

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy works for anyone willing to be honest with how they feel, or at least ready to learn how to talk about themselves with their partner. The reason EFT is the most inclusive form of couples therapy is because this approach only focuses on how each partner feels, and we all have emotions, whether or not we want to admit or understand them.

Understanding how a partner feels begins the couples therapy work, couples counseling is not about getting advice from the therapist. Not receiving direct advice from a therapist can seem off-putting to people of certain cultures and background. Depending on your background, you may feel more comfortable receiving direction from someone you respect, or someone that is respected in your community.

I can tell you that Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy with Feel Understood will offer some direction. Eventually, we will gain a better understanding of what needs to change in your relationship, and what will work better. But in order to figure that out, partners need to be open to being honest in how they feel, and open to learning how to articulate their feelings. The plan will be developed together, it will not be made up arbitrarily by the therapist.

Learn how couples therapy with Feel Understood helps build secure relationships: https://calendly.com/alejandro-feelunderstood/consultation

Only for California residents

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12/02/2025

HOW OFTEN SHOULD A COUPLE GO TO COUPLES THERAPY?

At the beginning stages of Couples Therapy, it’s important for couples to meet consistently. If there is a crisis, some couples therapy modalities would recommend meeting with a therapist multiple times per week. For relationships that aren’t in crisis, meeting once a week is standard.

What’s important is not letting too much time pass between sessions. Emotional interactions between partners in therapy need to be revisited and worked through, avoiding a session, and skipping a week, can cause more damage and harm in the relationship.

Unfortunately, couples that avoid sessions are likely to be avoidant in their own relationship. The irony is that couples therapy can teach partners the benefits of not being avoidant, only if the avoidant partner doesn’t avoid the session in the first place. When both partners are avoidant, attending sessions regularly is almost impossible.

Make a commitment with your couples therapist and make a plan for how many sessions in a row you can honestly expect to participate in. At least a few consecutive sessions could be better than no sessions at all.

Learn how couples therapy with Feel Understood helps build secure relationships: https://calendly.com/alejandro-feelunderstood/consultation

Only for California residents

12/02/2025

WHY DO SOME COUPLES PREFER DOING COUPLES THERAPY AT AN OFFICE?
Couples that want to go to an office have a few misconceptions. It’s important to build a therapeutic relationship with your individual therapist, but couples therapy doesn’t exist to build a relationship with your therapist, it exists to strengthen an intimate relationship with your partner.

Telehealth and online couples therapy is still a relatively new concept, but I believe that future studies will prove that couples who participate in therapy together from their home will have a higher success than couples who venture into an office.

Most couples that have an impulse to do couples therapy in an office are avoidant. They know that online couples counseling is an option, but that feels too overwhelming for them, and they’d rather take their problems elsewhere. Ironically, being avoidant is likely their main source of conflict in their relationship in the first place.

Learn how couples therapy with Feel Understood helps build secure relationships:

Hi guys, entering couples therapy with uncertainty can be scary. I'm glad to answer questions. Please choose an available time together. Details below. www.FeelUnderstood.com(For our call, it’s expected that you’ll both be in the same room together on speakerphone.)I update times on Wednesdays b...

12/02/2025

WHAT IS THE NO SECRETS RULE IN COUPLES THERAPY?

Depending on which couples therapy modality your couples therapist utilizes, you may encounter an officially stated “no secrets” rule, or policy. Different types of therapy sometimes has each partner talking to the couples therapist individually, this is more often the reason for having a no secrets policy, meaning that the therapist will divulge what each partner has said when you’re all in the same room together.

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy only works with both partners in the room together, and any communication with the therapist always includes both partners at the same time.

Working separately in couples therapy is antithetical to building connection and security, which is why Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) never has partners working individually with their couples therapist.

Any concerns a partner has about the therapy process or scheduling should be brought to the group’s attention uniformly so that everyone can try to mend the situation together.

Learn how couples therapy with Feel Understood helps build secure relationships: https://calendly.com/alejandro-feelunderstood/consultation

Only available in California.

12/02/2025

WHICH IS BETTER: BETTERHELP OR TALKSPACE?

Thankfully, in our new era of mental health awareness more people are in Therapy. Unfortunately, more corporations, startups, and Silicon Valley entrepreneurs are interested in turning Therapy into profit. Think of BetterHelp and TalkSpace as the Uber and Lyft of mental health.

Yes, these companies can be convenient and economical for customers, but are you getting ethical treatment? These apps incentivize therapists to unethically extend the Therapeutic Relationship with clients to gain financial bonus rewards.

A therapist shouldn’t be treated like a gig economy worker. Work with a Licensed and Trained Couples Therapist who doesn’t unethically utilize a phone app to gain financial bonuses off clients.

Learn how couples therapy with Feel Understood helps build secure relationships: www.FeelUnderstood.com

12/02/2025

HOW TO REBUILD TRUST IN A RELATIONSHIP?

There is no quick solution, but trust can be regained, after past hurts are repaired. Work has to be done, the same way you rebuild a broken wall; brick by brick.

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy is essential at helping couples repair past hurts; it’s not just about apologizing, but truly understanding all the different layers of how a partner was effected.

After the work is done between partners to fully understand the pain caused and have a beneficial apology, then the trust can begin to be rebuilt; and that takes repetition over time. Inevitably, after a thorough deep dive with a EFT-trained couples therapist, trust can be regained.

Learn how couples therapy with Feel Understood helps build secure relationships: https://calendly.com/alejandro-feelunderstood/consultation

12/02/2025

DOES COUPLES COUNSELING FOR CHEATING OR INFIDELITY HELP?

I can guarantee that couples therapy with Feel Understood will help you with a thorough understanding of what led to infidelity in your relationship. There are so many factors and variables that you will not have considered, and discovering a clearer picture can be a helpful, and maybe a relief.

After this understanding is established, trust needs to be rebuilt; there is no guarantee that will happen, but it’s absolutely possible. Rebuilding trust takes repetition and effort, and time. The repair work that will happen is not just about the infidelity, couples therapy will teach you both how to have a more secure relationship that will prevent any further cheating to occur.

Learn how couples therapy with Feel Understood helps build secure relationships:

Offer only Available in California

Hi guys, entering couples therapy with uncertainty can be scary. I'm glad to answer questions. Please choose an available time together. Details below. www.FeelUnderstood.com(For our call, it’s expected that you’ll both be in the same room together on speakerphone.)I update times on Wednesdays b...

12/02/2025

HOW DOES COUPLES THERAPY WORK?

Do therapists give relationship advice? Hopefully, the answer is no. Online couples therapy with a trained couples therapist is an opportunity for you and your partner to engage with each other in a productive and meaningful way.

Therapists that give advice to couples are s*x therapists that will explain techniques and exercises based on their training. Individual therapy is about talking with your therapist, and couples therapy is about talking with your partner.

Once you get into the flow of sessions with your online couples therapist, you’ll learn to expect feeling surprised by what comes out of the session. Not knowing what your partner will express can feel scary, but an Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist is there to support you in the experience.

Learn how couples therapy with Feel Understood helps build secure relationships: https://calendly.com/alejandro-feelunderstood/consultation