10/21/2025
What I’m Learning: Family Is Our First Community, And the Bridge We’re All Still Trying to Build
The more I listen, really listen, the more I realize: we’re not as divided on what families need as we are on who gets to define them.
There’s something valuable happening when thinkers on the Left and Right meet at the intersection of family, culture, and care. This conversation reminded me that when we put the spreadsheet down and start with the context, with people, not policies, we actually have a shot at common ground.
But here's the deeper truth I’m learning: both sides tend to overlook the family as the first community we ever experience. That’s not a political position. It’s a relational reality.
We are shaped by how our families function, not just how they look on paper. Whether it’s a single mom, a co-parenting arrangement, a q***r couple, or a so-called traditional household, the question isn’t “what kind of family do you come from?” It’s “how safe and resourced was your family system?”
In my work, I see families struggling not because they lack values, but because they lack relational infrastructure. Emotional capital. Legacy-focused leadership. Safety. Regulation. Support. Those aren't partisan ideas. They're human needs.
So instead of arguing over which model of family should get the stamp of approval, maybe we could ask: What investments would help all families, regardless of structure, build the trust, capacity, and shared responsibility it takes to raise resilient people?
Because if we’re honest, the crisis we’re in isn’t just about paid leave, or birth rates, or daycare models.
It’s about disconnection. It’s about loneliness. And it’s about the unspoken grief of parents who want to give their children the world, but feel like they’re doing it alone.
I believe we can do better. And it starts by seeing family policy as relationship policy. Not a culture war. Not a budget line. But a legacy worth protecting.
👉 Read the full piece that inspired this reflection: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/can_the_right_and_the_left_agree_on_what_families_need?utm_source=Greater+Good+Science+Center&utm_campaign=c64ab6d081-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_GG_Newsletter_October_9_2025&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_5ae73e326e-c64ab6d081-51137675
Family policy expert Patrick T. Brown offers some perspective on conservative views of paid leave, child care, income equality, and abortion.