02/06/2026
1. Don’t apologize for your body.
I promise you, I’ve seen every shape, size, and level of chaos a human body can offer.
Shaved legs? Back hair? Acne? Stretch marks? Literally none of that matters.
Just show up clean and we’re good. 🛀🏻
2. Respect the cancellation policy. Seriously.
When you cancel last-minute, I lose income. P**f. Gone.
And no, I can’t magically summon someone to fill your spot with 12 minutes’ notice.
This policy keeps your therapist functional and her family fed. Please and thank you.
3. If your issue has been around since the dinosaurs, I can’t fix it in one session. 🦕 That knot you’ve had since 2019? Yeah… she’s committed. 🪨
Repetitive habits create chronic problems. Regular sessions fix them.
Once every few months = maintenance for denial, not your body.
4. Speak up if it hurts. I’m good, not psychic. 🔮
I won’t be offended if you ask for more pressure, less pressure, or a whole different technique.
Your session isn’t a guessing game—tell me what your body needs.
5. Feeling amazing on the table does NOT equal romantic chemistry. 🤦🏽♀️ That warm floaty feeling? It’s serotonin and skilled touch—not a love connection.
This is healthcare. Sexualizing my job IS offensive. Don’t make it weird.
6. Your tight shoulders are not the worst I’ve ever seen. Promise. Everyone’s shoulders are tight. Everyone’s.
You’re not a medical marvel—you’re just a human who texts and stresses. Welcome to the Club! 👋
7. And for the love of fascia: stop apologizing for your tight muscles. They make my job fun. They keep me employed.
I’m literally here because you’re tight. Relax. 😉
