Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy

Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy S*x and relationship therapist
Helping you have more secure relationships.

Disconnection can involve feeling alone, misunderstood, invalidated, dismissed, ignored, unimportant, unappreciated, bla...
04/07/2026

Disconnection can involve feeling alone, misunderstood, invalidated, dismissed, ignored, unimportant, unappreciated, blamed, criticized, judged, etc. The longer we feel this way in a relationship, the stronger a negative cycle becomes.

Disclaimer: Content is for educational purposes and doesn’t constitute therapy. Posts are generalized and may not fit all individuals or situations. My posts don’t speak to situations of abuse, active addiction, or certain mental health conditions.

Consent is not the absence of “no.” It’s the presence of a clear, mutual, and ongoing “yes.”Without consent, there isn’t...
04/07/2026

Consent is not the absence of “no.” It’s the presence of a clear, mutual, and ongoing “yes.”

Without consent, there isn’t safety, trust, or intimacy. Clear, ongoing consent protects emotional/physical safety, builds respect, and creates a space where people can experience pleasure and connection.

Disclaimer: Content is for educational purposes and doesn’t constitute therapy. Posts are generalized and may not fit all individuals or situations. Please only do what’s best for you and your situation. My posts don’t speak to situations of abuse, active addiction, or certain mental health conditions.

Gaslighting has become a buzzword, but it’s often being misused in ways that dilute its meaning. Gaslighting is not some...
04/07/2026

Gaslighting has become a buzzword, but it’s often being misused in ways that dilute its meaning.

Gaslighting is not someone disagreeing with you, a partner remembering something differently, or a dismissive comment.

Gaslighting is a *pattern* of psychological manipulation that is *intentional* and aimed at controlling another person by making them question their reality.

Why does it matter how we use this word? When we label every invalidating or minimizing comment as gaslighting, we lose the ability to truly convey when this type of psychological abuse is present.

Want to learn more about gaslighting? I recommend watching the movie, Gaslight (1944). It’s an oldie, but it provides a better sense of where this term comes from.

You can also read more about it here: https://www.thehotline.org/resources/what-is-gaslighting/

Note: There are times when people are using this term correctly. This post is not speaking to those circumstances.

Disclaimer: Content is for educational purposes and doesn’t constitute therapy. Posts are generalized and may not fit all individuals or situations. Please only do what’s best for you and your situation. My posts don’t speak to situations of active addiction or certain mental health conditions.

As the saying goes, “different strokes for different folks.”Disclaimer: Content is for educational purposes and doesn’t ...
04/06/2026

As the saying goes, “different strokes for different folks.”

Disclaimer: Content is for educational purposes and doesn’t constitute therapy. Posts are generalized and may not fit all individuals or situations. My posts don’t speak to situations of abuse, active addiction, or certain mental health conditions.

What is your best relationship tip?Disclaimer: Content is for educational purposes and doesn’t constitute therapy. Posts...
04/06/2026

What is your best relationship tip?

Disclaimer: Content is for educational purposes and doesn’t constitute therapy. Posts are generalized and may not fit all individuals or situations. My posts don’t speak to situations of abuse, active addiction, or certain mental health conditions.

Just a few thoughts after 20 years in the mental health field and over a decade specializing in relationships.Disclaimer...
04/05/2026

Just a few thoughts after 20 years in the mental health field and over a decade specializing in relationships.

Disclaimer: Content is for educational purposes and doesn’t constitute therapy. Posts are generalized and may not fit all individuals or situations. Please only do what’s best for you and your situation. My posts don’t speak to situations of abuse, active addiction, or certain mental health conditions.

Among so many other things that therapists can and can’t do. What would you add?Disclaimer: Content is for educational p...
04/05/2026

Among so many other things that therapists can and can’t do. What would you add?

Disclaimer: Content is for educational purposes and doesn’t constitute therapy. Posts are generalized and may not fit all individuals or situations. My posts don’t speak to situations of abuse, active addiction, or certain mental health conditions.

These are core needs in relationships and often at the root of the conflict or argument.Source: Based on emotionally foc...
04/04/2026

These are core needs in relationships and often at the root of the conflict or argument.

Source: Based on emotionally focused therapy by Dr. Sue Johnson and attachment theory by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth.

Disclaimer: Content is for educational purposes and doesn’t constitute therapy. Posts are generalized and may not fit all individuals or situations. My posts don’t speak to situations of abuse, active addiction, or certain mental health conditions.

Open-ended questions are a great way to deepen connection and get to know different parts of your partner(s) or loved on...
04/04/2026

Open-ended questions are a great way to deepen connection and get to know different parts of your partner(s) or loved one(s).

Disclaimer: Content is for educational purposes and doesn’t constitute therapy. Posts are generalized and may not fit all individuals or situations. My posts don’t speak to situations of abuse, active addiction, or certain mental health conditions.

I know some people get too anxious without repair before bed and then can’t sleep. That absolutely makes sense! Knowing ...
04/04/2026

I know some people get too anxious without repair before bed and then can’t sleep. That absolutely makes sense! Knowing that sometimes there is no path to effective communication in the moment, we might have to practice and explore what brings us a sense of emotion regulation in order to get some sleep or reduce the anxiety. This is easier to do when there’s a commitment from all partners to revisit the conversation in the morning or the next day.

Disclaimer: Content is for educational purposes and doesn’t constitute therapy. Posts are generalized and may not fit all individuals or situations. My posts don’t speak to situations of abuse, active addiction, or certain mental health conditions.

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Maple Grove, MN
55311

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Monday 9am - 5pm
Tuesday 9am - 5pm
Wednesday 9am - 5pm
Thursday 9am - 5pm

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+16122762779

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