SilverStrong

07/13/2023

I’m old, or at least that’s what gerontologists tell me. I turned sixty-five this past year and that means I’m in the “Young Old” category. I was actually proud of myself when I turned sixty-five. When I was in Air Force basic training, forty-seven years ago, I called home for the first time and was told my maternal grandmother had died at the age of sixty-four from colon cancer. I’ve been holding my breath for these past forty-seven years, and now I can exhale, at least a little until I’m seventy, the age that my paternal grandfather died. I’ve been holding my breath, while at the same time, preparing for old age, if that makes sense.

What I’ve proclaimed to people over the past decade is this: “You have to prepare for the last ten years of your life.” The average age of my parent’s deaths is eighty-five years old (Dad died at 82, mom at 87). And so, that means the last ten years of my life will be 75 to 85. How well have I done preparing? Ten years ago I began training to be a Certified Personal Trainer, and more specifically, a Senior Fitness Specialist. I read a lot about fitness and nutrition. I cannot tell you the number of books that I’ve read on these topics, seriously, hundreds. What lessons did I learn to help me as an aging man in his sixties? I’m now reading many, many books on aging, but what lessons did I learned during the past decade that I can teach my present self?

Keep reading on the blog now:

What I’ve proclaimed to people over the past decade is this: “You have to prepare for the last ten years of your life.” The average age of my parent’s deaths is eighty-five years old (Dad died at 82, mom at 87). And so, that means the last ten years of my life will be 75 to 85. How well have...

07/10/2023

“Everything in the Universe ages.” - Leonard Hayflick

So, why should we be any different?

The real question isn’t ARE we aging, but HOW are we aging? We have one body. There are no second chances or replacements. The way that you take care of your body now will most likely determine if you have a long and healthy life.

Here is what I tell my clients: “The sooner you become more health conscious, the more likely you’ll live a long and healthy life.”

I want to help in this process. I’ve written over 30 blogs in the Healthy Aging Series that cover how you can approach aging at any stage in life.

Begin here:

I’ll be providing blogs over the next 12 months to inform you and challenge you to become more health conscious now. Let's begin.

05/08/2023

The Harvard Grant Study followed 268 men throughout their lives, over a period of 85 years.

The study attempted to identify the factors that contributed most to successful aging, ages 60-80.

I am going to share one identifying factor that strongly predicted successful aging. Can you guess what it was?

Of all the factors that they looked at, which included things like a warm childhood, overall college, soundness, and coping strategies, the fact that predicted successful aging, the most of all, was the ability to find and maintain friendships at middle age.

I think it isn’t necessarily the friendships themselves that lead to flourishing, but rather, the skills that you need to maintain those friendships.

So what skills promote making and maintaining adult friendships? Here is my list...

Keep reading on the latest entry to the HEALTHY AGING SERIES: www.truenorththerapylouisville.com/race-of-life/

05/01/2023

Endurance athletes have one thing in common. Regardless of age, they run to eat! I can remember finishing a long training run for the Air Force Marathon, and remember finishing my summit to the top of Mount Whitney. I remember backpacking out of the Grand Canyon. Afterwards, I gorged on whatever I wanted. I couldn’t get enough to eat, and I didn’t worry about one single calorie!

Maybe I’m exaggerating a little, but I believe that most endurance athletes believe they can outrun a bad diet.

But how does research actually answer the question: Can you outrun a bad diet?

Keep reading on the latest entry to the HEALTHY AGING SERIES by Mark Neese:

Can you "outrun" a bad diet? It depends! Read about which behaviors affect your lifespan on the Healthy Aging Series, written by Mark Neese.

04/21/2023

04/10/2023

| TEN THINGS THERAPISTS WISH PEOPLE KNEW ABOUT THERAPY

1. WE DON’T TALK ABOUT YOU TO ANYONE ELSE.
Whether you see a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, a Licensed Professional Counselor, or a Licensed Psychologist, we are all held to a high standard of confidentiality by our respective professional organizations. If we were to talk about you to anyone outside the “cone of silence” (meaning outside the supervisor-supervisee relationship), we could be brought up on professional charges and have our licenses stripped by our state boards.

2. WE’RE NOT GOING TO ‘FIX YOUR KID.’
One of the hardest things about working with children and adolescents, from a therapist point of view, is that parents must realize that change has to happen to the entire family system. The analogy is a little crass, but here it goes: Fixing just one family member, whether parent or child, is like washing just one piece of laundry, and then being surprised when it smells bad after being tossed back in with unwashed laundry.

