02/27/2022
As many of you may know, I've been suffering from depression for a while. Since Sept 2021 when my beloved 11 year old pit bull passed away. I'm not one that can handle death well to begin with (my dad died when I was 7) and Stoney dying triggered some real deep emotions.
Some of you may say, "It was just a dog, get over it" or "Cheer up and stop being so sad." Some may not understand what an integral part of my life she really was. And that's ok. That is your opinion.
What I can tell you is that I know she wasn't a human (although she thought differently ;) ). I know she was a dog. But, she also was with me for 11 years. 11 years of loving, caring, feeding, bonding, crying, talking, friendship, loyalty, and everything that belongs in a healthy relationship. She loved me and I loved her. Watching her die was THE hardest thing I've ever done in my life and I've done some really hard things.
I went to a dark place. My life just doesn't seem the same. I adopted a new dog right away because I didn't know how to function without a dog. And what I can say is that it's hard. I probably should have waited. But now I'm in it and that dog is now stuck with me... a big hot mess. And she loves me. And I love her.
I realized about a week ago, when my depression hit another real low, that I needed to seek help, outside of friends and family. Bless my sweetheart whom has stood by me, he deserves a medal. I was prescribed Prozac and therapy sessions.
I know there's a stigma against medication from some and I didn't enter into this lightly. The good outweighed the bad. I have to crawl out of this darkness and live my life. Stoney would NOT have wanted me to be sad forever. She brought so much joy to my life and now I need to find that again, but with some help.
So, that's what's been going on in my life. Dog died. Sadness ensued. Quit long term job. Got new job. Ate my feelings. Gained a bunch of weight. More sadness. More depression. More food. Seek help. Got help. Crawling out of darkness. One day at a time.
What do you do for depression?