11/05/2025
So apparently the Alabama Board of Massage Therapy woke up one morning in their little tower of paperwork and said:
“You know what would really make the world a better place?
Let’s raise the establishment license fee from $50 to $350.
Yes, SEVEN TIMES the cost.
The massage therapists will be thrilled.”
BABE. THRILLED?
Like… I am out here running a small business with my two hands, my spine operating at 47% structural integrity, and a soul held together with coffee and good intentions — and you want to pretend I’m Amazon Headquarters?
$350 to simply exist as a legal massage business in 2026.
PLUS all the new hoops, rules, renewals, “inspections,” and bureaucratic jazz hands like we are auditioning for the Broadway revival of ‘Red Tape: The Musical.’
Let’s be real:
Massage therapists are not billionaires.
We are literally people trying to help other humans feel better in their bodies and afford groceries.
Raising the fee from $50 → $350 doesn’t help clients.
It doesn’t improve safety.
It doesn’t stop trafficking.
It doesn’t uplift the profession.
It punishes the legitimate small business owners while the actual shady places will continue doing whatever the hell they want — because they always have and always will.
So now a whole lot of small businesses, private practitioners, and etc. have to decide whether we:
1. Raise our prices on our clients who are also struggling
2. Work ourselves into dust
3. Close our doors
4. Or start brewing moonshine in the back because APPARENTLY Alabama wants to send us back to the Prohibition Era.
I’m angry
I’m tired.
And I’m not staying quiet about it.
Massage therapy is real healthcare.
Small businesses deserve to survive.
And the people making these decisions have clearly never massaged one damn shoulder in their lives because if they did, they would have known the wrath that follows a stressed massage therapist is a force to be reckoned with.
Anyway.
If you’re a massage therapist in Alabama, I love you.
If you run a small practice, I see you.