3. WE’RE NOT GOING TO ARBITRATE YOUR ARGUMENTS (OR TELL YOUR PARTNER THAT THEY’RE WRONG AND YOU’RE RIGHT).
When doing couples therapy, I make it very clear that I’m not on one partner or the other’s side. I’m on the side of your relationship, until you tell me otherwise. (Then we’re working on a new goal.) I’ve often told couples that they can argue at home—therapy is a place for them to learn how to do things differently.

Keep reading on the blog:

If you’re “doing therapy” to its fullest potential, it will challenge you, make you uncomfortable, and stretch you toward a life worth living.

04/07/2023

I learned a lot about grandparenting from my grandparents.

LESSON ONE: MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!

Listen to me, those of you who have adult children and are anticipating or already have grandchildren! Mind your own business.

You don’t like the politics of your grown children? Mind your own business!
You don’t like the way you’re grown children parent your grandchildren? Mind your own business!

You don’t like the way your children spend their money? Mind your own business you don’t approve of their choices of friends, or choices of occupations, or even their choice of partners? Mind your own business!

You don’t like the tidiness or lack of tidiness of their home and think they should be getting along better with your other adult children, their siblings, or they get divorced. Mind your own business.

If you don’t approve of their choice of pets or the number of pets they have, keep your opinion and your advice to yourself. Even if you don’t approve of their choice of religion, denomination, or the church they attend, mind your own business!

If you want to have a loving caring, nurturing, supportive relationship with your grandchildren, then accept their parents, your grown children, for who they are and mind your own business.

This includes giving unsolicited advice. Never do it! Giving unsolicited advice is a subtle form of disapproval. I always felt alienated and the disapproval of my grandmother‘s because they disapproved of my parents’ choices.

Keep reading on the blog at https://truenorththerapylouisville.com/grandparenting-lessons/

01/20/2023

What is "True North?"

True North differs from Magnetic North. Basically, it is a fixed point where the latitude lines meet. Magnetic North changes every day.

In our lives, we seek out things that will make us happy or hope will make us happy. We discover later, instead, that we are headed in a direction that creates chaos and unhappiness.

THINK ABOUT TRUE NORTH AS A DIRECTION OR JOURNEY.
One that helps us discover a life that is lived consistently with our values, passions, ambitions, and emotions.

When the “real you” is lived consistently with the things that you value, the things that are in your heart, you are headed “True North.”

However, life can be complicated and confusing. Things pull us off course. There are distractions. There are losses. We have relationships that create conflict. We have family members that are in distress. Life loses its luster and we find ourselves in despair.

TRUE NORTH COUNSELING IS A PLACE THAT CAN HELP YOU RESTART YOUR JOURNEY.
We listen. Our staff can help you rediscover the adventure of living.

Helen Keller said, “Life is a daring adventure.” Here was a person that discovered how to live life despite her very severe disabilities. We hope that we can help you, in light of your obstacles, discover how to live life and find your True North.

Learn more at https://truenorththerapylouisville.com.

01/18/2023

Sometimes you simply feel stuck. You feel stuck in a relationship, or a mood, or in a standoff with a workmate or employer. And on top of this, you feel hopeless. The way out involves “acting as if.”

It can be hard to get out of a downward emotional spiral. The therapists at True North can help you act yourself into a way of feeling. Learn more today!

01/16/2023

Beginning therapy for the first time can come with many questions, potentially making you feel overwhelmed. Here to help with that are 5 things to expect from a first therapy session.

Beginning therapy for the first time can be overwhelming. Here are 5 things to expect from a first therapy session.

12/21/2022

What did you call your grandparents? I called mine ‘grandma’ and ‘grandpa,’ and then use their first names when talking about them: Grandpa Jim and Grandma Louise, my maternal grandparents, and Grandpa Pat and Grandma Lulu, my paternal grandparents.

If I asked you to recall the most vivid memory of each of your grandparents, what would it be? Here are mine...

Keep reading on the blog:

What did you learn about grandparenting from your grandparents? Think of ways you can learn from them. They made mistakes. We all do. I have.

12/19/2022

Throughout our lives we experience the loss of jobs, of first loves, or the loss of money in the stock market. We live through the stress of a spiteful supervisor, the stress of an irrational neighbor, the stress of living in a partisan country. We carry the burden of wayward children and grandchildren, the burden of an ailing partner, the burden of a dying parent. We endure the disappointment of unfulfilled dreams, unrequited love, and undeserved betrayals. Life can be a mess.

How prepared are you for those messes, the mental and emotional upheavals? How psychologically resilient are you? How quickly do you rebound from the disappointments, from the unexpected adversities, and from unwanted changes?

Keep reading about psychological resiliency on the blog at

Becoming and maintaining our psychological resilience takes practice. These are my life-affirming practices. What are yours? Read now.