01/20/2026
When children are taught to suppress their emotions, they don’t lose those emotions, they lose access to emotional presence, intelligence, and regulation. Our ability to stay present with our inner world is what allows us to feel passion, joy, creativity, and self-worth.
It’s what allows us to feel deeply connected to ourselves, and build connection with others. When couples come to therapy to work on communication, they don’t realize communication is an emotional skillset. The ability to regulate, attune, and stay present within, is what makes us more relationally skilled.
And it shows up in our parenting too. When we can’t hold our own emotions, we’re more likely to either suppress, fix, or feel overtaken by our children’s emotions. Not because we don’t care, but because we can only offer what we’ve learned to give ourselves.
Therapists don’t focus on feelings for fun. They focus on them because access to your emotional world forms the relationship you have within. It builds self worth, self trust, and your ability to meet others. And the honest and hopeful truth is what wasn’t taught, can always be learned.
(This quote was inspired by a clip of the amazing Dr. John Gottman)
